If you didn’t eat it, don't flush it - Bollox

[Irish Rover]

It's Sunday morning so you can all have a laugh at my expense. I started another thread a couple of days ago about my buggered electric toilet pump. When I took it apart I realised what did the damage. I eat a lot of fresh fruit and 2 of my favourites, apricots and cherries, are in season here at the moment. I eat a lot of both, and I'm not a delicate eater. A couple of days ago I bit off half of a rather large apricot and obviously swallowed it without much chewing and realised too late I was swallowing the stone. As you might imagine eating a lot of fresh fruit has consequences, one of which is an urgency when nature calls. The call came while I was anchored out, and it was well and truly answered. Great relief, press the magic button, which makes it all disappear, then that sickening crunching sound, and silence. Of course the apricot stone was the first thing to enter the pump so when it stopped everything else was left in bowl.
So, the rule needs to be revised to
IF YOU DIDN'T CHEW IT AND EAT IT DON'T FLUSH IT.

 

[Fr J Hackett]

Shit a brick! Still could have been worse a high velocity apricot stone with a direct hit could have shattered the bowl, then you would have been in the proverbial in more ways than one.

 

[Sailing steve]

Ships rule # 4.

Whoever blocks the bog is solely and entirely responsible for whatever action(s) are required to unblock it.

 

[Blueboatman]

I was a tad concerned ( for the pump) at your second sentence .
Yup, I thought , that would do it too

 

[Irish Rover]

Ships rule # 4.

Whoever blocks the bog is solely and entirely responsible for whatever action(s) are required to unblock it.

Well, yes and no. If it's me then I unblock it. If it's anyone else, it's still me .

 

[john_morris_uk]

Well, yes and no. If it's me then I unblock it. If it's anyone else, it's still me .

I recognise that.

 

[Daydream believer]

Did you have lots of wine with it? In other words- were you completely stoned?

 

[Poignard]

Did you have lots of wine with it? In other words- were you completely stoned?

 

[Fr J Hackett]

Did you have lots of wine with it? In other words- were you completely stoned?

No he was destoned, lucky not to be dethroned.

 

[Poignard]

Being now extremely old, it's unlikely I will ever buy another boat but if I did, and it had an electric lavatory, the first thing I would do is to replace it with a manual one.

Its redundant wiring I would use to supply an illuminated sign reading:

"1. Move the little lever to the left and pump 12 times (or more if you like) to flush.
2. Move the little lever to the right and pump until the bowl is empty.

If you are incapable of performing this simple task, please ask the skipper for help.

When you have done that, go and pack your bags in readiness for disembarking at the next port."​

 

[ingenious]

On the first rental boat we had here, coincidentally picked up in the very village I am in now

 

[Poignard]

On the first rental boat we had here, coincidentally picked up in the very village I am in now

View attachment 194819

Perhaps I am being a little pernickety but I would rather pay £75 than eat soiled lavatory paper.

 

[Irish Rover]

On the first rental boat we had here, coincidentally picked up in the very village I am in now

View attachment 194819

Clearly the sign needs to be revised. By the way I would have gladly paid someone €75 to empty and unblock the toilet when this happened. I had probably eaten 2 or 3 kgs of fresh fruit since my previous dump .

 

[ingenious]

Perhaps I am being a little pernickety but I would rather pay £75 than eat soiled lavatory paper.

Soiled lavatory paper went in nappy sacks to go out with the rubbish. It was a very crude toilet system in a narrow boat

 

[Poignard]

Soiled lavatory paper went in nappy sacks to go out with the rubbish. It was a very crude toilet system in a narrow boat

I apologise for making a joke in bad taste.

 

[Irish Rover]

I apologise for making a joke in bad taste.

Not to be confused with a tasteless joke.

 

[Blueboatman]

Not to be confused with a tasteless joke.

No moving parts on a bucket - unless the handle snaps Oh oh

Not so much fun either

 

[KentishPirate]

Ships rule # 4.

Whoever blocks the bog is solely and entirely responsible for whatever action(s) are required to unblock it.

He who blocketh the bowl once, shall unblocketh the bowl, and whosoever unblocketh the bowl once, shall not blocketh the bowl a second time, sayeth the Lord. To flood the head, is to flood the World.

 

[Daydream believer]

Not to be confused with a tasteless joke.

My god . It is bad enough swallowing stuff without noticing it but you are tasting it after it has completed the passage now
That is disgusting. If you are really that depraved I have a Fray Bentos meat pie you could wash it down with