Grand Sail of Assets

[Yeoman of England]

Goodaye All
Just a Thought?
Grand "Closing down Sail"
Get in quick - we are offering FREE radio checks with your friendly corner shop (Use 10 & and then cash in with head office & get 1 free) Please allow at least 2 hours for delivery.

FREE storage of your time expired pyrotechnics (TEP) Deliver now before the corner shop shuts.

We are also offering a FREE "Get you off The Buxey Sands ticket" this is only applicable if you can provide VERY accurate information.

ALL unexploded ordnance discovered below/above HW mark will be dealt with for FREE - providing you can tell us where Bugsy's Hole is.

ALL inflatables found floating around Ewarton Ness will be "needled"

We guarantee to find ALL missing persons & overdue vessels! (But this is a limited period offer - due to low staff levels)

ANYONE stuck on a Horse Shoal will get FREE recovery providing you can prove where you are.

ALL owners of a Stone Point, regardless of where it is, are invited into a FREE darts match to be held at our new sports centre in the South.
Please bring your own paper charts as the technology is suspect

Although our corner stores are closing, the new supermarket will be offering a 2 year local knowledge course. Of course this will involve serious personal commitment & training. But it will be free to the trainee. However the business sector is expected to contribute.

We have very, very few vacancies for "Visit's In" to our corner stores - so book early to avoid disappointment. (The next course at our supermarket has yet to be defined).Especially for our "Younger community" & "Old Salts Refresher" courses.

Apply early to get the latest Weather Technology - You will soon be able to receive it 24/7 on every channel known to man !!!

Due to popular demand we regret that we cannot answer DSC requests immediately - please join the queue - you call will be answered shortly along with other requests for assistance.

For a VERY VERY short time we offering a FREE instant Passage Plan Service.
If, due to popular demand, you cannot get through then please stay in the queue before you depart.

All of these very special offers are available for a limited period only.

Meanwhile until we close our Corner Shop chain we Wish You All VERY safe sailing, your Friendly Corner Shop

 

[sailorman]

can i have a "Back-Dated" get off the NEG free voucher please .
Oooo & whilst im at it one for the Dead Centre South Coast of Mersea Island & the top of Springs too

 

[FullCircle]

Oh good, can you dispose of those lousy Weather Forecast wrappers?

you know, the ones with 'Lifejackets - Eustace unless warm' written on them.


PS, now they have finished playing chess with the Crouch Buoyage, can you have a Lightning Grand Masters tournament out in the Estuary?


PS: You haven't got a lead on where to buy one of the Edinburgh Channel Buoys have you?

 

[LONG_KEELER]

Goodaye All
Just a Thought?
Grand "Closing down Sail"
Get in quick - we are offering FREE radio checks with your friendly corner shop (Use 10 & and then cash in with head office & get 1 free) Please allow at least 2 hours for delivery.

FREE storage of your time expired pyrotechnics (TEP) Deliver now before the corner shop shuts.

We are also offering a FREE "Get you off The Buxey Sands ticket" this is only applicable if you can provide VERY accurate information.

ALL unexploded ordnance discovered below/above HW mark will be dealt with for FREE - providing you can tell us where Bugsy's Hole is.

ALL inflatables found floating around Ewarton Ness will be "needled"

We guarantee to find ALL missing persons & overdue vessels! (But this is a limited period offer - due to low staff levels)

ANYONE stuck on a Horse Shoal will get FREE recovery providing you can prove where you are.

ALL owners of a Stone Point, regardless of where it is, are invited into a FREE darts match to be held at our new sports centre in the South.
Please bring your own paper charts as the technology is suspect

Although our corner stores are closing, the new supermarket will be offering a 2 year local knowledge course. Of course this will involve serious personal commitment & training. But it will be free to the trainee. However the business sector is expected to contribute.

We have very, very few vacancies for "Visit's In" to our corner stores - so book early to avoid disappointment. (The next course at our supermarket has yet to be defined).Especially for our "Younger community" & "Old Salts Refresher" courses.

Apply early to get the latest Weather Technology - You will soon be able to receive it 24/7 on every channel known to man !!!

Due to popular demand we regret that we cannot answer DSC requests immediately - please join the queue - you call will be answered shortly along with other requests for assistance.

For a VERY VERY short time we offering a FREE instant Passage Plan Service.
If, due to popular demand, you cannot get through then please stay in the queue before you depart.

All of these very special offers are available for a limited period only.

Meanwhile until we close our Corner Shop chain we Wish You All VERY safe sailing, your Friendly Corner Shop

Changes aren't permanent, but change is ............................

Wishing you all the best of luck. Despite what you might think at the moment, will probably be a great opportunity. It has been for many.

We will survive. As if we don't have enough stuff now. Will miss you though.

Will have to learn 't Yorkshire in broadcasts I suppose.

 

[Yeoman of England]

Grand Sail

Sailor
We only offer FREE recovery now for every 5 groundings - It is a closing down sail after all.

As to contents of the bx - wait until you hear the one for August !!!

Alas as the corner shop will only accept out of date flares at the moment, in the near future you can take them to the new supermarket, dig your own pit, stand back, light blue touch paper and then use gallons of fuel to get back home. Deep Joy.

On a serious note I feel sorry for the future incumbents, and there will be mny. Under the proposed structure there is LESS scope for advancement, and to progress even slightly a person will have to move at great expense to the public purse.
Thank you for all your comments & kind words - keep them coming

Happy Sailing, mine hunting, grounding, getting lost etc

Yeoman