TEG
Well-Known Member
Whilst driving past a local lake my wife and I spotted a windsurfer to which my wife said "Look at that idiot out there on this windy day."
Did they really just say that!?!?
- Thread starter AyeSkipper
- Start date
fisherman
Well-Known Member
Talking of fishmongers Toby West ran a fish shop in Falmouth at the time of the cod wars. He put out a sign saying 'No cofd'.
"Toby, there's no 'F' in cod"
"That's what I keep trying to tell you".
"Toby, there's no 'F' in cod"
"That's what I keep trying to tell you".
fisherman
Well-Known Member
Off subject really, but my four year old son gazed up at the small coloured dots , climbers half way up the side of Cheddar Gorge,
"I think anyone who went up there would end up in the papers"
"I think anyone who went up there would end up in the papers"
TigaWave
Well-Known Member
Only this morning, friends thinking of getting a power boat were discussing the fuel usage/costs. After I had explained the likely fuel consumption on a 45' power boat they asked if there were filling stations between here and France and across the Atlantic so they could get to the Caribbean.
This will be their first boat!
This will be their first boat!
itsonlymoney
Well-Known Member
Well........are there ???? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
AyeSkipper
Member
Re: Being gentle with a newbie...
tcm, yes 364 is mathematically correct, but if you are doing a yachtmaster course and hope to pass an exam at the end of it it is advisable to get the basics rights. I beg to differ re getting degrees and such like wrong too, it is fairly important to be able to state clearly where you are if you are speaking to the CG, although listening to what goes on over our radio a lot of people do not have much idea and the CG must have the patience of a saint!
No, I did not mock him either and wouldn't dream of doing so, I merely thought it was amusing (though hopefully didn't show it?). I am a relative newcomer to boating myself and often use the wrong terms, but don't worry what people think of me.
It is human nature to laugh at others misfortunes/mistakes (reminds me of a line from Jane Austen?)
I would like to think the people took the post in the bit of fun that it was intended ...
tcm, yes 364 is mathematically correct, but if you are doing a yachtmaster course and hope to pass an exam at the end of it it is advisable to get the basics rights. I beg to differ re getting degrees and such like wrong too, it is fairly important to be able to state clearly where you are if you are speaking to the CG, although listening to what goes on over our radio a lot of people do not have much idea and the CG must have the patience of a saint!
No, I did not mock him either and wouldn't dream of doing so, I merely thought it was amusing (though hopefully didn't show it?). I am a relative newcomer to boating myself and often use the wrong terms, but don't worry what people think of me.
It is human nature to laugh at others misfortunes/mistakes (reminds me of a line from Jane Austen?)
I would like to think the people took the post in the bit of fun that it was intended ...
AyeSkipper
Member
itsonlymoney,
I am sure when I watched a DVD re Nordhavn rally crossing the atlantic that they passed a fuel ship somewhere across the Atlantic, though it sounds a bit far fetched so I maybe just imagined it javascript:void(0)
I am sure when I watched a DVD re Nordhavn rally crossing the atlantic that they passed a fuel ship somewhere across the Atlantic, though it sounds a bit far fetched so I maybe just imagined it javascript:void(0)
Major Catastrophe
Well-Known Member
A good first post with more replies to come, I expect.
My story is me giving a lecture to troops, discussing our war role. At the time we used the expression, "When the balloon goes up" to describe the thought and sight of scores of Soviet mechanised divisions making their way to the Channel ports in a nuclear firestorm.
At the end of the lecture I asked if there were any questions.
There was only one.
"Yes Sir, what colour will the balloon be?"
My story is me giving a lecture to troops, discussing our war role. At the time we used the expression, "When the balloon goes up" to describe the thought and sight of scores of Soviet mechanised divisions making their way to the Channel ports in a nuclear firestorm.
At the end of the lecture I asked if there were any questions.
There was only one.
"Yes Sir, what colour will the balloon be?"
PeteCooper
Well-Known Member
Many years ago when I was a mechanical engineering student in a class of about 70, one of the two female students asked why they were called male and female threads. The lecturer said that he would explain to her after the lecture.
Searush
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Many years ago when I was a mechanical engineering student in a class of about 70, one of the two female students asked why they were called male and female threads. The lecturer said that he would explain to her after the lecture.
[/ QUOTE ]
/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif sounds like a demo may have been needed!
Many years ago when I was a mechanical engineering student in a class of about 70, one of the two female students asked why they were called male and female threads. The lecturer said that he would explain to her after the lecture.
[/ QUOTE ]
/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif sounds like a demo may have been needed!
breezer5012
Well-Known Member
Great thread!
One boaty and 4 non boaty...
1. When looking at our fishfinder onboard, Max was amazed and amused that all the fish in the sea were swimming the same way. Excuse - he was 6yrs old.
2. On discussing the possibility of visiting the observatory in Glasgow for some star gazing, I piped up that as I worked full time, I could only make it in the evening.
3. A visiting professional to the school I work in asked what I do. When I told her I was the Speech and Language Therapist working in the specialist centre for children with severe and specific speech and language difficulties (all of whom are native English speakers and very intelligent), she commented " How bizarre .... someone with a Scottish accent teaching children to speak English."
4. Years ago I had a party in the garden for my birthday. My nephews were playing with a football which they repeatedly kicked into a magnificent azalea which was in full bloom. Each time, flowers went everywhere and the plant was starting to get damaged. I brought the party to a standstill by shouting at the top of my voice to the boys (aged 5 and 7) to 'watch my bush'.
5. On a trip to Ypres with the Royal Naval Volunteer Band, we drove past a car sales room with large flags on flag poles. They had TOYOTA printed on them. On approach they were flying nicely, but we were approaching them from the wrong side. Obviously I was the only one to notice this - my friend asked why the company had chosen to spell 'TOYOTA' backwards .....
One boaty and 4 non boaty...
1. When looking at our fishfinder onboard, Max was amazed and amused that all the fish in the sea were swimming the same way. Excuse - he was 6yrs old.
2. On discussing the possibility of visiting the observatory in Glasgow for some star gazing, I piped up that as I worked full time, I could only make it in the evening.
3. A visiting professional to the school I work in asked what I do. When I told her I was the Speech and Language Therapist working in the specialist centre for children with severe and specific speech and language difficulties (all of whom are native English speakers and very intelligent), she commented " How bizarre .... someone with a Scottish accent teaching children to speak English."
4. Years ago I had a party in the garden for my birthday. My nephews were playing with a football which they repeatedly kicked into a magnificent azalea which was in full bloom. Each time, flowers went everywhere and the plant was starting to get damaged. I brought the party to a standstill by shouting at the top of my voice to the boys (aged 5 and 7) to 'watch my bush'.
5. On a trip to Ypres with the Royal Naval Volunteer Band, we drove past a car sales room with large flags on flag poles. They had TOYOTA printed on them. On approach they were flying nicely, but we were approaching them from the wrong side. Obviously I was the only one to notice this - my friend asked why the company had chosen to spell 'TOYOTA' backwards .....
hlb
RIP
Whilst doing the Dazed Skipper exam. My Ex answered the question. What are the dangers to look out for between Deal and Dover.
She answered, Keep in the blue bits and off the brown, then you should be OK.
She answered, Keep in the blue bits and off the brown, then you should be OK.
benjenbav
Well-Known Member
OK, but non-boaty, I'm afraid:
Self, swmbo, architect and site foreman are stood in what was going to become our kitchen. It's second fix electrics time and the foreman says he doesn't think there's going to be enough light based on what has been installed:
Me: I think it'll be fine. There's quite a bit of light from the new windows.
Swmbo: Mmm.
Architect: Yep. let's move on.
Foreman: Not much natural light when it's dark outside though.
Me, swmbo + architect (in unison); Aaaaaaaaaah, yes.
Self, swmbo, architect and site foreman are stood in what was going to become our kitchen. It's second fix electrics time and the foreman says he doesn't think there's going to be enough light based on what has been installed:
Me: I think it'll be fine. There's quite a bit of light from the new windows.
Swmbo: Mmm.
Architect: Yep. let's move on.
Foreman: Not much natural light when it's dark outside though.
Me, swmbo + architect (in unison); Aaaaaaaaaah, yes.
leomagill
Well-Known Member
Another non boaty one.
A workmate who is into off-roading was going green laneing, when he asked a female friend if she fancied going 'laneing' with him she said 'is that the countryside version of dogging?'
A workmate who is into off-roading was going green laneing, when he asked a female friend if she fancied going 'laneing' with him she said 'is that the countryside version of dogging?'
JamesTT
Well-Known Member
Non boaty but a true very funny story.
Must be 15 years ago my Pal had agreed the sale of his very succesful Manchester based business to a blue chip PLC in a multi million deal, he had worked hard and was in his early thirties, he had agreed to take a mix of cash and shares which entitled him to a seat on the PLC board.
The group that he had sold to was chaired by a quite well known serial entrepreneur, a military type who at the time was regularly on the TV.
My Pal was invited to a celebratory dinner at a private gentlemens club in London with the board members with whom he had negotiated the deal and to meet the Chairman.
Whilst he was excited to be at the dinner my Pal's thoughts started drifting during the brandy and cigars to what he would be spending his windfall on, he picked up the tail end of the Chairmans conversation about his uncle having lost a leg at Waterloo.
He quickly jumped back in to the conversation saying that "he wasn't surprised, he had only just noticed today how tight the gap is between the train and the platform"
Can you imagine what the board members thought they had spent the money on!
Must be 15 years ago my Pal had agreed the sale of his very succesful Manchester based business to a blue chip PLC in a multi million deal, he had worked hard and was in his early thirties, he had agreed to take a mix of cash and shares which entitled him to a seat on the PLC board.
The group that he had sold to was chaired by a quite well known serial entrepreneur, a military type who at the time was regularly on the TV.
My Pal was invited to a celebratory dinner at a private gentlemens club in London with the board members with whom he had negotiated the deal and to meet the Chairman.
Whilst he was excited to be at the dinner my Pal's thoughts started drifting during the brandy and cigars to what he would be spending his windfall on, he picked up the tail end of the Chairmans conversation about his uncle having lost a leg at Waterloo.
He quickly jumped back in to the conversation saying that "he wasn't surprised, he had only just noticed today how tight the gap is between the train and the platform"
Can you imagine what the board members thought they had spent the money on!
pau1gray
Well-Known Member
Honey - I thought you would have posted the 'famous' sandwich story - or is that my job?
pau1gray
Well-Known Member
or even the 'famous' celebration story 
fisherman
Well-Known Member
There were complaints at the Parish Council about kids, (me and mine actually) using the zip wire on the playground late at night. It's between here and the pub. After much discussion the clerk gave us a withering look and said we should put up a sign prohibiting use after dark.....
PAULSTEWART
Well-Known Member
Many moons ago, my brother had invited his friend Brian to the boat for the weekend. After rowing out to the boat my dad said to Brian, "can you nip on board and tie up the painter"
His response "why, is he mad?"
His response "why, is he mad?"
SpringFever
New Member
When I was at college doing my Mechanical HNC we had an African lecturer for Structures. One day a friend of mine was wearing a tee shirt with Nike on the front. For the rest of the term the lecturer called him Nick thinking it was his name!