Keeping porn off this site, and help for Mr Blount

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I read from our e-leaders that porn is a possibly very great potential problem hereabouts. The greatest problem being that those b@$tard$ that sell us the blimmin boat always short-deliver on softy-porn near-naked and highly available-looking people as in the brochures. Of course, we certainly don't want to be inundated with filthy pictures as in Razzle page 29 and especially erm ahem...

Oh, Mr Blount. You need a yacht ch@nd!er for boatie stuff. The lifebuoy thing might be a touch over-engineered seeing as how it'll knock anyone out if you hit them with it, mebbe?

And now back to the porn, which we are all dead interested in. We're especially jealous that KimH has somehow managed to wangle his new job as being to combat porn on this and related sites. So how will he do that then? Well, seeing as how there's none here, he'll have to go and find loads of it, purely for testing of course.

Truth is, there's no porn at all. And if there was, it would be rather slow, dull and horrible pensioner-based porn on the YawnBoringWait.com sites now wouldn't it?...unless KimH finally tracks down and ensures delivery on the aforementioned boat-brochure bimbo/ettes! (see, even-handed non-sexist text! They can't chuck me off for being non-PC now can they? ...and the rude words like blo0dy and sh1t are all reliably filtered!)

But there's a problem: unfortunately, those of us with ageing boats, and/or sensible later serial numbers (like mine) say #25 or higher might find these once-beautiful people now somewhat oldish and disappointingly secondhand. I imagine it'll be a truly awful experience for H to finally get his circa 1985 cornish raver, although I suppose she'll have reconditioned waterworks.

Anyway, I'm off now to cut up some black paper and make those rude black rectangular face/eye masks they all seem to use, just in case.
 
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I\'ve Found you some Matt !!

Sc!*%horpe In Lincolnshire ??
 
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Re: fab - let\'s try a few others

Praps some b%$!%*%ised English won't work, especially on a sw*@#y forum like this.
 
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Re: fab - let\'s try a few others

You mean like replace f"%% With Ph*** or K+++ instead
of C+++.
Will that work.
Wonder how many other words like Sc!@@horpe
wont work.
 
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Re: Keeping porn off this site, and help for Mr Bl

I don't know about stopping bad language and porn on this site i think they should stop you from using it. You never have a good word to say about anybody or anything and you critise Kim H and his hard working team. You really are a waste of time and space!! If you can not post anything good don't post anything at all!!
 
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Keeping Matt off the site !!

Go On Tell the no good <^%$(.
Give him some s*1t.
I agree with you.
Matt for the gallows
Hang the b*grr.

Be nice to Karl and Kim.

Sort of rolls off the tong, that bit.

A bit like Richard and Judy.
 
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Re: Keeping porn off this site, and help for Mr Bl

I wonder can we have.A shaggy dog story from Skunthorpe
 
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Re: Keeping porn off this site, and help for Mr Bl

Ohh Well!! That Seemed to work this time.
So letts carry on.

There was this guy with a shaggy dog story from
Sc@@@horpe that said.( carry on from here folks and lets see what happends).
 
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Re: Lemme get this right......

.......we should only be on this site if we don't say stuff that upsets SOH-failure types like you and if we don't critise (sic) the management? Yeah right. Now turning to boatie stuff.....let me guess, your boat is a Volga 275 and you come from quite near the factory, right?
 
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Re: Keeping porn off this site, and help for Mr Bl

I'm not sure I've quite got the gist of this thread. Is it a call for free speech?
You can't get much freer than Haydn's even if it is a bit slurred at times. You also miss bits as a result of the smokers cough. In fact that's probably whats wrong with his spelling -he's coughing as he types!
Anyway, its a bit cold in Scotland for bikini clad nymphettes and further, I am not sure if Birchwood were ever able to afford them in their brochures anyway.

Nick
 
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Re: rude birchwoods

Oh yes there were! There were lots of unclad women, all indoors tho, which is even ruder, and that's why people bought the boats: overexpenditure on the bimbo budget caused their demise.
 
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Re: thairline fongs

Sheesh, you keep old Birchwood brochures Matt? Just don't take any with you when visiting the boys at Rodriguez to check progress or they'll chuck you out (how's it going by the way?)

Anyway, you own a computer company so can you scan 'em in and get them pdf-ed around asap?

I thought the girl in the 1999 Fairline brochure had a nice thong too. Well that's why I bought the boat anyway.
 
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Re: rodriguez etc

they chucked me out anyway. Fortunately, prior to going in, the guy from whom I wd get a berth had tipped them off that I would be in, so that if I bort a new boat, he'd get commission.

This sounds dodgy, but works quite well. Rodriguex are sole vendors for Leopard and Mangusta. So they are a bit sniffy, esp if you drop in with no shoes from the recep pontoon. Strictly girl salespeople, and haurt Paris fashion too, so I looked a bit of a nerk, and then the kids turned up.

However, the nice man from whom I get the berth went in there later, sorted them out or perhaps punched them, and then arranged for us to have a new boat for about 50k more than an old one with all the wrong bed arrangements.

We've just got past the "I bet he won't buy it" stage as we actually did send some money off to them. A day after I sent 100k, the rate moved against me, so I could have saved 40 quid. I booked more money in November, and of course the rate moved against me again, as I booked at 10.5, Dang. Boat not due till end May early next year.

Everything, but everything is included, including anything that you can think of that wd be special to the boat. Pop-up fairleads, extra railings, electric rising dashboards, any arrangemnt you fancy of cockpit seating, two o0r three beds, bunks or doubles and so on and so on.

So far, it's a different world. E.g. the g'teed date for the boat is 10th June 2002. If I turn up on 11th and no boat, they organise another for the holiday, and this actually happened for a boat last year. E.g. when I say everythings incl, that includes 12 place setting of any crocks and cutlery from anywhere, then they makes shelves to fit it. E'g also five towels and two bathrobes for six people. And duvets and bedlinen, and fire hydrant hosepipe liferaft jetboat jetbike.... and even women! Actually that's a lie, butthere is a skipper foc for the first 6 months.

In may we have to go and get sneered at by the designer peeps in cannes.
 
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Richard and Judy???

Okay, that's it, I get the message. I'm gone!
 
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Re: rodriguez, electronics, etc

Sounds fantastic, I'm v. jealous. Different world from mucking about with Port Fairline and similar caravan dealers. Not sure I'd lock in Euros right now at November forward rates, live dangerously and take a punt for the time being. If you're worried about the small risk of the rate running away buy an option at something like 10.1 (Francs) - that will be cheap enough that you wont mind abandoning it if the spot rate goes to a nice 11 or something. Presume the last 40-50% slug is close to May 2002?

Let us know what nav electronics you're specifying (please, not the Garmin handheld plotter....) By spooky coincidence on the flight back from Paris tonight I ended up sitting next to the CEO of my fave client; he's just bought "Unplugged" which is a beautiful 34m sloop - currently in Cannes so you might see it. Anyway, point is, it was built 1994 and is having major refit this winter. Amazingly it has no interfaced elecs, and has a big GPS but not even a plotter! So we spent the flight speccing the new nav kit and decided on the new Furuno PC based kit with those nice Nakamichi 18" plasma or TFT monitors plus that dogz bollox charting software (reading off DVD I think) that gives you the usual CMap functionality plus a 3-D view where you can see a 'puter constructed 3D pic of the sea bed. And it's all wired up together so you can run the TV onto the same monitor plus you can open up little windows on the monitor showing images from vid cameras dotted round the boat for keeping an eye (well, CCD) on the kids. Anyway, it occurs to me that's just what you need for the Leopard, right?. Prob standard spec!

Anyway 18months ago I was really chuffed wiv my navy phantom and Simrad colour plotter and bits and bobs and now you lot are making me feel like it's an ickle reliant robin so I'm off to order some brochures and convince myself that a trade-in is the only way to go.....

Did you check with the Rodriguez boys - sorry, girls - that it cooks pot noodles ok?
 
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Re: morph..

Great, rather like a dishwasher you'll wonder how you lived without it. Can you tell me what is current delivery, is there actually a waitlist or were they able to do the next day service?

Later on if you decide it's too ugly sitting on the dash you can hacksaw it in half and separate the LEDS from the main guts, connect by ribbon cable and hide the guts out of sight. Use a re-emitter to bounce the gps signal to the guts as the PCB mounted antenna wont be able to see the sats when hidden behind the dash. That's what I did. Lemme know later if you decide to do this, you have to hacksaw in exactly the right place, kind of surgical accuracy needed.
 
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Re: rodriguez, electronics, etc

I booked £400k at 10.55 for november. For the rest, they say best for french reg boats is to borrow with option to buy, as that way the VAT is 10ish percent instead of nearly 20% and the net paid of 50% over 3 years is slightly under the cash price. No, there's no discount.

You are right into this electronics, eh? You will have to come down to see that there's water (that's the deep stuff) and land. Since the diesel costs loads, and nobody wants to go to horrid sp or italy, and everybody knows it all anyway, we don't go too far so all the interface whasname is not needed. Anyway, on the bigger boats, Mr Citation has no clue how to drive and uses a captain, so the Pot Noodle capabilities are much more important. New thread praps.
 
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