Maureen consultant

[Gunfleet]

I have the job of finding a QUALIFIED consultant who can advise on the correct spec for laying Maureens in the river Blackwater. I don't mean " old so & so who has done it for years" unfortunately the insurance Co's are not that impressed . I need a proper Maureen layer. Someone told me to try a chap called Billericay Dickey down at Burnham on Crouch. Apparently some of the blockheads there stuff their poor old Maureens, get sloshed and go beserk. Any suggestions?

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[Golden_Knight]

Why not ask Joyce and Vicky

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[stevebrassett]

Clever Trevor is your man.

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[miket]

Who\'s Maureen?!! NM

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[squidge]

Re: Layin Maureens

First things first. Buy em a rum & coke or port & lemon,loosens em up ya see .oh and take yer time they are sometimes a bit slow to get goin.watch the red top uns as they can b a bit firey, and the ones wiv a yella top can be a bit dim.Its a bit cold this time or year but if you find a game un lay er slow and easy .once laid proper they can be reused year after year wiv little maintenance. Just right as you dont want any high maintenance ones here on the Blackwater as its deep water and u dont want to keep having to go down to check er out.

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[FullCircle]

Is there a few quid in this, cos the beer fund needs a bit of replen..
I qualified to enter a Readers Digest Draw, and I went into the next round with a DEFINITE cash prize. I also laid a Maureen a few times in me yoof, but she weren't dunked in the Blackwater. More Ashford Lido actually. And I also made a claim on insurance once.
So I fink I qualify for at least a 50% go at the money. Dirt Cheap me. Now, all we need to do is find a laying in the Blackwater heckspurt, get it togevver, and Robert is your farvers bruvver.



<hr width=100% size=1>Jeanneau 35 - only 13,272 lbs displacement, not even 6 tons,what a lightweight!!!

 

[Mudplugger]

First find your Maureen place, The Ship or Jolly Sailor would probably be as good a place as any to start. You'll need to pick one that's shapely, into bondage, and has a chain fetish. I suspect that your search will take some time, so ensure you have sufficient dosh to allow you to sample the local brew while you peruse. It may be better for your health if you go to Bradwell/ Heybridge. HTH Tony W.

<hr width=100% size=1>Tony W.

 

[Piere]

Any old maureen will do.
they normally lay down readilly and rarely move.
they respond well to gin and tonics and have been known to tie their own knots when tempted with the odd brandy .
old dickey will help you but be warned he has the monopoly on laying maureens in the crouch and you may find the monopoly commission on your back unless you have hotels on mayfair then you may need to pay rent if you land on it .
muareens are much cheaper in the crouch and they got a good club there too.


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[oldharry]

Dont have many Maureens down on the S Coast, all been taken over by the much more sofistulated Marina, a much more expensive lady, and more inclined to give birth....

Still you east Coast types will just have to go on putting up with your Essex Girl types.

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[ArthurWood]

How dare you talk about my wife in this way/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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[Gunfleet]

pole Maureens

would be more popular down there, plus a few fore and aft Maureens.

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[Gunfleet]

are these

the famous swinging Maureens?

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[capricorn]

When visiting another port I always used to think it was ok to pick up any vacant Maureen, although recent threads have indicated that I could have problems if it turns out that the Maureen had not been serviced properly by its owner. Even though it may look OK when you pick it up there's no way of knowling what state it's in down below and once you've made fast it could be too late. Perhaps I should just rely on using my own tackle when away from home ?

If I do decide to pick up another chap's Maureen and he returns in the middle of the night, I trust that the right thing to do is to leave immediatly rather than offer him a drink and ask him to raft up alongside.

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[Piere]

Re: are these

oh yes .Well calculated John . the essex mariner to be precise .
Only been there once when I delivered my boat back to home port .
Keep meaning to go back for a two week cruise of the east coast but not got round to it yet

CAN YOU WORK OUT THIS ONE THEN!!! GOOD LUCK
At home
We got for and aft Maureens here , an active fishing fleet , a railway that crosses the harbour dividing it in two . many private and charter fishing motor boats . A fully drying tidal harbour , many harbourside pubs and a hotel that looks a little like a cruise ship from a couple of miles out to sea .
P.S. we got a Muareen in our club , one that must be obeyed!!!

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[whisper]

/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif til I cried.

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[Gunfleet]

Re: are these

I'm hopeless at this, and as anyone can tell you am only any good in East Anglia or France. I need supervising once I get to the south coast otherwise I get lorst. I'm guessing that you're describing the Tamar... but what do I know?

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[Piere]

Re: are these

Ditto , I know very little bout East coast.

But I was describing Folkestone.

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[Gunfleet]

Re: are these

The pilot books are full of warnings of the type 'dries', 'locals only' 'no facilities for yachtsmen' and 'here be beasties'. I've only been past it and have never tried to stop there or anywhere else between Dover and Eastbourne, which frankly can be a bit of a schlep.

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[ShipsWoofy]

Re: are these

I presume you don't want your Maureen to have trots or piles then?

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.topcatsail.co.uk>All New website</A>

 

[oldharry]

Re: are these

Wash your bilges out with soap Woofy! Our posh lady Marina down here never heard of such things!

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