gonfishing
New member
I could not resist this, sorry if it's been here before
Medical Definitions for the Layperson
ANTI-BODY-- Against everyone
ARTERY -- The study of fine painting
BARIUM -- What you do when a patient dies
BANDAGES-- The Rolling Stones
BACTERIA-- Back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN -- What you are after you are eight
BOTULISM-- Tendency to make mistakes
BOWEL-- Letters like A E I O or U
CESAREAN SECTION -- A district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY-- Advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN-- Searching for ones lost kitty
CAUTERISE-- Made eye contact with her
COLIC -- A sheep dog
COMA-- Punctuation mark
CONGENITAL-- Friendly
CORTISONE-- The local courthouse
CONGENITAL -- Friendly
DILATE -- To live long
D & C-- Where Washington is
ENEMA-- Not a friend
ENTERITIS-- A penchant for burglary
ER - The things on your head that you hear with
FESTER-- Quicker
FIBRILLATE-- To tell lies
GENES-- Blue denim slacks
GENITAL-- Non-Jewish
G. I. SERIES -- Baseball game between soldiers
HANGNAIL -- Coat hook
HEMORRHOID-- A male from outer space
HERPES-- What women do in the Ladies Room
HORMONES-- What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid
ICU-- Peek-a-boo
IMPOTENT-- Distinguished, well known
INPATIENT-- Tired of waiting
LABOR PAIN-- Hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF -- A doctor's cane
MINOR OPERATION -- Coal digging
MORBID -- A higher offer
NITRATE -- Lower than a day rate
NODE -- Was aware of
ORGAN TRANSPLANT-- What you do to your piano when you move
ORGANIC -- Church musician
OUT PATIENT -- A person who has fainted
PARALYSE-- Two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL-- A reasonable way to go
PHARMACIST-- Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PLASTER CAST- The drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert
POST-OPERATIVE -- A letter carrier
PROTEIN -- In favour of young people
RECOVERY ROOM-- Place to upholster furniture
RECTUM-- What happened to the Ford Escort
RED BLOOD COUNT-- Dracula
RHEUMATIC-- Amorous
SALINE-- Where you go on your boyfriend's boat
SECRETION -- Hiding anything
SEROLOGY -- Study of English Knighthood
SURGERY-- A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply
STERILE SOLUTION-- Not using the elevator during a fire
TABLET -- A small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS-- Getting sick at the airport
TIBIA-- Country in North Africa
TUMOR -- An extra pair
URINE -- Opposite of 'you're out'
VARICOSE VEINS -- Veins very close together
VEIN-- Conceited
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Medical Definitions for the Layperson
ANTI-BODY-- Against everyone
ARTERY -- The study of fine painting
BARIUM -- What you do when a patient dies
BANDAGES-- The Rolling Stones
BACTERIA-- Back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN -- What you are after you are eight
BOTULISM-- Tendency to make mistakes
BOWEL-- Letters like A E I O or U
CESAREAN SECTION -- A district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY-- Advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN-- Searching for ones lost kitty
CAUTERISE-- Made eye contact with her
COLIC -- A sheep dog
COMA-- Punctuation mark
CONGENITAL-- Friendly
CORTISONE-- The local courthouse
CONGENITAL -- Friendly
DILATE -- To live long
D & C-- Where Washington is
ENEMA-- Not a friend
ENTERITIS-- A penchant for burglary
ER - The things on your head that you hear with
FESTER-- Quicker
FIBRILLATE-- To tell lies
GENES-- Blue denim slacks
GENITAL-- Non-Jewish
G. I. SERIES -- Baseball game between soldiers
HANGNAIL -- Coat hook
HEMORRHOID-- A male from outer space
HERPES-- What women do in the Ladies Room
HORMONES-- What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid
ICU-- Peek-a-boo
IMPOTENT-- Distinguished, well known
INPATIENT-- Tired of waiting
LABOR PAIN-- Hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF -- A doctor's cane
MINOR OPERATION -- Coal digging
MORBID -- A higher offer
NITRATE -- Lower than a day rate
NODE -- Was aware of
ORGAN TRANSPLANT-- What you do to your piano when you move
ORGANIC -- Church musician
OUT PATIENT -- A person who has fainted
PARALYSE-- Two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL-- A reasonable way to go
PHARMACIST-- Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PLASTER CAST- The drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert
POST-OPERATIVE -- A letter carrier
PROTEIN -- In favour of young people
RECOVERY ROOM-- Place to upholster furniture
RECTUM-- What happened to the Ford Escort
RED BLOOD COUNT-- Dracula
RHEUMATIC-- Amorous
SALINE-- Where you go on your boyfriend's boat
SECRETION -- Hiding anything
SEROLOGY -- Study of English Knighthood
SURGERY-- A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply
STERILE SOLUTION-- Not using the elevator during a fire
TABLET -- A small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS-- Getting sick at the airport
TIBIA-- Country in North Africa
TUMOR -- An extra pair
URINE -- Opposite of 'you're out'
VARICOSE VEINS -- Veins very close together
VEIN-- Conceited
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