Iraqi Information Minister Weather Foecast

[Badger]

I don't know if you listened to a certain phone and fax weather service on Saturday afternoon. Were in Yarmouth in a F8 Gale when we dialed in and had a funny feeling of deja vu. Is it possible that the Iraqi Information Minister" Baghdad Bob" has got a new job at said dial up weather service, here is very rough edition of the message.....................

There are no Gales in the Western Solent .Never!"
"My feelings - as usual - there is only a F3 gusting 35knts (long gusts)"
"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of solent pub landlords."
"They're coming to surrender or be trapped on their boats."
"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"
"Be assured. Cowes is safe, protected"
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even
control themselves!"
"We are not afraid of the strong winds. They are
stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
"The yachties, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid,
silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."
"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in
appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are
pretending things which have never taken place."
"We have them surrounded in their harbours"
"The yachting press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more
lies!"
"Lying is forbidden in the solent. The weather service will tolerate nothing
but truthfulness as it is an institution of great honor and integrity. Everyone is
encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and
hearts."
"Now even as I speak Yarmouth harbour is under siege. We are hitting it from the
north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But
at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not
them who are besieging us."
"I triple guarantee you, there are no Gale warnings in the western solent."
""We have placed them in a harbour from which they can never emerge
"There is not even a strong wind warning [within] 100 miles [of Yarmouth]. They are not in anyplace. They hold no place in the Solent. This is an illusion ... they are
trying to sell to the others an illusion."
We will embroil them, confuse them and keep them in the quagmire. They have
begun to tell more lies so that they might continue with the perpetration of
their crimes. May they be accursed."

BLAH BLAH BLAH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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[johnsomerhausen]

That's nothing new... Don't you remember Alan Watts' article in YM some years back in which he described the dirty trick he played on the Weather Service ? Took down all the forecasts of wind speed and direction for (if I remember well) sea area Plymoputh and compared them with the lightship report of the next day. The forecasts were wrong in wind speed or direction 50 % of the time....
john

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[Twister_Ken]

Like the typo

Foecast indeed!

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[loonyscot]

You don't need bob for a dodgy forecast, when we were in devon/cornwall last week, the never changing forecast was "southwesterly force 4 to 4". What we got were either 0 to 1 NE, or 4-5-6 NE. Cant the forecasters even change their minds when they look out of the window?

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[Badger]

Seriously though, how can you have a F3 gusting 35kts ? It was a full on NE F8 which lasted for 6-8 hours. It was bad enough inside Yarmouth harbour but when I saw the state of the poor sods who had spent the night on the mooring buoys outside I felt quite lucky even though I had been up half the night adjusting lines/fenders etc. The lifeboat went out about 2.00pm Saturday afternoon as well I noticed.

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[Badger]

Re: Like the typo

That wasn't a typo it was a deliberate play on words (honest)

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