Did they really just say that!?!?

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AyeSkipper

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Newbie here so treat me gently. However I see some very funny posts on here so thought you guys must have some classic 'did they just say that' comments!

One that springs to mind with me was at a yachtmaster (yes, yachtmaster!) class last week, we were discussing adding variation, you know west, east, M or T. Some bright guy came up with adding a variation of 9 deg onto 355 and came up with 364 deg - doh!!

As I say, this is YM, not Day Skipper

What have you heard?
 
Discussing his new house, a neighbour said his doors did not fit properly.

He said it must be very difficult to get just the right amount of cement between each brick to make the doors fit right. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
We had non boaty friends on board and were chatting generally about boat maintenace etc and I said that the boat was lifted out of the water each year for antifouling.

The female (blond) guest asked how the boat was lifted out and I pointed to the big blue hoist in the distant yard.

"Oh" she said "How do they get that big thing down this narrow pontoon" /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 
On seeing a submarine go past this bloke i know said , you know those subs are just like icebergs
What do you mean
Well there is half of them above the water and three quarters below.
-------------------------------------
Or this one heard on the vhf from a broken down fishing boat at night
Hi its ------- here iam broken down with no power any chance of a tow
Aye where are you
Iam notrh of ----island
how far north
Oh you cant miss me iam right under the full moon,
 
Being gentle with a newbie...

um, well 364 is perfectly valid, mathematically? Yep, it's the same as 4 degrees.

Actually, lots of computers systems handle dates precisely in this fashion - they have a date handler which changes any calendar date into the number of days since (say) 1st january 1990, or back again. Thus handling a date-based transaction such as "in 30 days" or "15 days ago" is quite simple, as indeed was the changeover to year 2000. Some systems are quite happy to accept a date (say) "10 days from today 23rd October" as 33rd October - very easy to work out for a human - and the system's date handling of course changes the displayed date to 2nd November.

However, your post is interesting from another angle. You say you are a newbie, so - welcome! And you asked that we "be gentle"...well, maybe... because ...were you gentle with the person who said 364 degrees? Or did you laugh and mock him/her? I fear it might be the latter - hence your post? Oh dear.

It's not a huge issue - but the boating fraternity would surelybe a poor place indeed if people felt that their membership could only be confirmed by jeering those less knowledgeable or experienced than themselves, would it not? Yet I fear that there are many examples of precisely this sort of discouraging behaviour, sometimes even in the yachting press.

The mistake (altho as above, technically correct) of giving an angle as 364 degrees instead of 4 degrees isn't life-threatening. Nor are other "mistakes" of using non-boaty words like kitchen or parking. But these errors often provoke much muttering, sighing and rolling of eyes from others. Some skippers (actually, lots) even refuse to speak in other than boaty jargon: if crew look blank and they continue in the same vein, they are attempting to reinforce their knowledege and expose the crew's lack of knowledge. Not much fun, huh?

But boating is supposed to be fun, and if you're doing a yachtmaster then presumably you intend to skipper a boat sometime, and the "hah, wrong, what a nit" attitude won't much help, will it? Well, I don't think so anyway.

If your crew are less able than you they won't have a great time if you pounce on mistakes as with Mr 364 degrees. Well, okay, it would be okay to rib them a bit and say "don't you mean 724 degrees?" perhaps, make a joke of it. I hope that's what actually happened.

If your skipper a boat there will doubtless be people more or less able than you on board. I hope you'll help the less experienced. And if they know *more* than you - will you be ready and eager to learn from them? What if they jeered your (relative) lack of knowledge as you in turn jeered others?
 
A friend told me his mum was having an economy drive to save on fuel costs in the house and that in order to cut down on the draughts he must remember to put the toilet lid down!
 
I often park my boat, before putting the kettle on in the kitchen then using the loo.
We normally reverse in so the back is against the pontoon!
Drives a neighbout of mine potty! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
At our marina, one liveaboard on overhearing someone discuss the limited access around high tide, volunteered "Yes, unfortunately the tide only comes in twice a day here"
 
How about the Yacht giving a passage plan to the coast guard.............. when asked how many on board he replied,

"Four...Two adults and two females"

The Coast guard had difficulty finishing the message! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Tom
 
And of course my Dubliner friend's wife on hearing he was going pot-holing "Ah what do you want to go digging them things for?"
 
Re: Being gentle with a newbie...

Aha. But are you setting a good example? Telling AyeSkip to be gentle with those less able is kinda not being gentle. It's nearly the same as ripping into you for ripping into AyeSkip for ripping into Mr364. You wouldn't catch me doing anything like that.
 
Best one I heard was from a local tidal marina on the humber.
new manager, first day says to lock keeper we are going to make big changes here,firstly we are going to stop all this opening of the lock at differant times of the day, we will just open it between 9am and 5pm.


ians
 
Non boaty...............years ago whilst fixing a big commercial combi oven in a big commercial kitchen.
I had the thing totaly in bits, motors, thermostats, switches, wiring looms etc etc etc all over the floor and on top of the oven. Chef comes up to me and says ........................................................ "Is it fixed yet"

I was having a bad day so lost it and said something to the effect of "does it look ffffeing fixed you knob ed etc etc etc"
 
In a similar vein (vain?), I gave a lift to a guy walking back from the village to a caravan site we were staying on. "What field are you in" says I, "Electronics" says he. "No, I mean are you staying in the top field or the bottom one"
 
At Helford village there is a tidal ford at the head of the creek, one day at high water a Citroen 2cv came scooting round the bend and dived straight in. "Wasn't that deep last year" said the soaked and indignant driver.

I was just entering the harbour gaps when the chap at the fishmongers on the quay yelled across to me to turn my phone on: I pointed to the walls surrounding me, "no signal".
"But it's only here to there".
 
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