Fairline upholstery

So Benjie gathers all the bedsreads from the boat with FairPrinSqueaker logos. They're made of Brentford Nylons nylon and don't soak up the blood very well.

Mr WOLF (into phone) "It's a 1974 FairPinSqueakerChevy.
(pause)
White.
(pause)
Nothin', except for the mess on the flybridge"

Benjie: "Wolf, you gotta understand somethin. This is my boat, my dream toy."

Mr. Wolf "let me ask you a question, if you dont mind. you a millionaire?

Benjie "I was, till i got a boat, so no. No way"

Mr Wolf "Well, tcm is. If you were a millionaire I'm positive you'd have a lots of boats. Tcm is more than happy to help. (takes out a roll of bills). I like oak myself, that's what's in my Squadron. How 'bout you Benjie, you an oak man?

Benjie "Oak's nice"

Benjie is on the flybridge, picking up little pieces of skull and gobs of brain. He has a print off of tcm's post on how to clean teak, and two buckets of WessexChemicals teak cleaner. He mutters "I will never forgive mby.com's ass for this shiit. This is some furcked-up repugnant shiit!. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. I'm a boater and mby.com got me in the red. Redline, 2350rpm, that's where they're at. It's furckin' dangerous to be drivin' a flybridge boat when it's in the red. It could blow."

After a while, the fly was cleaned. Believe it or not, what looked like a marine slaughterhouse could actually pass for a non-descript cruiser. Mr Wolf examines it. Benjie stands aside, his clothes are literally a blooody mess

Mr Wolf: "Fine job. We may get out of this yet."

Benjie: "Fine job? I can't believe that's the same boat."

Mr Wolf: "Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. Phase one is complete, clean the boat, which moves us right along to phase two, clean you".

The Wolf takes out the transom shower hose, from its broken badly moulded grp compartment. "Strip", he says.

Benjie: "All the way?"

Mr Wolf "To your bare asss. It's the mediterranean, so what are you worried about. Look sthey're doin' it" he says, pointing to a crowd of gorgeous girls on the next boat, which has high OB factor

Benjie "Is this is absolutely necessary?"

Mr WOLF "You know what you look like? Like a forumite who went to an mby party and who just blew off an Italian exchange student's head. Yes, strippin' off those bloody rags is absolutely necessary. Here it comes... "

He turns the greeby Plastimo valve on. The water piddles out, slightly sprinkling Benjie

Mr Wolf (muttering) "Sodding FairPrin Sqeak plumbing"

Eventually they're done

Mr Wolf " Perfect. Perfect. We couldn't've planned this better. You look like...what do they look like, Mister?", he says to the passing marina security guy

Security guy "A Dork. He looks like a dork"

The Wolf laughs.
 
Geez, how did you manage to secure those pillows on the foredeck, are they sewed to the flat cushions below them?

The pillow cases were made with small white webbing loops and are tied with cord to the same s/s eyes that the flat mattresses are tied to.

The port pillow is a photoshop cut/paste of the starboard. Identical creaes, see? The port side actually had a big guy sunbathing when the photography helo came by, so I 'shopped him out :-)
 
I thort the point of a high OB factor was to have something to keep the cushions from blowing away. Could you 'shop in some proper examples instead of the fat bloke?
 
I thort the point of a high OB factor was to have something to keep the cushions from blowing away. Could you 'shop in some proper examples instead of the fat bloke?

Good point Vincent, BJB, whatever your name is... I'll get onto it! Just off to LIBS now...
 
Ditto the blokes at the helm

Should photo shop some birds at the helm also, looks very gay with three blokes in a row at the helm.
 
Sunbrella plus

As an follow-up , I tried the stain resistance test on a small piece.(thanks jfm for sample)

Couldn't get hold of Marvin, so I tried a mix of red wine (Claret) and that worst of agents.. Beetroot juice.

Left it on for 30 mins, then wiped off, then a flush with a bit of clean water
Couldnt see any trace.
See before and after ..
 
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