Differences between the Sexes

Some "amusing" responses, but if you want a more considered reply, I'll do my best...
Most women experience sailing in the company of men, and this often involves the man/men being in the position of "expert" (a role that many take so naturally you would be forgiven for thinking gender equality was a myth!). In such situations, the woman will be treated as incompetent/purely decorative/fit only for domestic duties; in such cases it's hardly surprising that they don't like it. Add to this the tendency many men have to lapse into slob/student/tramp mode while afloat, and it's clear why, for many women, sailing is a one-off experience.
However, there are many extremely competent female sailors, and a large number of these choose to sail in the company of other women. When we do this, we get patronising comments from other crews about "where (or who!) is the man in charge?"!
I agree with the comment 'vive la difference', but I would like a man to answer the question, why do you think it's strange for a woman to object to a smelly heads, but expect her to keep the loo clean at home?
 
Re: Smelly heads

I think you're comparing oranges and apples here. I tend to be better at engineering-like tasks, such as mending the heads, so I get to do them. My wife, being more conscientious than me is better at domestic arrangements, such as cleaning the heads. In other relationships, the roles may be reversed, but I suspect that our way reflects that of the majority of couples.
At home my wife elects to keep the loo clean, it being part of the bathroom which she also insists on cleaning. On the boat, however, the heads is also a piece of machinery, which is the man's domain and which I try to keep functioning. She does, as at home, and as I do, clean it if it needs it, but if the toilet at home ever smelled like a malfunctioning boat toilet (or holding tank) can, I'd call out a plumber. On the boat, I am the plumber.
 
So far the one response I know to be true is that women don't like the boat heeling. In our partnership SWMBO is the helm when we race dinghys and obviously she hates the dinghy heeling (less speed) but dispite explaining the differences between keel boats and dinghys she hates the boat heeling.

I know the easy way is to accept it but I love to know the WHY?
 
Yes, Why?
It must be to do with the fear of it going all the way. Of course it doesn't help when the washboards and everything loose in the cabin crashes about, reinforcing their opinion that the world is about end.
Does it affect younger girls or is it an acquired phobia? Does it relate to not liking wobbling on high heels?

Just don't let them read Steve Goacher's hints on heavy weather sailing on Sonatas

" Well, it was a pretty windy day and we were hit by a particularly nasty gust. The boat broached and rolled to windward and we tried to hang on too long. When the masthead hit the water, the boat was moving quite fast and the sails were still pulling. The mast went into a really big bend and something had to give, so the spreader punched its way through the mast wall."

Steve Goacher's Hints
 
Well guys, as a woman, who lives aboard a cruising boat (with 20 pairs of shoes) you are quite right. I hate heeling but actually the boat goes faster if you sail her flatter. I really don't like tottering around the cabin at 45 degrees and it is totally pointess anyway, we are never that desperate to get anywhere really fast. I don't like getting wet, especially in cold water areas and I like having as many comforts as is possible within our budget. The plus for hubby, he gets to sail world wide and we enjoy our sailing together. Of course I get scared in bad weather, I don't know any real sailors who don't. I don't mind swells, you can't go anywhere if you are scared of waves but I prefer nice flat sea. Be nice to your wives, who knows, if you do, maybe you'll get to sail the 7 seas! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
Funnily enough, Mrs Beancounter is totally unfazed by boats heeling - it's me that has to fight the urge to climb up to windward and hike out.

However, don't get her started on the subject of "whiffy old boats"....
 
[ QUOTE ]
Funnily enough, Mrs Beancounter is totally unfazed by boats heeling - it's me that has to fight the urge to climb up to windward and hike out.



[/ QUOTE ] Amongst my (small i admit) sailing circle I don't know any women who don't like heeling. One friend loves it so much she's disappointed when we have to reef to get off our ear. She'd rather go slower and enjoy the thrill of the side deck in the sea. Whereas I do know of at least three men who aren't yet quite convinced that things will be ok when the toe rail hits the oggin.

I think that Wishbone hit the spot when she said that lots of women in sailing are there getting shouted at by their male partners. I suspect that would put most people off regardless of gender.
 
Re: shouting

Shouting at the crew is definitely one thing that would put my wife off sailing, and it is what puts me off racing. On most racing boats we see it seems to be compulsory. I was always taught that shouting at the crew is an admission that you'd failed to explain things quietly and properly in the first place, although I accept that this is a simplification in real life.
 
Re: Smelly heads

Disagree with you here . When my daughter was doing her Phd in Birmingham she was in a house with 3 males who refused to clean up the loo so she too it upon hereself to do it . The males were also impractical and useless with basic tools such as screw drivers and she did all the handy work around the house even fixing a washing machine .

The trouble with women is that they dont want to embarass their male friends so they hide their talents under a bushel.

I had a secretary however who when stuck in a lay by with her incompetent boy friend eventually got out of the car opened up the bonnet cleaned the spark plugs and drove the car away,
 
It just so happens I have been teaching some Lady's recently, One set is now working out how to get there respective partners to go out and let them play.
Another was a very very nervous mother and her daughter, the mother was so nervous that on a long trip from Weymouth she would not let her husband go to the loo until they were in the river to there marina, as she would not take the helm until then.
After a day spent just playing and doing man over board, Seeing her confidence grow during the day was wonderfull.
I really believe that in many cases it is the Lady's lack of confidence and knowledge that hinders their enjoyment of this hobby.
 
Re: Smelly heads

I didn't mean to say that all women are incapable of technical tasks, far from it. Nor that all men are capable of them, equally far from it, but if you take a random sample of engineers of any flavour, the overwhelming majority will be men. This is not for want of trying to recruit women, in my experience. It would appear that some skills are preferred by one gender or the other. Why? is another matter.
 
Re: Smelly heads

Spatial Awareness. Apparently it's a fact that women are not as good at tasks that require you to imagine 3D concepts.
So they aren't so good at parking cars, converting map information to the real environment , etc.
There are always exceptions and there is something that they are better at than men, but I can't remeber what.
Maybe it's memory tasks.
 
hi well i realy must agree with you as i fined it is much better to be up right too... my dear wife as been sailing with me for over 40 years we have been in some awfull weather over the years and shes been calm cool and collected. looking after 4 kids at the hight of neer diaster thro 60 kt winds and what ever. then one day out of the blue she droped her bomb/// and told me she realy hated// being any where neer a boat?// let alone on one any one got an answer to this one??? i told her it was fine we had had a wonderfull time together and i would sell the boat she would not hear of that 10 years later we are still going places i sail she flys ....and i still dont know what the problem was or still is she still sails if she wants too at other end and she seems too enjoy that ok.
 
hi yes i was refering to her she seems to me to be a very level headed lady and takes a lot of shady coments from you lot over there. but she gives back as good as you give her and you must admit shes got a good job. happy sailing dave
 
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