Figureheads

[Guest]

On a recent trip to London I was lucky enough to visit Cutty Sark and this has started me thinking about figureheads and what might be suitable for various contributors to this forum. I came up with the following:

Me - As the originator of this thread, I get first pick so I am going for Meg Ryan which rather decently leaves Jennifer Lopez for someone else!

HLB - Dora Bryan, ideally with a black pudding in one hand and an Eccles cake in the other

Matts - as an apprentice pensioner, I reckoned Babara Windsor (a full blown pensioner) would be quite useful. There would be the added advantage to this figurehead of twin rams should his failing eyesight cause him to hit anything.

Colin Maslem - Given his interest in white slaving, I thought Posh Spice as she has similar interests (e.g.her relationship with David)

JFM - As he is buying Italian, I thought Gina Lollabridgida or one of the birds on that Italian "Watch my wife strip bollock naked" TV programme.

Byron - One of the birds on that Italian "Watch my wife strip bollock naked" TV programme.

Martin - Given recent posts, he has no interest so a computer screen would be the ideal figurehead

Deleted User - Charlie Dimmock to help him avoid gardening. This figurehead would have to be carefully constructed so that the appropriate bits were able to swing free!

Any advance?

Nick

 

[jfm]

Re: TV guide

Alas the nearest JFM has got (vicariousness excepted) to buying an SIJ (sexy Italian job) is a recent trip to errr Corby. Which is not very near indeed. But Gina Loll very welcome aboard anytime, and thank you very much for such a demure allocation.

What channel is that program on anyway? I often watch Rai Uno in hotel TV but it always seems to be a blimmin documentary about robot welding in Turin aaaargh.
Actually a story you will appreciate being a HLBK partner, at Andersen's new office in Rue Ybry Paris they have a glitzy glass atrium-ish reception and on the wall is a massive bank of TVs, an array of maybe 6x6 screens at least, massive. Anyway they're all tuned to a different station. I was sitting there waiting for a meeting to start and on one of the screens, I'm deadly serious, was a german station or something with a couple shagging away, hammer and tongs. I tried to be British and not notice, the French of course were blase and commented to each other on technique!


JFM

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

Re: TV guide

The more interesting Italian TV starts after midnight. At least that's what I'm told 'coz I'm invariably tucked up in bed before then.

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

Yes, I can just envisage my CQR nuzzling into Charlie Dimmocks mooring bollards. No need for a bow fender, either

 

[Guest]

Re: raw deal

pah, I got blimmin ancient Barbra Windsor. Can't I have sophia loren instead? She'll do....wait a minute! These are all the same blimmin model! Nick's just doing a paint job like garden gnomes!

Time to go upmarket. I plan to commission a polished stainless steel dinghy crane modelled on the female anatomy. Wow. Erm I'd better go and lie down now.

 

[hlb]

Re: Figureheads And Body\'s !!

I fancy one of the birds on World Wide Wives Dot Something,
She seems to be ready fitted with fenders and some handy places for keeping the anchor winch handle and another spot where you can stick the spare anchor in too !!

I thought for Nick. Anne Robinson cos the names the same
and the scowl on her face should keep frightening all the raggy boats away and keep him out of trouble.

Its got to be Norra Batty for Matts. Cant think of any other
that could keep the bugger down.

Vera Duckworth for Colin I'm afaid, No good reason, but she could paint the ducks up the side of his boat and do the plant pots as well !!
Good Bye!!

Haydn<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by hlb on Mon Jul 2 19:16:01 2001 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[jfm]

Dear Leopard plse supply S/S erotic dinghy crane

go on, ask 'em....why not, it's fully included in the price!! So far, with BO HiFi and Simrads etc you're probly are nowhere near the "Dear Drr. Steadmanio, thank you for yr reequest, now pleeeze get-stuffed, ciao" threshold, but this dinghy crane would be the acid test

JFM

 

[Guest]

Re: Figureheads - stop showing your ages

Gina Lolobrigida - sixty if she's a day - and as for Sophia Loren she must be older than Lily Marlene by now.

Personally I would like something just a bit younger than my boat (built 1978) and a bit less wrinkly than the sail.

How about that lass Suzette who reckons she can be mistaken for Jordan and at the same time claims that women don't get enough respect?? Someone that confused would probably jump at the chance.

Actually my ideal figurehead would be Maggie Thatcher - not a wooden model - the real thing. If I had her strapped to the bow at least running onto the rocks would give me some element of pleasure.

Best regards )

Ian D