How do you use a hole in the floor French toilet?

[Nostrodamus]

The other kind of French toilet we have come across is your worst nightmare unless you are a professional downhill skier. The foot marks are there for you to assume the skiing position but how do you know if your aim is straight and what the hell do you do with your trousers and underwear? Do you take them off all together? My personal approach is to half pull them down, holding on with one hand and use the other for balance, Rodeo style. Just don’t allow yourself to get thrown as you will end up in a whole world of ……………

The night-time approach is something I call the dam buster. It requires two torches front and back aiming down. When the beams meet over the hole you know your aim and trajectory are right, unless of course it bounces.

 

[KAL]

The best approach is not to use them at all...

 

[Bandit]

Firstly wear trousers with zip pockets.

Secure, mobile phone, wallet, car keys, loose change etc

Do a risk assessment as to whether knees after 5 mins in appropriate position will allow you o stand up.

Check paper supply.

Explore alternatives .

Also what is it with French proper toilets but often with no toilet seat??

 

[Binman]

Wear a skirt, no underwear., and flip flops.

 

[sailorman]

go into the disabled one

 

[nauticalnomad]

Could you not use the sink and push it down the plug hole with your fingers......

 

[mjcoon]

Firstly wear trousers with zip pockets.

Yes, rather than shorts with your comb tucked into the back of the waistband. (I originally wrote wasteband - Freudian spellchecker?). I lost several combs that way back when many Turkish toilets were of that design, until I learnt better...

Mike.

 

[fisherman]

Got to be one step better than the old Elsan, or Chemi- Karsey.

 

[sailorman]

Yes, rather than shorts with your comb tucked into the back of the waistband. (I originally wrote wasteband - Freudian spellchecker?). I lost several combs that way back when many Turkish toilets were of that design, until I learnt better...

Mike.

COMB are you bragging :nonchalance:

 

[DPH]

You're not in the showers are you?

 

[l'escargot]

What's a comb?

 

[Hambler Rambler]

Wearing ski boots makes it easier

 

[RumPunch]

When I was training in the RAF we couldn't figure why all the toilet seats in the block were getting broken - till we realised the Middle Eastern class also there were standing on them to do their business

 

[bush boat]

Wearing ski boots makes it easier

Complete with skis.

 

[Sandy]

View attachment 52085

That is a really posh one! Even got bog roll

 

[fisherman]

Complete with skis.

There is a story of an embarrassment for a young lady needing a pee while on skis: she went behind a bush, but the warm liquid lubricated the ski/snow interface and she glided gracefully from cover

 

[TQA]

A knotted rope attached to the center of the door is a useful accessories.

 

[EU_Cruiser]

Hoist the Jellabiya and keep the sandals apart. Isn't that how the whole of England do it?

 

[Behome]

Hoist the Jellabiya and keep the sandals apart. Isn't that how the whole of England do it?

Why not take your racist nonsense elsewhere?

 

[sailorman]

Many of our so called builders now stand on the seat for No 2s in a Portaloo