Divers beware!

msimms

msimms

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THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died
not from burns but from massive internal injuries.

Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set
about to
determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving
trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking
to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters
with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then
flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it.
One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next
he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it
just doesn't pay to get out of bed. This article was taken from the
California Examiner, March 20, 1998


<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Reminded me of that other classic divers funny. Apologies to those that have seen it posted here before.
Loads like this on urbanlegends.com and darwinawards.com/legends

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So here's what we do to keep warm: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, doesn't it? I've used it several times with no complaints.

When I get to the bottom and start working, what I do is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck and flood my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my itchy ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened. The hot-water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This
is even worse than poison ivy under a cast. I had put that hose down my back, but I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communications system. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and 5 other divers were laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 hellish in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to coat my ass when I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my [ah em!] was swollen shut.

We've since modified the equipment to filter out most sea creatures.

Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to squash a jellyfish on your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable.


<hr width=100% size=1>Err, let me know if Depsol enters the forum, I'll go and hide
 
this story was an episode on CSI on TV about 6 months ago.possibly more fiction than fact, unless the yanks are featuring true stories on there crime dramas now.

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It's an urban legend that's been doing the rounds since the 80's or earlier, sometimes based in S.France, sometimes in California etc

Years ago someone tried to find out if there was an inkling of truth, but no authority in any of the obvious countries had ever heard of it happening

<hr width=100% size=1>Err, let me know if Depsol enters the forum, I'll go and hide
 
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