IRA Leasons For Kwackers.

[hlb]

You would not believe it, but about 11 pm last night, whilst taking the dog for a pee, I noticed the hose pipe dripping a bit, so put the pipe into my tank, thinking if it keeps dripping, it might thaw it's self. Well after about half an hour, I had one green light on the guage, then eventualy got full bore out the hose. So that was one crisis over. Strangly quite warm last night, but it's back with avengence now.

Anyway, the whole point of this whole cruise, was to give Mrs Kwackers a day out, and give kwackers some driving leasons. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif He's not used to proper boats with twin shafts. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif Anyway it went a bit tits up with Debs gammy leg and Mrs Kwackers not well either.

So it was again MF the hostpital ship, looking like she'd rescue'd the crew from the Bizmark, blood every where, and that's after a few hours cleaning up.

So back to the IRA leasons. (Kwackers knows what I mean).

Well first I shows him what MF will do. But he's not convinced, so gives me an RYA course manuver. Basicly turn round with out moving. So MF swings round like a top and I gawp at him, like is that it??

So Kwackers gets a go, at first he's a bit touchy feely and a bit arse over tit. But after a few minutes, he's got the hang of it. No spinning wheels round, or dabbing throttles any more, just the MF roar. As we left the testing site, Kwackers says. You dont need that round thing in the middle. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

So poodles back to Conwy and drops the hook for butties. Then looks up and the've closed the Fking gate. Looks like MF is being left out all lonly in the cold. Can you drop the gate, we ask. Nope, to cold. Ok, we'll camp out side the gate then.

When we got there he had relented and let the gate down, so waved us in and a green light.

Then it was Kwacker deck hand training. AAaaaaRggg. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


Time for another IRA course. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Damage report.

The brand new shore power lead is stuck in the gap between the finger and main pontoon in Conwy. Two spare shore power leads deployed at Conarvon.

MF's bog inlet and holding tank, having been deployed as the main Conwy dredger, is knackered.

The almost new carpet. (Beige) is now sort of pink and redish.

The locker needs mending.

The three year old Suzumar dinghy, that we'd hoped would last over the new year, whist davit hooks were attached to the new Avon, has failed. It's flat as a pancake again after reinflating all compartments yesterday.

Thanks Kwackers, between you and Mucky Farter, we got the show on the road. Just need to practice the Indian rope trick a bit more and remember MF dont work without much noise and smoke. Like any woman, she likes to show off. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Searush]

Cold salt water is good for removing blood stains. Not sure where you will find any tho'. Try a bit of pressure on the bog - I have heard tales that that sometimes works (possibly a little too well perhaps).

Just trying to help a pal you understand Haydn . . .

Happy New Year, & tell Debs to hop it. Sorry, only teasing, give her a hug better & another glass of something warming.

 

[hlb]

Used cold fresh water, even tough at a premium. Got good results round the saloon, but less so round the dinette. Need another go at tha, on the other hand, cant do it without heat on for a few days, or go all mildew.

 

[carlton]

Chuck water on it and sprinkle salt on it too. Then leave it a couple of hours at least. Mop it up with kitchen roll/dry clean rags and then shampoo it with carpet cleaner.

 

[Kawasaki]

There is A Curse on Mucky Farter.

The Curser on the New Plotter is Spasmodic.

'Curse this Thing' said the Skipper.
' Fag lighter should power it'

Spasmodic reply from Myself.
'Run out of Fags Skip ow yer fixed?'

'Yep 20 Bensons , usual Fee' replied Bligh, (oops hlb).
'Will that sort E?'

'Will do Cpn'

So with that , we set off to Conwy.

See, the normal Crew was sidelined due to an accident.
So Me and swmbo were going to assist.
swmbo as a Nurse and me as a 'rope chucker'
swmbo feighned illness (smart move it transpired) but I had the 'Black Spot' so had to join up.

'Curses' thought I ,but a Man has got to do what a Man has to do.

So first job was to 'let go' at Caernarfon.

Seemed a pretty ordinary task.
Then I remembered, MF was berthed in where an 18 footer should be.
4 miles of string were holding Her in.
'We usually cast that one off First 'said hlb Bligh.

Blimey, I was lost.
So I cast all and sundrey off and went to the Bow.
'We're still attached aft!' said hl B.
MF shunts back and forth and eventually we are away!

Next few miles it's all calm and loverly.
Cept the ships dog attacks the normal Crew.
normal Crew (Debs where do I post The Medal?) is trying to Converless.
Never the less the Show Must Go On.

Capn hlBligh is promptly adjusting the Fag Lighter.
The Fag Lighter? I hear You ask.

Yep the Power Source for the Cursor.

Part of the Return to Conwy is a Survey trip to go where Kwackers has never gone before.

IE the 'Channel'.
I normally take short cuts!

The Swellies is Benign and we take the correct route around Puffin Isle.

BORING!

Autopilot most of the way.
Got to admit hlBligh's autopilot is the dog's danglie bits.

Entering Conwy does show that the bouys have been moved since the lectronic gadgetts map was written---curses again!


Anyway prior to all this navigation stuff, hlBligh gave me a go on MF's helm agin.
She's a well behaved Girl.

And Bligh gave me a few tips.
Well, I don't mind smoking leftovers!
Keep the Bensons hidden till He aint looking!!!

We mucked about with Farter in the Straits were there is always a bit of flow to be found.
Fair play to the Beggar, He can spin Her on a Sixpence.
The trouble is gleaning a Sixpence out of Him!

My IRA Student would have been proud (hlBligh knows what I mean) the way He makes Her dance.

Farting about oopstairs on the Flybridge with Her twin shafts was a good education.


Time to have a Butty now.
This is were local knowledge and years of experience etc etc etc comes in.
'What der reckon to the Tide' says hlBligh?

'Ahhggh Bligh lad , were Ok for another Hour' says I
So we drops the Hook.

That was a good experience.
I now know the MF logistics of Hook Placement and retrieving too!
Debs-- yer could be redundant shortly, mind you the pay is crap if yer don't smoke!!!

We dined on Tongue butties!
True!
Bloody nice with mustard.
Yummy.
Then again, I thought-- Oh no!
Me tidal guess has not cut the Mustard.
Glancing forward the gates to Conwy showed 3 reds!

Oh Shite! we can't get in.
But the Marina -had decided to shut the gate prematurley.

hlBligh quickly checked His leccy gadgett-- this time the fag lighter conection worked and My guess (local knowledge, years of experience, intuition, IRA training, and sheer genius) was correct.

As We approached what was going to be M Farter's berth for the night, ie the waiting pontoon the Marina peeps decided to allow MF in and the lights turned to green.!

Now the instructions were flying.
What was going to be Port side to was Starboard side to.

I wondered why Debs was giggling!

'Shite' we are Parking on the other side

No probs Bligh can turn this on a Sixpence.

RYA instructor on the Bow.
Chucked the rope.
Forgot to hold the 'other end'!

Lot's of string in the water-- no attachtement to Pontoon!

Bligh Cursing and lots of throttle going on.

'Tha needs an IRA Course/ Curse Kwacker' /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Bligh knows what I mean!

 

[jhr]

Oh, for a "Fly on the wall" camera documentary team!

Or is that "Bligh on the wall"? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Great stuff.

 

[Searider]

[ QUOTE ]
'Run out of Fags Skip ow yer fixed?'

[/ QUOTE ]

There was a rumour that Kwaks had given up smoking. It's untrue. He hasn't. He just given up buying them.

 

[Philiz]

Okay, okay I give up! What's this IRA thing you're on about?? I can think of a few things but nothing that I'd dare put on here, and definitely not what HLB would like to teach Quackers!! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

 

[hlb]

Well it's sort of secret, as it involves an esteemed customer.

But RYA....IRA...... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hlb]

Well, MF is a bit magic you see. But also likes to show off, she will begrudgingly do things in tick over mode, but much preferred to growl a bit.
I've watched Kwackers with one engined boats and out drives, he really is a star. Can really make them perform and back them into awkward places. Yep he understands the one engine job. But as Kwackers said., twin shafts, he's a bit rough on. So gave him MF to experiment with. Should have charged him a couple of grand but no point, he aint got a wallet. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

So Kwackers get the hang of MF and says, this bloody thing dont need a bow thruster or a wheel.

So we go out past Puffin, not because we cant sneak inside. But because MF loves the sea and left the sealine doing the short cut, in her tracts.

 

[hlb]

The daft thing is, Debs Chrissy pres, the new dinghy. is still in it's box and brought back home. It's still in the car. Might bring it in the house tomorrow and blow it up. It still needs lifting eyes on though. So still has to go back to Colwyn Bay for attachement.

Think Kwackers still need another day at the Mucky Farter learning center, as I do at the, what you mean there was another buoy before this one center. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

No it's hard to teach folk used to skitish boats, that some just do what it says on the can.

Kwackers experimented with all the wheel and gear settings.

Only training now is, both hands on the two big handles. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif