Snipped - except for ..... golden rule ... keep the boat under the rig.
Everything he said is right, but keeping the boat under the rig is the key - steer to put the hull back underneath the mast, preferably just before the gust hits. Applies to everything from dinghies to big cruisers when offwind and on the limits of normal control.
pul the boom up high with topping lift,scandalize the main before turning up wind to reef
No you're not, not any more - we're all on-board with you! Giving conflicting advice! Any more gusts yet??
When stuck, effectively out of control, I quite like that idea.However, if you are in the close quarters situation you describe - hit by a gust and unable to round up without T-boning other yachts - one thing you can do as a short term measure is trip the main halyard. The sail will not come down – too much pressure – but the head of the sail will drop a little.
When stuck, effectively out of control, I quite like that idea.
Perhaps the only other action to help maintain directional control is to deploy a drogue.