Crew with limited mobility

petem

petem

Well-Known Member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
19,109
Location
Cotswolds / Altea
www.fairlineownersclub.com
My poor wife was recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (despite only being 53) so she's finding deckwork more challenging. I'm wondering if I can get her more involved in helming the boat whilst I do the ropes / fenders / anchor retrieval, etc.

Anyone else been through a similar experience? Got any tips?
 
a friend of mine was diagnosed with RA at around 30 ish, it took a few years of trying various RA drugs until he found one that worked reasonably well for him, but now he can manage the disease, its not like he doesnt have it, but he manages. everyone is different , but your wife may find that she can also get it under control and manage it with the right drugs.

With regards to the boat, I have no advice, other than swapping roles seems like a reasonable start.
 
julians said:
a friend of mine was diagnosed with RA at around 30 ish, it took a few years of trying various RA drugs until he found one that worked reasonably well for him, but now he can manage the disease, its not like he doesnt have it, but he manages. everyone is different , but your wife may find that she can also get it under control and manage it with the right drugs.

With regards to the boat, I have no advice, other than swapping roles seems like a reasonable start.
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Thanks, I hope so. As you may be aware, it takes a long time establish if a particular drug is working (6 months plus) so it's quite a painful process. Hopefully we'll get there in the end.
 
If I had bow and stern thrusters I'd seriously consider something like or along the lines of Dockmate wireless control. No personal experience obviously but if it does work as well as shown in the shows and videos it may be the answer to single handing.
 
I have RA - it typically comes on "randomly" in your mid 40s - which is what happened to me. At one point on a bad day I could not walk.

They start you on methotrexate ( costs nothing) but can have side effects. I was fine for 2 years then slept for 24 hours post each dose.

They tried various things that did not work so well and now I inject Embrel once a week. Cost to the NHS is £250 per jab, so to say I am appreciative is an understatement. I have been in total remission for 5+ years.

It is manageable, the main thing it to avoid joint damage at all costs. Once they are damaged reversal involved surgery - which I had on my wrist and was incredibly major - but to my surprise it was back on form after about 4 months.

I would make sure you have a very good rheumatologist - even going private if required - to find the combination of drugs that will work for her, and lets you go in at a moments notice if something is wrong. My NHS lady and accompanying nurse are simply brilliant.
 
jrudge said:
I have RA - it typically comes on "randomly" in your mid 40s - which is what happened to me. At one point on a bad day I could not walk.

They start you on methotrexate ( costs nothing) but can have side effects. I was fine for 2 years then slept for 24 hours post each dose.

They tried various things that did not work so well and now I inject Embrel once a week. Cost to the NHS is £250 per jab, so to say I am appreciative is an understatement. I have been in total remission for 5+ years.

It is manageable, the main thing it to avoid joint damage at all costs. Once they are damaged reversal involved surgery - which I had on my wrist and was incredibly major - but to my surprise it was back on form after about 4 months.

I would make sure you have a very good rheumatologist - even going private if required - to find the combination of drugs that will work for her, and lets you go in at a moments notice if something is wrong. My NHS lady and accompanying nurse are simply brilliant.
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We have private healthcare insurance but the problem is that some of the treatments (e.g. methotrexate) can only be administered / monitored under the NHS. This seems to mean that she need to see an NHS rheumatologist. She's trying to change treatments as methotrexate doesn't seem to be helping much.
 
It has never made sense to me the the male half of a partnership, generally being the stronger, helms while the female half has to do the physical work. We always did it the other way round so, if your wife is happy to helm, swap roles (if necessary or for confidence building - some professional own bat tuition might be an idea.
 
PlanB said:
It has never made sense to me the the male half of a partnership, generally being the stronger, helms while the female half has to do the physical work. We always did it the other way round so, if your wife is happy to helm, swap roles (if necessary or for confidence building - some professional own bat tuition might be an idea.
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Couldn’t agree more but nonetheless it is the reality. Boating (at least round here) is all about old ladies with boat hooks
 
Good point however mine would much rather do the lines than helm. In fact offering up the helm in anything other than the open sea for anything other than for me to use the head is met with a blank refusal. On the other hand once the boat has got a line on she is quite happy for me to jump down and take over the remaining lines while I instruct her what to do from the helm. I guess she is afraid of damaging ours and neighbour boats.

She refuses to drive my Landrover too. Got it wedged in the narrow Conwy streets with an inch either side, froze and refused to move despite having a tailback behind her
 
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Very sorry P to hear of your wife's health troubles.
In this respect, I can only wish you both all the very best for some effective improvements.

Back to your question, PlanB is as spot on as is Bouba's reply to him, imho.
It doesn't make sense that we (men) take care of helming, leaving the dirty (literally!) job to our halves, but that's by far the most common situation.
And in my experience, most women actually prefer to take care of deck duties rather than helming, which is something they are scared of.
A couple of very good friends of ours found a solution to that with their IPS powered boat, I must say.
The lady is quite happy to take care of the joystick, leaving the rest to her husband, and they always do a perfect job.
I read that nowadays there are outdrives powered boats which can be controlled via joystick for maneuvering.
No idea if it's retrofittable, but maybe worth checking?

My theory if that the main thing that women find scary is the lack of an immediate action/reaction effect, when helming boats.
Besides, they are often lousy at practical geometry (this also applies to parallel parking btw - even if, with cars, at least the action/reaction is very predictable).
I'm generalizing of course, and as with any generalization, there are exceptions.
But where technology can't help a lot, as it does with the joystick, the only alternative is patience and tuition - a lot of both!
And typically, NOT from ourselves.
Trying to teach our halves something (not just boat maneuvering!) is a recipe for being accused to be poor teachers.
Which can well be true, btw... :o
 
petem said:
We have private healthcare insurance but the problem is that some of the treatments (e.g. methotrexate) can only be administered / monitored under the NHS. This seems to mean that she need to see an NHS rheumatologist. She's trying to change treatments as methotrexate doesn't seem to be helping much.
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Methotrexate as with them all takes time but it is a vicious drug ( it is a cancer treatment and part of the mix for some chemo ).

Steroid injections tend to keep it at bay until it kicks in.

Also you need to be Nhs anyway as it is a chronic condition and healthcare will opt out in the end. They also won’t fund biologics which should be her aim if she can qualify. My nhs team are simply outstanding.
 
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