defra are watching you!

[Tintin]

How long ago was that, because there is no limit on wine. Customs try to enforce a limit but it is not legal for them to do so. You can bring in more as long as you can convince them you are not selling it. But if you import 20,000 cigarets you are unlikely to convince them it is for personal use.

It's posts like that which make me feel old

 

[Tomahawk]

First officer took myself and good friend over to France to collect the boat after we abandoned her due to bad weather and took the ferry... Of course there was a fish market nearby so she bought some fish to take home.

Well ... she gets get to Dover and Customs pull her over..

Madam we would like to have a look in your car, do you have anything you should declare..
No
Madam we would like to inform you that our sniffer dogs have noticed something
That will be the fish
Madam we are going to look in your car and it will be very bad for you if we find anything are you sure there is nothing to declare
Yes
Madam, we have found a suspicious package. Would you like to tell us about it
That will be the fish.

Customs man was not happy when he found the fish..

To cap it she had a high level security pass for going airside at the time as she worked at an airport. The next day same customs man visited the airport to check in a planeload of yanks... he recognised her straight away....

He seemed tomhave a sense of humour failure that day..

 

[martyn78]

Some time ago. Morris Marina time.

??? What's a Morris Minor ???

Try the immigration woman/official at Arlanda airport,
She can kill a thorn bush with a glance.
I always felt guilty when totally legal - and the day I smuggled in 10lb of sausage and 5lb of bacon.........

 

[PaulJS]

I pass through Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam quite frequently and am generally very impressed with the politeness of both immigration and customs.
Once the person in front of me was having a right whinge because he'd had to unpack his laptop... When it came to my turn I commented that he had shut up quite rapidly after a brief exchange.... The customs officer, an average sized Dutchman, ie about 6'7", said
"Oh I chust told him zat I have to wear extra large rubber gloves vhen I do a personal search"!
I must admit that even though I was behaving myself I did suffer an involuntary clenching sensation when I glanced at his hands... They were like JCB buckets!

 

[Bosun Higgs]

You might want to take that up with the professionals who spend their working lives visiting fruit and veg markets, abbatoirs, plant nurseries etc. Then they can give you their opinion of how well you do your job, if any.

You mean the ones that let in all those ash trees or previously let in the slops off a Chinese ship that gave us that pig disease outbreak?

As you enter through customs and immigration into New Zealand and Australia ther are bins in which you must dispose of sandwiches etc and in NewZealand there is a desk through which you must pass where you are questioned as what you are carrying.
I witnessesd a back packer wearing walking boots having his boots removed and checked over and being asked where he had come from.
Having said this I remember watching a programme in NZ about biosecurity where heavy earth moving equipment being imported from Thailand was impounded.
It appeared clean and shiny yellow but was full of all sorts of exotic creepy crawlies from the jungles of Thailand.

When I went into NZ I had hiking boots in my suitcase - the customs took them away, cleaned them and disi9nfected them and gave me them back. In contrast DEFRA want you to fill in a form. But then thats the approach of HMG isnt it? Pass a law, have people fill in forms and any problem has been solved.