Jocks away chaps

[Twister_Ken]

Hoots, wee Kimmy, howsabout a sep-erate forum for thise Jocks that willnae speak the sassenach?

The poor wee fools can rantnrave tae thimselves in clanspeak wi'oot gettin oop oor nases.

 

[ParaHandy]

fair affront'it, ken. Is this nae a case fer the rashial disciminashion?
Ah like to poke a wee bit o fun at youse yins when yer getting overly serious aboot yer boats.

 

[jimi]

Ach Ken, dae ye no want tae talk tae us. That no awfie ceeveel o' ye.

Jim

 

[iangrant]

Seconded my dear chap, them's as mad as a bag of frogs!

Ian

 

[kimhollamby]

eh?

kim_hollamby@ipcmedia.com

 

[Rabbie]

Hey laddies - note the use of the word 'Hoots', an exclamation which has never crossed the tongue of onybuddy but thae sassenachs!. Zat no' ri' eh? Soonds tae me like wee Ken is no' averse tae a bit o' marine devolution - in which case can we get back tae wearing a saltire at the back again?.

 

[claymore]

Tha's a liberty - where wid ye be wioot us - is it no' oor wee selves wha bring yon intelligence tae thae floras (Lovely girl an brave too) Dae ye ever see us rantin aboot flags - weel mebbe the Saltire sometimes - but dae we ivver dae onythin ither than enhance the sityiation aroon here, Kenny ma boy?

regards
Claymore

 

[Twister_Ken]

Eh?

Dear Mr Claymore

Frightfully sorry old sport, absolutely not a inkling of what you are actually trying to express.

Toodle Pip.

 

[jimi]

Re: Eh?

Ah Weel, Bender Ken, dae ye no ken the doric? Ah wid hae thocht that residing as ye dae in the multi ethnic cosmopolitan capital of Britain ye wid had nae problem wi' ane o' the dialects o' yer mither tongue.

Jim

 

[iangrant]

How about rebuilding Hadrian's wall and allowing Scotland to use their own language and make them like the welsh, (there are similarities) similar to Wales the road signs also in their own language - Slow = nae too fass roond the bend, uneven surface = hoots mon a lumpy roood, etc... We should insist that with full devolution Scotland will become self financing so the English Government can reduce taxes. etc.. etc.. I'm sure others could add details

Ian

 

[Twister_Ken]

McGonagle/McKeller/etc

Seriously though folks, whenever I read Scots dialect my first thought is "Donald where's yer troosers?", followed by a patronising (how English) sympathy for the sensible members of the North British persuasion that have had kilts, caber tossing, daft dancing, McGonagle, McKellar, Burns and Andy Stewart thrust up them, like it or not.

Written dialect doesn't work - can you imagine reading the Big Yin (William Connolly) scripts. Compared to hearing him, it would be an entirely unsatisfactory experience! It's not just Scots, it's all written dialect...

"Hey Homey, ur loowrider 's cherry. 
You gotsda phat chromes anda phat hydros. 
Yous da daady mac, foo'!!" 

"Hello my friend, your car is good(very nice).
You have nice hub caps and the nicest hydralics.
You are a very cool guy, my friend."

 

[ParaHandy]

Re: Nae Troosers?

Billy Connolly's scripts were never meant to be published because his comedy is almost wholly visual. You'd be hard put to describe the picture of him mimicking a young man scratching his ba's through his pockets. But that's modern "televisual" comedy for you and none the worse for it either. But, there are many Scot's authors who can capture comedy in words. They might not be so popular as you've got to read them (might be the elektrishity didna' come tae the glens frae a lang time?). Neil Munro, Stuart Donald are two who manage to do it rather well. Written dialect does work........no/yes?

Whilst on the subject of troosers...........herself was on the boat this weekend and a very good time was had by the two of us. I was coming back in the dinghy with more wine/food/etc and I was *told* to hand over the painter while I clambered back on board and she tied it up. About an hour later, after several glasses, I saw the top of the outboard bobbing up and down over the transom. A little befuddled, a small warning bell was ringing but, with another glass, got ignored. A little later, I could see the bow of the dinghy. The warning bell was now a klaxon. Oooh...said I.....the dinghy's come loose. Oooh...so it has...she said......we can ask him to bring it to us. "Him" was an RS XXX with outrider and gennaker doing umpteen knots and, with a little gesticulation, he understood and grabbed the painter and pulled the dinghy alongside - expert piece of sailing. But, it wasn't quite close enough. Without further ado and stripped to ma knickers I dived in after it..........breaking the surface I realised a) ma knickers had gone and b) there was a 1.7kn tide running. I had to ignore shouts from herself that I should "get in it" as by this time a largish group of lasers etc were showing interest in this spluttering old bloke pulling a dinghy and the sight of a bare hairy arse...........anyway, I got it back and the little drama has given me a comfortable surplus of brownie points....

 

[jimi]

Re: Nae Troosers?

Not to mention The Broons, Oor Wullie or the Big Yin by McCormick! Does herself have any Photos?

Jim

 

[Twister_Ken]

Which reminds me

In the days before Sunsail we had a flotilla holiday in Greece (we being two couples, living in what was called in those days, Sin). Appropriately, our boat was called Mistress, which occasioned much ribaldry. Which has got nothing to do with the story. Another boat in the group was crewed by 6 young guys from Belfast, whose relief at escaping from The Troubles made itself known in the consumption of very substantial amounts of alcohol. It was our last night, at anchor off Skiathos Town. The crew of Mistress sought out a romantic backstreet taverna and did the requisite candlelit romance scene. Billy and the Belfast Boys repaired to the bar nearest the jetty and necked as much Greek beer as poss. And then had some more.

Fortified(?) with Retsina and Domestica we rowed back to the boat to create a few ripples on the tranquil surface of the harbour (those were the days!) and subsequently fell into a deeply satisfied sleep. During the night a breeze blew up whilst we slumbered on.

On emerging the next day it took a while to realise that we couldn't pop ashore for breakfast. No dinghy.

Shortly thereafter, one of the Billies rowed up, towing a spare rubadub.

(in dialect)
Is this bugger yours?

Looks like it

Ah well, we went ashore for a few last night and when Stavros wanted to close the bar we reckoned we'd be all right with six in the dinghy and rowed out. But the dinghy started sinking, so twos of us took of our clothes and jumped out and swum back to the quay. The others said they'd row back for us. So there we was, bollock naked, stood on the dock, and along comes our dinghy, with no one in it. That's clever we thought, so we grabbed the dinghy, jumped in and found the buggers had forgotten to put the oars in. So there's me and Paddy, one each side paddling away with our hands, and we'd been going about 10 minutes and weren't getting very far when Michael appears, rowing our dinghy"

After that, we had to buy them all several more beers!

 

[hlb]

After trying to read the road signs in Wales. I decided that us in Lancashire should have our own signs to.
Eyup = Halt sign
Ee by gum = Sharp bend.
Ecky pecky = Road narrows.

No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer!!!

Haydn