Friday Funny - Your Final Exam - NB

Koeketiene

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YOUR FINAL EXAM

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer any five
questions you choose. Time Limit: One hour. Begin immediately.

1. HISTORY - Describe the history of the papacy from its origins
to the present day, concentrating especially, but not
exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious,
and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.
Be brief, concise, and specific.

2. MEDICINE - You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece
of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do
not suture until your work has been inspected.

3. PUBLIC SPEAKING - 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming
the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language
except Latin or Greek.

4. BIOLOGY - Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent
human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million
years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect
on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

5. MUSIC - Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it
with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6. PSYCHOLOGY - Based on your knowledge of their words, evaluate
the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed
frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of
Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support
your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making
appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

7. SOCIOLOGY - Estimate the sociological problems which might
accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to
test your theory.

8. ENGINEERING - The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle
have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find
an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes,
a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take
whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify
your decision.

9. EPISTEMOLOGY - Take a position for or against Truth. Prove
the validity of your position.

10. PHYSICS - Explain the nature of matter. Include in your
answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of
mathematics on science.

11. PHILOSOPHY - Sketch the development of human thought,
estimate its significance. Compare with the development of
any other kind of thought.

EXTRA CREDIT - Define the Universe. Give three examples.


<hr width=100% size=1>Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
 

dralex

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They really have made the Yachtmaster Exam more difficult- how the hell are you meant to learn that in 12 weeks?

<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.
 

snowleopard

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i found that one back in 1975! when i ran IT basic training courses i would post a course schedule including 'final exam' and got them to revise for it. on the last day i would serve up that paper and stand near the door to watch their faces. priceless.

the relief at not having a real exam meant that i never actually got lynched. and it worked - they actually did revise!

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Becky

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I've done that. Where do I send my papers. By the way what do I do with the tiger skin? The Aborigines said that even five loaves and some fishes were not enough, they are still hungry. Now they want to know how to walk on water/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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Colin_S

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8. ENGINEERING reminded me of this joke.......

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."


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