Crew that won't listen...arghhhh

[Tintin]

One ex girlfriend insisted that I said please and thank you every time I asked her to do things. And would then ask why I was asking her to do things (e.g. why should I release the sheet?). And she delighted in ignoring every bit of advice (despite never having been sailing) such as "one hand for the boat" (Splash), and "don't put tampon applicators down the heads". The latter got ignored in a rising wind mind channel at night and she managed to jam the heads valve and the skin fitting open - cue floods of water. She couldn't understand why I got a bit upset, blamed me for having a boat that she couldn't put the plastic bit down the bog, and sulked for days. That was the last straw, and when we got back to UK she got her marching orders.

OP - get a different one that likes you,

 

[wipe_out]

Some of these stories have been quite amusing and I think it's common with all "crew" (male of female)..

Not long ago I spent about an hour teaching my fiancee how to do a bowline, cleat hitch and clove hitch and explaining where each was commonly used.. Next time after she had to put the fenders out I asked her what knot she used and her reply was "The standard shoe lace!".. Had to laugh..

We are getting better at arriving and leaving from a pontoon though and have been trying different ideas.. We have a chat about what we are going to try and then put it into action.. If it works as planned that's great and if it doesn't we work out why.. Seems we have settled on getting the stern line on first then have the boat in forward to pull it against the pontoon and then sort out the bow line.. Opposite for leaving which also works well..

Of course I still haven't got her to stop throwing the ropes around on the bow which is what caused the OP's issues..

 

[boatingdave]

Blimey - after reading all of these comments I feel quite lucky. We (both) make the odd mistake or error of judgement when something doesn't happen the way it was anticipated but on the whole me and the missus make a good team and if she isn't sure she asks. Oh and if she gets it wrong I get grumpy but if I get it wrong then its always someone/something else that caused it lol (but thats a different thread)....

 

[Happy Dayz]

TBH the wife (married for only 45 years in July) and i get on really well even our best while on our boat. she has had both knee's replaced. Very succesful but no chancing leaping from or to pontoons or shore allowed by me.

I seem to be mastering the docking procedure roping from the cockpit with fewer mistakes, i use a legnth of 2" drain pipe to push off or get rope around a post, at a very slow speed and using the current is my 'trick',.

and anyway, whats all the freeking rush about?

 

[Sailorsam101]

With my lady I have got it down to a few simple things now.

I tell her which line to left of last or tie first....I tell her which side to put lines etc and she tells me when she is on or off the boat.

If she can do that...and not drop anything in the water I will be happy.

 

[wongaero]

If SWMBO can get back inside your boat from the foredeck, you could nip off and quietly rig all the lines ready to slip before even starting the engine? 'Here, you can do it all while sitting on the deck' seems to go down well...

 

[wipe_out]

Oh the other one I forgot to mention is apparently the sides of the boat are "Port and Starbucks".. Of course she doesn't exactly know which side each refers to either..

I usually rig the lines with quick release slip knots on the cleats before we leave so all she has to do is stand on the boat and pull the line then just put the rope out of the way somewhere..

 

[Montemar]

New to marriage as well I guess. First rule of marriage is that the husband is always to blame whatever happens and that is particularly true with boating. An argument won is a wife crew lost so the OP should have have buttoned it IMHO.

Communication breakdown and inability to manage the situation. I keep my big mouth shut and leave space for my wife to get the hang of things. I would rather have her along and quietly roll my eyes than do it on my todd!

 

[benjenbav]

Oh the other one I forgot to mention is apparently the sides of the boat are "Port and Starbucks".. Of course she doesn't exactly know which side each refers to either..

I usually rig the lines with quick release slip knots on the cleats before we leave so all she has to do is stand on the boat and pull the line then just put the rope out of the way somewhere..

Maybe an updated version of the old mnemonic: "Is there any Red Port wine Left" could be "Mine's a Starbucks Green tea latte, Right?"

 

[Colvic Watson]

All you guys with crew that won't do what you tell them to - ever thought of swapping and doing the rope bit yourself and the Mrs doing the driving?

 

[Sailorsam101]

All you guys with crew that won't do what you tell them to - ever thought of swapping and doing the rope bit yourself and the Mrs doing the driving?

Are you kidding...giving 8 tons of boat to somebody who refuses to touch the throttles...ever...!..but as she says its got a wheel so it must be like a car what harm can she do!!!

 

[wipe_out]

All you guys with crew that won't do what you tell them to - ever thought of swapping and doing the rope bit yourself and the Mrs doing the driving?

I think we have all thought about it but I personally like my boat in the water next to the pontoon not on the pontoon or in someone else's cockpit..

 

[Baseplate]

All you guys with crew that won't do what you tell them to - ever thought of swapping and doing the rope bit yourself and the Mrs doing the driving?

Have you lost all reason? Trust my 10 tons of pride and joy with someone who squeals and hides under the fly bridge console if a bit of a goffer comes over?

 

[lisilou]

Oh I can't wait for the day all your missus's read these responses. You're all gonna be in sooooo much doodoo. lolololol
L

 

[Sailorsam101]

Oh I can't wait for the day all your missus's read these responses. You're all gonna be in sooooo much doodoo. lolololol
L

There is zero chance of that...trust me...that said everything I say here I would say to her face...we are good like that.

 

[wipe_out]

Oh I can't wait for the day all your missus's read these responses. You're all gonna be in sooooo much doodoo. lolololol
L

I often tease her about the standard shoelace on the starbucks fender so I am safe..

 

[rafiki_]

I often tease her about the standard shoelace on the starbucks fender so I am safe..

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

and quietly roll my eyes

My SWMBO can spot rolling of the eyes at 100yds and its a capital offence in our marriage

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

All you guys with crew that won't do what you tell them to - ever thought of swapping and doing the rope bit yourself and the Mrs doing the driving?

Have you seen the way my missus drives a car? Even the dog refuses to get into a car with her and I'm not kidding. He actually waits to see whether its me or her driving before he decides whether or not to jump in the boot willingly or run away. So no its me wot drives the boat.

 

[Lon nan Gruagach]

There is, of course, only one real solution, she must have her own boat.