BobE
Well-Known Member
Jokes to keep you smilin\' whilst ashore this fine day....
I thought these might make you grin....
One especially for Ships Woofy
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file.
Whose funeral is it?
The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife"
"What happened to her?"
The man replied " My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered "My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Join the queue"
And for the rest of you land lubbers, afterguard stumblebums or wotever...
Three ducks walked into a bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
Go on deny that you at least grinned.. I laughed...
Cheers Bob E...
I thought these might make you grin....
One especially for Ships Woofy
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file.
Whose funeral is it?
The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife"
"What happened to her?"
The man replied " My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered "My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Join the queue"
And for the rest of you land lubbers, afterguard stumblebums or wotever...
Three ducks walked into a bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck,
"Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
Go on deny that you at least grinned.. I laughed...
Cheers Bob E...
