Crew that won't listen...arghhhh

[Sailorsam101]

Yesterday I did the whole fathers day thing and took my dad out for the day. He lives near Yarmouth so I dropped him off about 4pm ish.

Off he went with a smile and a bottle of whisky in hand.

All that was left was for me and SWMBO to slip lines and go.

No it must be said that she refuses to listen to me and thinks she can do it all in her own time and in her own way.

Every time she slips to bow line she does it from the pontoon and throws it onto the bow...I tell her time and time again not to do it..but no she knows better..can you see where this is going.

So the wind is blowing us off hard...I have the bow thruster just holding us on so she can get on at the stern and slip that line.

Yes you guessed it...she throws the line onto the bow...not take it to the stern like I have told here a hundred times. And off it all slides and straight into the thruster.!!!!!!

So there I am..bow being blown away onto a slipway...her screaming at me to do something...I recover the situation as the stern is still tied on.

The shear pin had gone..took me an hour to drill the old one out but fixed and off we went. Luckily I carry tools for just about everything onboard! Not that I can find them easily as somebody lieks to tidy up and forgets where things get put!!!!

So hopefully maybe now she will listen to me when I tell her which line to let go in what order and which to tie off first and which cleat on the pontoon to use...but I doubt it.

She was very quiet on the way home...which was a bonus I guess..!!!

 

[Mr Googler]

Look on the bright side, she'll never throw the bowline on again. Every cloud and all that

 

[BruceK]

You let her take the fall?!! You are new to boating aren't you! Christ I hope you don't need crew 'cause your boating days are numbered .... zero. Maybe you can revive the situation, tell her you're an incompetent and need things just so, so you dont get confused and make another frikup. Just sayin. Borne from experience

 

[Baseplate]

Shouting.

Lots and lots of shouting. The crew love it, even though they may appear indifferent and sullen, they thrive on it. Trust me.

 

[Sailorsam101]

You let her take the fall?!! You are new to boating aren't you! Christ I hope you don't need crew 'cause your boating days are numbered .... zero. Maybe you can revive the situation, tell her you're an incompetent and need things just so, so you dont get confused and make another frikup. Just sayin. Borne from experience

Yes I did let her take the blame...the other options are not to take her on the boat...she was..so stubborn that she refused to ever listen to what I asked her to do.....Wind blowing boat hard off...so she lets the stern line go first and wonders why the stern blows away from the pontoon...despite me telling her not to do it while she does what she wants!

I've taught hundreds of people how to sail and I always say no matter what geos wrong it's the skippers fault....but when you ask someone to tie the fenders on with a certain knot and tell you to shut up and they will do what they want..then guess what..you loose a fender...sorry but that ain't the skippers fault.

On the bright side she was quiet and full up last night from the massive slice of humble pie she had eaten all evening...but for me..once we left Yarmouth I didn't say a word about it.

She will get there and no harm was done...I think she will be fine from now on.

 

[alt]

You need a new wife. Simples

 

[Mr Googler]

You need a new wife. Simples

That's a lot more expensive than a bow thruster!!!!

 

[BruceK]

......I think she will be fine from now on.

You think?

mmm

 

[Sailorsam101]

You need a new wife. Simples

I'm not married...I tried that once...it was a stupid idea so won't make that very expensive mistake again!!!!

 

[dragoon]

"Every time she......". "she refuses to listen to me....." "I tell her time and time again......" "have told here a hundred times" "hopefully maybe now she will listen to me"

I fear you might not be taking the right approach - you need to sit down and have a gentle briefing before setting off, with a mutual understanding of the situation and possible scenarios. Just getting frustrated with her and repeating the same mantra over and over isn't the way to fix it I fear.

Has she crewed with others in the past? Or attended a competent crew course? Have you done any skipper training? Even if you can competently handle a boat it's good training for interacting and communicating effectively with crew.

 

[[2068]]

Force 5 blowing off the pontoon, from the stern.
Bow line is released by Mrs FP, and dropped over the rail onto the deck.
I can keep the bow in with the thruster while she sorts out the stern line.
She unties the stern line standing on the pontoon, and chucks it aboard.

8000kg of boat moves smartly away from the pontoon, with myself and three kids onboard.

Mrs FP makes a strangled cry to the effect of "Why did that happen": I say something slighly uncharitable and am faced with getting the boat back to the pontoon again to collect.
Of course, if I were to suggest setting up the line so that it could be released whilst standing on the bathing platform, that would be "micro managing".
So I agreed not to let the boat do that again - it seemed like the path of least resistance.

 

[wheelie]

Mine's the same. Saturday she tied the bow off how she wanted, I've given up showing her how to do knots, and as we're on inland waterways it's not critical. However she didn't pass the rope through the fairlead AGAIN. Thus ensued a row about how many times I had told her, which started the evening off well.

She also insists on untying the rope which is holding the boat against the wind or current first when leaving. Grrrrrr!

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

You let her take the fall?!! You are new to boating aren't you!

New to marriage as well I guess. First rule of marriage is that the husband is always to blame whatever happens and that is particularly true with boating. An argument won is a wife crew lost so the OP should have have buttoned it IMHO.

 

[pan]

Blimey I must have taught my wife too well.... she is the one who suggests that wouldn't it be better to set the stern line so it can be slipped from on board!!!!

 

[nauticalnomad]

Id divorce her... Its either your fault for not teaching her properly or all her fault for not listening.. Either way there is plenty of women who want to sail....

 

[Latestarter1]

In leisure boating the man driving with the woman doing the donkey work seems to be the norm, bit like the undoubted pleasure of riding a tandem together, the woman always has her head in the mans arse!

Perhaps one would suggest that your 'crew' take a more proactive role and occasionally take control of the helm when docking and undocking, that way you can handle the lines.

You take the risk that the 'crew' may eclipse your boat handling skills performing in an aura of calm, and they may develop a level of respect for your procedures.

Either way single handed boating is very limiting.

 

[Sailorsam101]

I'm afraid that without her glasses on she can't see much beyond the front of the bait and she won't wear them onboard...so she does not drive.

I've tried to teach her the basics of close quarters manoeuvring but she can't get the concept of wind and tide so gave up.

I said I would pay for her to get some lessons without me but she is not interested.

She still does say she could take the boat out herself without me being on it...but when I told her she must learn collision regs and basic nav...she said she does not need either of them and will be just fine!!!!!!

Basically she is bloody stubborn and is having a hard time admitting that she can't figure it out for herself and that he needs some instruction to pick it all up....she still does a granny knot for the fenders...and won't be told otherwise.

She will get the and loves being afloat. It all makes me laugh as I kind of am ready for whatever she decides to do or not do!

 

[omega2]

Is this a pleasure boat, or a Royal Navy ship??

Clap her in irons, stop her rum ration, or maroon on the Isle of White.

 

[Sailorsam101]

Is this a pleasure boat, or a Royal Navy ship??

Clap her in irons, stop her rum ration, or maroon on the Isle of White.

Tried all that..but she still thinks that this is all no different to driving a car..!

 

[shan]

I'm afraid that without her glasses on she can't see much beyond the front of the bait and she won't wear them onboard...so she does not drive.

I've tried to teach her the basics of close quarters manoeuvring but she can't get the concept of wind and tide so gave up.

I said I would pay for her to get some lessons without me but she is not interested.

She still does say she could take the boat out herself without me being on it...but when I told her she must learn collision regs and basic nav...she said she does not need either of them and will be just fine!!!!!!

Basically she is bloody stubborn and is having a hard time admitting that she can't figure it out for herself and that he needs some instruction to pick it all up....she still does a granny knot for the fenders...and won't be told otherwise.

She will get the and loves being afloat. It all makes me laugh as I kind of am ready for whatever she decides to do or not do!

Go on a course together and label it as a 'refresher' for your skills. Perhaps that way, she won't feel like she is being sent off to be taught something.