Jockish-English Dictionary

[Twister_Ken]

Time to compile one? I'll make a start

Ra = The
Bollockated = Vasectomy
Heid = part of the anatomy used for breaking the other fellow's nose.
Burns = Injuries inflicted by an exploding holding tank
Airse = part of the anatomy to which the above burns are inflicted.
Youse = 2nd person plural
Gobshite = Unpleasant personage such as harbour master soliciting dues, motorboater, etc
Mackerel = Mythical fish
Cauliflower = Object of great reverence, resembling the Scottish crown modelled in grey plasticine
Aboot = Half a pair of wellies
Fush = Piscean denizens of the deep
Grundies = Nether garments in Harris Tweed
Skiddies = Ancient clan markings identifying the owner of said grundies



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[claymore]

The Jermain Lairdy has expressed his distaste over the continuance of this "Sub-Burnsian" behavour and speak.
Kenneth I urge you to retract your most helpful dictionary in the interests of your own continuance and longevity as a member of the forum.

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Claymore
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[Ohdrat]

Claymore = boat with a conservatory and patio

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[claymore]

Henri-Lloyd Breathable ocean suit - something you don't need when you've a Claymore
Hypothermia - something you don't get when you've a Claymore
Pishedwetthru - Something you don't get when you've a Claymore
Stackso'frienswhenitspishindoon - something you get when you've a Claymore

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Claymore
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[Ohdrat]

fishlessinargyll = activity of hanging lines off a [Claymore]boat with a conservatory[/Claymore] generally in the rain and expecting supper to land on your plate/forums/images/icons/wink.gif

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[Sybarite]

The Laird's comments are Jermain to the feelings of most non-Picts.

John

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[oldgit]

any idea how to say "I am going to take a bath change my underwear and put on some deodorant as it is my birthday".

<hr width=100% size=1>Two boats please one here n one in the Med

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Alien concepts

"I am going to take a bath change my underwear and put on some deodorant as it is my birthday".

There is no Jockish for this, these activities are not part of the culture.. try asking an eskimo for Sunbathing in a bikini...

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[claymore]

Re: Alien concepts

Cannot be translated as the situation is unrealistic. If he was looking for a lumber - ( brief sortie with a member of the opposite sex) then there may be a translation. I cannot think of any self respecting Scot who'd have a bath because it was his birthday although circumstances might prevail if he wiz wairkin at ra pitheed the day.

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Claymore
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[jimi]

Re: Alien concepts

Oh I do'nt know "I'm aff doon ra Pallie fur a lumber."

Reminds me of a conversation between a posh Tory Minister and a Labour MP from the minefields (when there were some) having a shower in the House of Commons.

Posh TM " well at least we've got somethin in common."

Lab MP "whit's that?"

Posh TM " Well we're both used to having communal showers, me at public school and you coming off shift at the pit."

Lab MP "Weel ... but we could bend doon tae pick up the soap, but!"

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[Twister_Ken]

Pitheeds

Pitheed = Scottish politician much given to digging himself deeper into a hole of his/her goverrnment's making, viz Wee Johnny Reid and foundation hospitals

(Are there still pitheads north of the border? Precious few left in NE England)

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[claymore]

Re: Alien concepts

Does this bus go tae ra Denistoun Pallie
Ah'm lookin fer a lumber

In ra dancin' - he met Hairy Mary
The Flow'r o' the Gorbals

Weel noo, Mary - are ye dancin
Oh o no - is jes ra way ah'm standin

Doon ra back close an intae the dunnie
Oh o ho - it wisnae fer ra first time
Oh o o - it wisnae fer ra las' time
cod liver oil and the orange juice.


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Claymore
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[Aja]

Re: Pitheeds

I'm pretty sure that ther only open cast mining left up here. Longannet was the last and they ley it flood.

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[StugeronSteve]

Re: Ken\'s Concise Caledonian Dictionary.

Great stuff, can now understand the Jockish posts. Any ideas on the translation of "Shluff ye Crunge" constantly uttered by McBlaine, Reggie Perrins Scots Chef?

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