How do you “manage” 2-handed passages

If it's a straightforward passage, in decent weather, we are very informal during the day, then take turns at 2 hour watches at night.

During the day, I might do a bit of boat fettling, read, snooze, play my guitar, sing, look at my book of clouds, or book of birds. Plus running the boat, of course: keeping an eye on the weather, plotting progress (yes, I still like to put positions on a paper chart, and I still use Reeve Fowkes for tidal data), etc.

Ladin bed and Sandy also hint at other creative ways to pleasurably use the time.

At night, one of us is below, one on watch. The person on watch is always attached to the boat (ie harness is on with short tether attached to an inboard strong point). If they have to go on deck, they have to wake the other person. We find this helps the off watch person to relax and sleep.

I guess part of it is personal. I don't think either of us find passage making boring.
 
Much depends on how confident your wife is. I persuaded mine to do a day skipper practical without me around and she came back far more confident in her abilities. We've done countless 24 - 48 hour passages and 3 Biscay crossings. Don't have set watches although I tend to do the first night out, until daylight. Can leave her up top day or night, even when on radar in fog. Only problem is her physical strength sail handling when the wind's up. We just take turns to sleep when we feel the need.
 
Graham376 said:
Much depends on how confident your wife is.
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Only picking on this post because it's last; why do so many of us assume that our dear delicate little flower wife is the weak link in the chain?

Surely the sailing babes have dispelled this notion by now :rolleyes:
 
dom said:
Only picking on this post because it's last; why do so many of us assume that our dear delicate little flower wife is the weak link in the chain?

Surely the sailing babes have dispelled this notion by now :rolleyes:
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The reality seems to be that in 90% of older sailing couples, the wife is less confident/qualified/experienced on the boat.
I'd include in that one or two couples of my acquaintance where the wife is the one I'd trust with my boat....

Graham376's suggestion of the wife doing a practical course without the husband is good IMHO.
 
On night watches we ensure that the person on deck is clipped on, even in good weather. That takes one concern for the person below off the list.

Also when things are lively and you need to visit the loo, the person left may begin to panic. In that case you can heave to; things seem relatively quiet and you only lose a few minutes of progression.
 
Just to re-iterate that in my (OP’s) case I have no worries about my wife’s competence to stand watch or to call me if needed

My concern is more that she ends up cold and fed up and bored and therefore reluctant to embark on further long passages in the future. I need to keep her onside if I’m not to end up a solo sailor!

Hence unless one is is actually needing sleep we tend to be together in the cockpit during the daytime

Obviously (once retired) a lot of the time pressure is off and when appropriate we can coast hop and do it in small chunks
But there are times when geography or common sense dictate a longer passage

So far I really like the suggestions that the person on solo watch clips on no matter weather or time of day so person below relaxes

Also the use of audiobooks and podcasts sounds a great way to avoid motion sickness issues

Thanks to all for your contributions to date
 
I will probably get “keel Hauled” for my suggestion, but so be it – as I have been there!
You have some serious honest questions to ask yourself as you are coming up to retirement. Is sailing enjoyable 8 times out of 10 or are you fed up constantly battling foul winds and tides. Do you enjoying the thrill of downwind sailing with a spinnaker or is it just another worry? 15 hours sailing at an average of 5 knots and you will cover 75 miles give or take. At 15 hours worry starts to set in and can make thing worse in the queasy states. Maybe a different style of cruising may be worth giving a passing thought to. How about a pilot house style cruiser / motor-sailer where you can just plough ahead covering the miles and cutting journey times? Or even going over to the dark side and looking at a semi displacement motor cruiser.
Goes away to hide from the soft eye shackles being pelted at me!!!
But whatever you choose it still good to be afloat.
 
moresparks said:
I will probably get “keel Hauled” for my suggestion, but so be it – as I have been there!
You have some serious honest questions to ask yourself as you are coming up to retirement. Is sailing enjoyable 8 times out of 10 or are you fed up constantly battling foul winds and tides. Do you enjoying the thrill of downwind sailing with a spinnaker or is it just another worry? 15 hours sailing at an average of 5 knots and you will cover 75 miles give or take. At 15 hours worry starts to set in and can make thing worse in the queasy states. Maybe a different style of cruising may be worth giving a passing thought to. How about a pilot house style cruiser / motor-sailer where you can just plough ahead covering the miles and cutting journey times? Or even going over to the dark side and looking at a semi displacement motor cruiser.
Goes away to hide from the soft eye shackles being pelted at me!!!
But whatever you choose it still good to be afloat.
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I've asked myself the same questions!
In short i enjoy doing not sitting. So i enjoy the pilotage, the planning, the navigation, routing around other boats and obstacles, working tides and currents, sail trimming as well as all the off the water stuff fettling with the boat (some of which can be done on the water too!)
I dont enjoy (as a real-life example) setting heading from Falmouth for Guernsey and apart from an occasional weave around another vessel or minor trim of the sails and keeping a log, basically doing sweet FA for the next 17 hours other than look at the sea and try and decide if its a greater or lesser black backed gull I'm looking at!
But having arrived in Guernsey, (in this example) I absolutely love the challenge of the local pilotage and exploring a new area and my wife loves being somewhere different. Probably about 35% of our time "on the boat" (meaning our time away from home 'sailing') is actually not on the boat at all, but ashore. I guess for her it's more of a floating caravan although a great day spent sailing along the coastline with plenty in view is enjoyed by both of us.

I was curious as to whether we were alone in this outlook. I guess this forum tends to be populated by the more dedictaed sailors and so I may appear to be in the minority, but I rather suspect from some of the above replies that we are not alone in our views on this.

The title of the thread was carefully chosen. In my view longer passages are something that need to be "managed" and if that is done correctly they can be made less of a burden and more of a 'gentle pause' in the pace of life. hence the request for tips how best to do that!

HTH
 
I was in the same position as the OP twenty years ago. We managed it in various ways, such as:

Buy a bigger boat. This makes passages less tiring and a bit shorter.

Break long trips into day-sails where possible. If you do a 15hr trip and arrive in time for a night's sleep, you can do another next day, and still feel bright and ready to enjoy yourself. After a 30hr leg all I want to do is lie down for days to recover.

Borrow or shanghai a friend for long passages, even pay for their return fare. We did the 50+ hr trip to the Baltic a few times this way.

On our own we have done many overnight sails, I think the longest was Tresco-Cork, 24hrs each way, but as we got older this became less appealing. In recent years we have taken a week or two to do the Baltic visit, but I believe that breaking up journeys is the best way for many of us, and in the long run equally good progress can be made.
 
Generally no need to get cold, if the boat has a good autopilot and spray hood (with good clear windows or preferably Scandinavian style small windscreen). I tend to “stand watch” at night sitting in the companionway. Very rarely needed any oilskins, even in April and May.
I am generally able to read, but audiobooks even better.
When off watch I can quietlycheck plotter via phone and Wi-fi- so able to check wind speed, course, speed and AIS to reduce worry and avoid leaping on deck and worrying crew
 
Macd in #5 sums it up nicely.
When you start thinking of your boat as home. When out of earshot of R4 there are things to clean, mend, tidy.
You say that you worry about wife getting put off by sitting alone and getting cold, encourage her to shout if she needs spelling or let her do short watches of an hour.
You don't say if you have an autohelm, but using one leaves the person on watch to relax​ and move around to relieve stiffness and boredom.
 
dom said:
Only picking on this post because it's last; why do so many of us assume that our dear delicate little flower wife is the weak link in the chain?

Surely the sailing babes have dispelled this notion by now :rolleyes:
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Many wives are there on sufferance and, whilst liking the shore trips and social scene, don't enjoy the bits in between. In our case, she's the enthusiastic one and I'm getting bored with it.
 
Sybarite said:
On night watches we ensure that the person on deck is clipped on, even in good weather. That takes one concern for the person below off the list.

Also when things are lively and you need to visit the loo, the person left may begin to panic. In that case you can heave to; things seem relatively quiet and you only lose a few minutes of progression.
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It also avoids pee going all over the place! You can also make a cuppa without the risk of boiling water over someone.

We sailed two handed and SWMBO could not steer in blustery conditions, we were likely to gybe or tack violently which had associated dangers.
 
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Managing the boredom. I don’t find it boring on the other hand my crew complain I spend to much time drifting about at less than a knot.
I sail with my wife and I enjoy the company. Having someone to point out the greater black backed gull to helps.

I think we just choose to stay within our comfort zone.

I crossed the Hecate with a nice old chap. A rather eccentric bird watcher. I enjoy wildlife and birds but I got a real kick out of his enthusiasm for all the different sea birds we saw.
I found out we have 17 different varieties of gull on this coast.
Along with 4 or 5 difrent shearwaters . Shit hawks , ducks and sea budgies phalaropes

I am seldom bored.
 
Sandy said:
Oh I don't know, two people alone in a small boat with loads of time and no prying eyes about, I can think of all sorts of things you could get up to to alleviate the boredom, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. ;) ;)



Like learning to knit or learning that really tricky bagpipe tune on the chanter.
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And what was his reaction?;)
 
LadyInBed said:
Macd in #5 sums it up nicely.
When you start thinking of your boat as home. When out of earshot of R4 there are things to clean, mend, tidy.
You say that you worry about wife getting put off by sitting alone and getting cold, encourage her to shout if she needs spelling or let her do short watches of an hour.
You don't say if you have an autohelm, but using one leaves the person on watch to relax​ and move around to relieve stiffness and boredom.
Click to expand...

Getting cold can be lethal, I have found myself easily drifting into a deep slumber when cold on a night watch, even sheltering under the sprayhood.
On a fishing boat I was on (just 2 people), there was only a 4 minute spell before an alarm klaxon had to be cancelled by the helm. Bloody annoying, but it worked.
 
LadyInBed said:
Macd in #5 sums it up nicely.
When you start thinking of your boat as home. When out of earshot of R4 there are things to clean, mend, tidy.
You say that you worry about wife getting put off by sitting alone and getting cold, encourage her to shout if she needs spelling or let her do short watches of an hour.
You don't say if you have an autohelm, but using one leaves the person on watch to relax​ and move around to relieve stiffness and boredom.
Click to expand...

I guess it depends very much on what kind of person you are away from the boat. If you were stuck in the house for 15 hours, what would you be doing? Being on the boat does not need to be particularly different providing you plan and equip appropriately. Read, listen to music, watch a video - all are possible on the boat with a little preparation. And when all's said and done, 15 hours is not a long time. We have never crossed oceans - our longest unbroken passage is about 30 hours - I can understand that days alone in the middle of the Atlantic could get a bit trying for many people, but up to 24 hours should not really be a problem!
 
It depends on the passage - latitude=weather/length - and the boat. There's a lot of good advice in this thread, but the main ones I picked up on are:
- forget time
- be flexible in your planning
- buy a bigger boat if you can - they are less tiring to sail

to those I would add
- get a windvane

The first 3 days are the worst - my wife and I struggle to get through them till our bodies adjust to the watch routine, which is typically 3 on 3 off in the day. I do 2300 to 0300 every night, and we are flexible about watch handovers and naps. We alternate the cooking.

3 days is why so many couples fail after Biscay IMHO, apart from the obvious weather challenges. Again, time here is the factor - be prepared to wait for the right window and count down the 3 days (times may differ for individuals).

We watch boxed sets DVDs, one episode a night after supper. We read a lot and do crosswords together, taking a good supply cut out of newspapers beforehand.

We're in our 60s and recently did the Canaries to Barbados slowly - 23 days, not as part of an ARC nor as a lurking NARC - despite my wife having said that she wouldn't do long passages. She's fine now and we are discussing the Pacific. Previously I've done 39 days two handed from Salvador to the the Azores, learning to play the guitar en route - slowly on both counts.

Recently we have started using a Garmin InReach tracker which provides for inexpensive text messages, but what I do miss is regular news updates.

Good luck!
 
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