Friday funny

[paulineb]

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that Lord?"

"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"

"Well.....you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. - You know, woman to woman."



Pxx

 

[longjohnsilver]

So where would you be without us....................................on second thoughts, don't answer that!

Another set of batteries, vicar?/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

 

[Col]

Oh Pauline, you're SO going to get a slap for that one <BG>

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/colspics> Cols Picture Album</A>

 

[paulineb]

mmmmm

please

Pxx

 

[oldharry]

Re: Oh dear.....

.....Winters here again!

 

[kingfisher]

"Now", says God onto man and woman, "I still have a few things in my bag to distribute. Let's see..... Ah, here."

"What is it ?" ask Adam and Eve

And God spoke: "It's a penis. And with it comes hours of enjoyement. You'll be able to pee standing upright. Difference in size will determine social hierarchy. It will be a symbol of your sexuality"

Adam started yelling excitedly "Mine ! Mine ! Mine! I want it, God. Please can I have it?"

Eve sighed and shrugged, God nodded and gave the penis to Man. Adam ran off joyfully, eager to go try out his new toy.

"Right" said God to Eve "Let's see then what got left in the bag."

"Ah....multiple orgasms"



Group of people on the pontoon: skipper is the one with the toolbox.
http://sirocco31.tripod.com

 

[Guest]

In the beginning God created Eve. And she had 3 breasts. After two weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How are things, Eve?" He asked.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them
on branches, snagging them on bushes, they are a real pain," reported Eve.

"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals, what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!" So, God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden, "Well, Eve, how's my favourite creation?" He asked.
"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small oversight on your part. You see all
the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram; the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you!

"Now, let's see ... where did I put that useless tit?"