I hate botchers!

:D

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In a similar vein, I recall a mantra from a materials science course I once did: "If all else fails, use bl00dy great nails!", when dealing with the sticky subject of adhesives.
 
Similarly...

If you can't tie knots, tie lots.
Sorry no amount of messy tying does the same as a simple knot-two half hitches which my Dad taught me as a kid will hold most thingsall be it you may not be able to undo it;a bowline as well and you can do most things.
 
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