sailbadthesinner
New member
try this
<font color=blue>How To Get Ready For Sailing!
Sleep on the shelf in your cupboard.
Replace the cupboard door with a curtain.
Four hours after you go to sleep, have your mate whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble, "Your watch!".
Put a wall across the middle of you bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level.
When taking showers, switch off the water while soaping.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to high.
If your basement floods, during a sudden thaw, go down and start bailing.
Bring inside some type of diesel engine (lawn mower, portable generator, etc.), start, and leave running while trying to listen to favourite CD, or having an in depth conversation.
If the wind outside is howling, race around the house to make sure all windows and doors are secure (at night, everyone takes a turn on 'watch').
Place all non edible rubbish in small plastic bags, and store in other half of bathtub (edible rubbish to be thrown out of the window).
Wake up at midnight and have a peanut butter and jam sandwich on stale bread. Cold canned ravioli or soup, is optional.
Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in the cupboard, pantry, fridge, or freezer.
Once a month, pick a major appliance, take it completely apart, and put it back together.
Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot, and allow it to sit for 5 to 6 hours before drinking.
Put a fluorescent light under the coffee table, and lay there to read a book.
Every so often, throw the cat in the tub (hot tub, large sink, etc.) and shout, "Man overboard!".
Run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots, pans and dishes off of the counter onto the floor, then yell at the mate for not having the place "stowed for sea". </font color=blue>
<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>
<font color=blue>How To Get Ready For Sailing!
Sleep on the shelf in your cupboard.
Replace the cupboard door with a curtain.
Four hours after you go to sleep, have your mate whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble, "Your watch!".
Put a wall across the middle of you bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level.
When taking showers, switch off the water while soaping.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to high.
If your basement floods, during a sudden thaw, go down and start bailing.
Bring inside some type of diesel engine (lawn mower, portable generator, etc.), start, and leave running while trying to listen to favourite CD, or having an in depth conversation.
If the wind outside is howling, race around the house to make sure all windows and doors are secure (at night, everyone takes a turn on 'watch').
Place all non edible rubbish in small plastic bags, and store in other half of bathtub (edible rubbish to be thrown out of the window).
Wake up at midnight and have a peanut butter and jam sandwich on stale bread. Cold canned ravioli or soup, is optional.
Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in the cupboard, pantry, fridge, or freezer.
Once a month, pick a major appliance, take it completely apart, and put it back together.
Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot, and allow it to sit for 5 to 6 hours before drinking.
Put a fluorescent light under the coffee table, and lay there to read a book.
Every so often, throw the cat in the tub (hot tub, large sink, etc.) and shout, "Man overboard!".
Run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots, pans and dishes off of the counter onto the floor, then yell at the mate for not having the place "stowed for sea". </font color=blue>
<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>
