mirabriani
Well-Known Member
Mental Health Hotline
Hello and Welcome
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you
If you have mutiple personalities,
press 3,4,5 and 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line, we will trace your call
If you are delusional, press 7 and we will call the mother ship
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully...a small voice
will tell you which number to press
If you are a manic depressive, it does not matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are dyslexic press 9696969696969696
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget
with the hatch key until a representitive comes on the line
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address,
telephone number, date of birth, social security number, your mothers maiden name and your pin number.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have low self esteem, hang up.
All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down
and have a good cry. It will pass in a few years
If you are blond, do not touch any buttons. You will just
mess it up.
Now enjoy "Greensleeves"
Regards Briani
Hello and Welcome
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you
If you have mutiple personalities,
press 3,4,5 and 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line, we will trace your call
If you are delusional, press 7 and we will call the mother ship
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully...a small voice
will tell you which number to press
If you are a manic depressive, it does not matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are dyslexic press 9696969696969696
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget
with the hatch key until a representitive comes on the line
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address,
telephone number, date of birth, social security number, your mothers maiden name and your pin number.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have short term memory loss, press 9
If you have low self esteem, hang up.
All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down
and have a good cry. It will pass in a few years
If you are blond, do not touch any buttons. You will just
mess it up.
Now enjoy "Greensleeves"
Regards Briani
