Grumpy old men complaints.

Entering Littlehampton with the ebb just away the engine stopped ,so Raced up forward and handed a line to a holiday maker who instead of passing the rope round the bulastrad of the pier as asked decided he wanted to tie it round the bulastradand tie a knot. ,meanwhile I was racing mentally through the reasons the engine had stopped I shouted at him to give us the bloody rope back …..he seemed to grasp the urgency in my voice ………and the engine started just by me looking at it …luckily🙂
 
We're a bit short of superyachts where I go, but I see your points. For my part I would add inconsiderate rafters. Even when we have managed to get them to tie up properly (= as I would wish) they more often than not use my boat as a mere gangplank, with no consideration to footwear or times of crossing. The ultimate disgrace applies to those who cross our cockpit.
I don't think there's any law against accidentally spilling a box of sharp tacks across your cockpit at night, a la Joshua Slocum. It's even conceivable that the upturned rakes on your cockpit seats were just waiting to be taken off to your allotment.
 
I don't think there's any law against accidentally spilling a box of sharp tacks across your cockpit at night, a la Joshua Slocum. It's even conceivable that the upturned rakes on your cockpit seats were just waiting to be taken off to your allotment.
A few little heaps of that ammonium stuff that explodes when disturbed would be fun too.
 
No one has mentioned the rocket launchers for fenders on many motorboats.

Another moan of mine is owners who leave halyards tapping on the mast.

The whine of a bow thruster means watch out inexperienced helmsman moving their boat. Get ready to fend off.

A slight aside is watching a sailing school boat with a novice crew and seeing one crew member wandering round holding a fender as they come into berth. Never see this on any other boat. I would find it very difficult to do as I sail singlehanded. Good berthing practice?
That Roving fender sounds like Elite sailing at Chatham. I think it is a way of keeping spare crew busy
 
That Roving fender sounds like Elite sailing at Chatham. I think it is a way of keeping spare crew busy
Correct. I was berthed across from two of their boats. It always made me laugh when I saw the poor crew member with the roving fender. Watching them being shown how to use a cleat and learning to tie some knots was also fun. Most of the very basics could have been taught on a video before they got onboard, giving aspiring sailors more time actually sailing.
 
Years ago now I recall a poor crew huddled down trying to tie a fender to the guard rail,apparently the instructor was a bit of a tyrant,in the brief minutes of intimacy he wished he could abandon ship😂
 
Something that genuinely irritates me - albeit I generally keep schtum about it - is seeing yacht crew leaping from a still moving boat onto a pontoon.

This is a dangerous and pointless exercise.

‘Sir, you’ll do yourself a mischief doing something like that at your age.’

‘Miss, your 50kg attached to a line is not going to arrest the forward motion of that 10 tonne yacht.’

Anyway, I suppose I would drive them to A&E if necessary. But they’d have to listen to the full lecture; not just this brief synopsis. :)
 
‘Miss, your 50kg attached to a line is not going to arrest the forward motion of that 10 tonne yacht.’
It will if she takes a quick turn around a cleat. Maybe she'll know next time.

As for the roving fender, especially coming into an unfamiliar marina with a trainee at the helm, I reckon it's a good idea, especially if they manage to get it between my boat and theirs when things are going awry.
 
Correct. I was berthed across from two of their boats. It always made me laugh when I saw the poor crew member with the roving fender.
I noticed what was presumably a school boat come into tobermory a few weeks ago and the crew must have been the British Veteran gynastics team as quite how three of them made that leap without anyone getting wet amazed me. The one person not in matching gear (so I assume the instructor) had the roaming fender - and a good thing too as they of course failed to get the boat secured before it arrived against the neighbour! I don't know how that was debriefed - but my instructor told me that if I hadn't put the boat close enough to the pontoon to step off that I had done it wrong and to try again.
Watching them being shown how to use a cleat and learning to tie some knots was also fun. Most of the very basics could have been taught on a video before they got onboard, giving aspiring sailors more time actually sailing.
There's plenty of content on youtube if an aspiring crew wants to do that but to learn tying knots most people need a bit of rope and a cleat etc not just to watch a video. If I remember rightly the comp crew when I did my DS actually did all of that whilst we were underway, so no time was lost?
 
It will if she takes a quick turn around a cleat. Maybe she'll know next time.

As for the roving fender, especially coming into an unfamiliar marina with a trainee at the helm, I reckon it's a good idea, especially if they manage to get it between my boat and theirs when things are going awry.
We always had two spare fenders handy when berthing our boat or going through locks, one on the foredeck and one in the cockpit; just in case one might unexpectedly be needed.

We called them the 'collision fenders'.
 
It’s so easy to sound like an “old git” but there we are…..last night, zero breeze, plenty of space, no tide, a school boat moored directly in front of us. The helmsman managed to get the boat within about 4ft of the pontoon, there were “gazelle like” leaps from two crew who landed with an almighty bang on the pontoon, whereafter they took a turn around the cleat and, on their knees, hauled the boat to the pontoon. Meanwhile another four crew watched from the deck urging their compatriots to pull. Just an awful example, surely the skipper should have insisted on another go around to show how it should be done? Presumably the trainees now believe that they saw how it should be done? It seems to me that the training skippers aren’t as good as they should be……I won’t go on.
 
Something that genuinely irritates me - albeit I generally keep schtum about it - is seeing yacht crew leaping from a still moving boat onto a pontoon.

This is a dangerous and pointless exercise.

‘Sir, you’ll do yourself a mischief doing something like that at your age.’

‘Miss, your 50kg attached to a line is not going to arrest the forward motion of that 10 tonne yacht.’

Anyway, I suppose I would drive them to A&E if necessary. But they’d have to listen to the full lecture; not just this brief synopsis. :)
I met a club member and experienced sailor in St Helier about ten years ago. He had arrived to be joined by his family and his crew was not a close friend. Approaching the pontoon, the crew member took it upon himself to leap over the pulpit with the bow line. In the process he caught a foot in the pulpit and ended up with a broken leg, time in hospital, and infected would and an ambulance flight home, and probably a very long period of recovery.
 
Correct. I was berthed across from two of their boats. It always made me laugh when I saw the poor crew member with the roving fender. Watching them being shown how to use a cleat and learning to tie some knots was also fun. Most of the very basics could have been taught on a video before they got onboard, giving aspiring sailors more time actually sailing.
I'm not involved with sail training so I do know how it is done, but it might well be a good idea for people to be given some basic homework in preparation rather than have to spend expensive time learning it at sea, though I don't doubt that good instructors are able to fit such stuff in without wasting time. We used to do a similar thing with our children's skiing, when we took them onto very boring dry slopes to learn the basics before the expense of going abroad.
 
It’s so easy to sound like an “old git” but there we are…..last night, zero breeze, plenty of space, no tide, a school boat moored directly in front of us. The helmsman managed to get the boat within about 4ft of the pontoon, there were “gazelle like” leaps from two crew who landed with an almighty bang on the pontoon, whereafter they took a turn around the cleat and, on their knees, hauled the boat to the pontoon. Meanwhile another four crew watched from the deck urging their compatriots to pull. Just an awful example, surely the skipper should have insisted on another go around to show how it should be done? Presumably the trainees now believe that they saw how it should be done? It seems to me that the training skippers aren’t as good as they should be……I won’t go on.
That's a shame. Sailing instruction moved away from that kind of thing more than 30 years ago. Perhaps the coach is stuck in a time warp for his dock warps?
 
Presumably the trainees now believe that they saw how it should be done?
Well we don’t know what discussion the instructor had afterwards about how to do it better and if those who were there listened and will try a different approach next time.
I'm not involved with sail training so I do know how it is done, but it might well be a good idea for people to be given some basic homework in preparation rather than have to spend expensive time learning it at sea,
I seem to recall there was some prep work - and obviously DS are expected to do the theory or equivalent first!

I’ve run training in other fields and even if you have tools in place to make sure the prep work actually gets done, the effectiveness is as variable as the incoming students who will all have different prior knowledge, enthusiasm, and learning abilities.
 
My favourite was the school boat coming alongside in Weymouth. When asked to throw the bow line to the guy helping ashore (me) they threw the neatly coiled line to me having forgotten to tie off one end to the bow cleat. The skipper was amused and bemused in equal measure - We decided I should tie it off at the pontoon and pass the line back to the crew and chalk it down as a lesson learned.
 
My favourite was the school boat coming alongside in Weymouth. When asked to throw the bow line to the guy helping ashore (me) they threw the neatly coiled line to me having forgotten to tie off one end to the bow cleat. The skipper was amused and bemused in equal measure - We decided I should tie it off at the pontoon and pass the line back to the crew and chalk it down as a lesson learned.
I was less than impressed by a tutor, young female, showing her students how to make fast to a shore cleat, with no round turn. I may have said something.
 
Correct. I was berthed across from two of their boats. It always made me laugh when I saw the poor crew member with the roving fender. Watching them being shown how to use a cleat and learning to tie some knots was also fun. Most of the very basics could have been taught on a video before they got onboard, giving aspiring sailors more time actually sailing.
I saw your boat in Chatham just after your big trip. I did a course with elite, too many chiefs and not enough Indians.
All 4 of us were doing coastal skipper, and 3 of us owned our own boats. We could have managed quite well with just one crew, so being told to do the roving fender was definitely a way of keeping a surfeit of skippers busy.
 
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