Greece charter - being asked to take another's child

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scrambledegg

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I'm planning a sailing charter in Greece in the summer with my wife, not sure which area yet.
We've invited a couple, good friends, who have a teenage (13/14 yo) son and have sailed with all of them before without issues.
They have suddenly asked if they can bring another teenager (presume boy) as company for their son who I haven't met.

Would you or would you not agree to this extra one?
If not, any circumstances/conditions in which you would?

your views appreciated.
 
My gut feeling is no as if it doesn't 'work out' its a long way home. There is a liability issue is that you don't know the boy and parents, and you are in charge of the charter and all on board
Years ago we used to take boys arranged by a school as part of a group with other boats in the Solent. There were also teachers involved so any issues quickly sorted but we never met the boys until the event and luckily no issues due to the teachers being around.
 
It's Greece so hopefully warm and relatively benign ... it's supposed to be a realxing holiday I guess. I've got three sons, now grown up, who have sailed since they were toddlers.

Boys of that age get bored easily, and without the company of other teenagers they can be a right royal pain in the arse. We often used to take their friends along for company. Teenagers on their own, hanging around bored and sulky are not much fun. Once there is more than one of them, they can bu**er off and explore leaving the adults to kid-free evenings and adult conversation. During the passages they can help and learn.

The other parents are ultimately responsible for both kids, and I would suspect that if they are suggesting bringing a friend along then concern about their son getting bored and spoiling the holiday may well be the reason.

Bringing a friend will create a balance between getting the youngsters interested in sailing and letting them (and the adults) have some free time apart as well.
 
Similar arrangements used to be commonplace but I would suggest that in the current litigious and blaming age you, or perhaps more appropriately - your friends, should cover their backs by having some documentation, signed by the kid's parents, giving them temporary custody and control of the lad, viz in loco parentis. I'm thinking in the case of a sudden medical emergency which requires a decision about treatment, or indeed of Greek officialdom - bit embarrassing if he was to be seized as an unaccompanied, child migrant!
 
Baggywrinkle said:
The other parents are ultimately responsible for both kids, and I would suspect that if they are suggesting bringing a friend along then concern about their son getting bored and spoiling the holiday may well be the reason.

Bringing a friend will create a balance between getting the youngsters interested in sailing and letting them (and the adults) have some free time apart as well.
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Kids need a friend to stop them getting bored, and equally so they can get into mischief together, and as you say, "The other parents are ultimately responsible for both kids".
If the OP is a boat owner he should suggest getting this other boy out in the water locally before a commitment is made.
 
Some good tips here.

I'd want to meet the boy and his parents, be clear (perhaps in writing) that the other couple have primary responsibility beyond yours as skipper, check he has an EHIC and adequate travel insurance. Further seek clarity on who would make any emergency decisions and ensure that the other couple understand if anything unacceptable happens, you have the ultimate right to expect his departure from the boat with them responsible for escorting him back to the UK, even if that means curtailment of their own trip. At 14, some explicit rules on alcohol might be needed.

In reality, he will probably spend the whole time sleeping, looking at his phone or swimming and you'll all have a grand old time with friends' son really happy to have a buddy.
 
Don't forget to ask about any medical problems, especially allergies.

I would suggest that the boys are given one of the RYA books such as "Go cruising" to encourage them to participate

And check that he is able to swim!

TudorSailor
 
Always a hard one.

If you are the named charterer of the boat and anything goes wrong - regardless that the other parents asked / said they would be responsible for the extra lad ... you are responsible. may sound a bit efficious ... but sadly in todays world - it could happen.

20 ... 30 years ago - doubt many would even think the question, but today too many things end up twisted and bitter. Good friends have turned on friends when things go south.

I agree with BW ... kids get bored and especially teenagers don't want to be with adults all the time - so a pal along is a good thing. But only if both are reasonable together ... the sweetest lad in the world can be a pain with another in tow ...
 
Yes, I'd be fine with that as long as all the details sensibly pointed out (EHIC will be no use at all, remember) have been attended to. I have taken a younger guest on my boat for a couple of weeks and it went very well.
 
JumbleDuck said:
Yes, I'd be fine with that as long as all the details sensibly pointed out (EHIC will be no use at all, remember) have been attended to. I have taken a younger guest on my boat for a couple of weeks and it went very well.
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Assuming we're talking a trip this summer, EHIC will still be relevant until the end of transition (31/12/2020) as long as we leave with a deal Reality Check: What will happen to the EHIC after Brexit? :)
 
As per the earlier post, a parental permission letter is essential, not only for emergencies abroad but to get past passport control in the UK - we were asked for one when we took our daughter’s friend away with us - she was 16 and looked older, which suggests it is systematic - anti-trafficking I believe- rather than just a ‘looks fishy’ hunch by a bored immigration officer.
 
As said, there is something to be said for giving the lad a companion. We often sailed with a companion for our son when he was 12-14, but we knew our son's schoolmate and his family. It all depends on whether you can get a proper introduction and get all the legalities, insurance and loco parentis stuff sorted to everyone's agreement.
 
Can offer you a "crew agreement" that sets out the terms under which people sail with you. We lived an ex pat community and sailed with a rag tag of people. Not least yoUngsters whlose parents we're frequently in another time zone or continent.
 
Refueler said:
I was going to make sleezy remark about on board arrangements ... but better not !!
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Without any sleaziness, it would probably be worth knowing if the proposed guest is a boy friend or a boyfriend. I'd be more wary about committing to taking the latter (or a girlfriend, for that matter) because teenage romances have an average life of about six weeks.
 
Refueler said:
Always a hard one.

If you are the named charterer of the boat and anything goes wrong - regardless that the other parents asked / said they would be responsible for the extra lad ... you are responsible. may sound a bit efficious ... but sadly in todays world - it could happen.

20 ... 30 years ago - doubt many would even think the question, but today too many things end up twisted and bitter. Good friends have turned on friends when things go south.

I agree with BW ... kids get bored and especially teenagers don't want to be with adults all the time - so a pal along is a good thing. But only if both are reasonable together ... the sweetest lad in the world can be a pain with another in tow ...
Click to expand...

Or the kid could just not adapt well to the boat and make every one else miserable.

Last May we took on a chap who was a friend of a very, very reliable crew member. He just couldn't take to life aboard, and claimed a phobia of public showers (I'm not making this up). The long and the short of it is he made the trip miserable for all involved. It was an extreme experience, but I'd never set out again without knowing everyone aboard.
 
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