Little Snigger for Thursday

[syd]

Ok so..


Carlos phones his boss and says, "Ay boss, I notta come to work today, I really sick. I gotta headache, a stomach ache and my legsa hurt, I notta come to work.
The boss says. "You know Carlos, I really need you today. When I feel like that, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That always makes me feel better and I can then go to work. Perhaps you should try that.
Two hours later Carlos calls again, "Boss, I didda what you say and I feel great, I will be back at work very soon. You gotta nice house"!



Spotty teenager Syd

 

[BarryH]

The old ones are the best. Try this one, old as well,

A bra. a car battery and a jump lead walk into a pub. The bra asks for three whiskey's. The barmen says "I'm not serving you lot". The bra asks "Why not?" Barman replies "Your off your tits and the other two wanna start something"
BOOM BOOM

OK, to hell with it. Unbolt it and we'll use it as an anchor!

 

[nicho]

Two teenagers were arrested, one for drinking battery acid, the other for stealing fireworks - the police charged one, and let the other off!!

 

[byron]

Here's one for you Syd.
3 fleas on a motor bike, which is the sexy one?
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The one on the Horn
,.,.,.,.,,.,.
You tell bads ones, well so can I.

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<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.freeware.mcmail.com/435.htm>http://www.freeware.mcmail.com/435.htm</A>

 

[peterg]

OK so...

while a woman is having an orgasm,what's her a*sehole doing?
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he's done the pub with his mates of course ;-)


apologies to Kim it will never happen again etc... erm a woman actually told me this one

oh God, I can see helicopters circling overhead and now a big black limo has just pulled up outside.....I'll get me coat!

currently boatless and jobless

 

[syd]

RIGHT, you asked for it!

Three mice in an airing cupboard. Which one is the soldier??





The one on the tank!! BOOM BOOM.


A bloke in a suit in an office goes round hitting everybody over the head with a rolled up news paper. WHY ??




Coz he's the EDITOR !

Syd

 

[Andrew_Fanner]

Oh dear, down to that level!

There were three tins of boot polish. Which one was the musketeer?



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The Dark Tan 'Un

OK, back to the day job

Two beers please, my friend is paying.

 

[Guest]

spec they put him in a dry cell then charged him

"The Med has got me" (no not the Medway the other Med)

 

[greystones]

It is important to find a woman with with lots of money,
a woman who adores you .
a woman who is great in the sack,
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Its also very important that these 3 women never meet.

 

[nicho]

Nice one - did you hear about the two little boys who ran to their Grandad and said "Quick Grandad give us a frog impression" - Grandad said "Why do you want me to do that lads?" - "Because" said the boys "Daddy's just said that when Grandad croaks we can all go to Disneyworld"!!!!!

 

[greystones]

If men Believed in reincarnation they would come back as a tablecloth.


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they would get laid 3 times a day and pulled off last thing at night

 

[greystones]

definition of confidence!
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coming home at 0300 smelling of perfume and drunk
slapping your wife in the ass and saying your next .