Cowardy custard

suse

suse

Well-Known Member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
12,986
Location
Cambridge
Visit site
How to put this? I prefer sailing with other people - being a sociable soul. However, part of this is because I'm weedy about sailing solo. I've done it once, and nothing awful happened. So, what's the best way (currently no boat, though - severe problem) to alleviate anxieties about being alone with no-one on hand to shout for? It's when things go wrong, I worry about - that's where I need confidence building. Because I'd like my own boat again.

S x
 
How about something to crawl the creeks with, so you build up confidence without going too far out.
I am sure with your miles and previous ownership that you won't be short of ideas when it all goes belly up.
If you are really concerned, carry lots of 'Orange' gear, have the boat vetted by the RNLI bods, and lodge passage plans.
A sail singlehanded, but in company with other boats should help too.
No shame in motoring either.

There lots of forumites in our area who would be glad to help.
 
[ QUOTE ]

A sail singlehanded, but in company with other boats should help too.

[/ QUOTE ]

now that's a really good idea. And a creek crawler. Thing is, I could sell the house to my advantage probably in the not too distant future .. and then ....

S x
 
You're not alone, neither are you a cowardy custard. You have a very developed sense of self-preservation, masses of experience, and an imagination. And you wouldn't have reached this point, today, without being a very good survivor !

There's an old phrase: "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain". To be fair it only works 99% of the time, and the remaining % is the risk we all take whenever we go sailing, whether solo or with others.

You can reduce the <u>feeling</u> of being alone by having phones, VHF, semaphore flags, aldis lamp, anything like that, to hand, but even in the midst of fully crewed boat, loneliness can stalk up and tap you on the shoulder.

Humans are designed to be social animals, so being alone is a learned skill, and like all skills it can be taught.

Do you want to be a real solo sailer ? Or do you want to be a solo sailer with an invisible link to backup ? If you are not programmed by genetics or experience to be able to face loneliness (which is different from being on one's own, or isolated) then there are any number of sources on the net which will offer guidance, and hand you a map to help you develop and improve your existing ability to be alone without being lonely.

Maybe you have already taken the important first step by asking on the forum. Seems to me that it would be a very foolish sailor who went solo without admitting to an occasional attack of isolation and to a sense of challenged competence.

Lots of other people will probably admit - as I do -, to being alone even in a crowd, let alone in a floating box out of sight of land. I can only say that when things do go wrong, one's proven sense of self-preservation and demonstrated ability to deal with unexpected problems will kick in automatically. You have succeeded on a much wider scale than sailing, and if you can beg borrow or steal a boat (even a really small one) to practise being alone (may be in near company ?) then all your extensive and proven sailing skills and knowledge of boat owning will be re-inforced and polished up, and will banish the fears of isolation and perhaps imagined inability to respond to problems.

Read up about isolation and the effects of solitude, and then practise being on your own- it doesn't have to be sailing. Coping with isolation is a transferable skill. You're a winner!
 
Golly - there's food for thought! Thanks for taking so much trouble - isolation - not too much of a problem.

Actually, hard to believe, but I live alone (with lots of family dropping in, staying over, etc) and prefer it that way - I like my own company. It's really when things go wrong - and something always does. That's why I like sailboats - if the engine goes, there are sails; if the wind goes, there's drifting; if rocks threaten, there's an anchor.

But it's also things physically beyond me - tying up while simultaneously steering foxes me! I know us wimin can multitask, but literally being in two or more places at once ... nope, haven't managed to crack that one yet. Still trying ...

S x
 
Another perspective might be that sailing alone one usually only endangers oneself. You can take risks that you might not if the lives of others are involved. Though nowadays I prefer to sail in company, when I was younger I did singlehand, was very eager to do so. When the going got tough I used to tell myself that there was simply no point in worrying or being scared as it just wouldn't help a jot. All I could do was try and remember everything I had learnt and keep going.
Beautiful sunsets at anchor are twice as beautiful shared......
 
I've single-handed a little in the past, and found the fear of what might go wrong was greater than what actually went wrong. It's good discipline as well, as you actually have to plan everything before you do it, there's nobody to quickly drop a fender or swap a mooring rope from port to starboard. Tying up is fairly easy, all you do is stop the boat alongside, before picking up the previously led fore and aft rope ends from amidships, and stepping ashore. If it goes to plan it impresses the hell out those around you. If it goes wrong you execute your previously thought-out exit strategy.... /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif . Or panic.
Whether the loneliness gets to you is a personal thing, I found the lack of company outweighed the freedom to go off whenever I liked, after a while. Sitting in the cockpit in a remote creek, glass in hand was great, but it's better with company.
 
You may have noticed a certain - how can I say? - restlessness - since I came back home. Hmmm - having confirmed what I already knew, that I am a mooching (UK meaning) sort of person at heart, it's hard to be put back in the old mould by family, friends, dole beasts, and of course myself. I'm not submitting - except this message, of course?

S x
 
Re: tying up

Yes, close quarters manoevers involving piers, pontoons or buoys are definitely the hardest (physical) part of single handing. Since you can't be in more than one place at one time the only solution is to have a system pre-arranged that can let you do everything from one place, usually the cockpit. This is not always easy to arrange, so some manoevers may have to be either ruled out or re-thought.

I moved from my previous marina (which mainly used buoys) mainly because of the difficulty in certain wind directions of picking up a buoy from the cockpit without ramming the boat ahead. It was very difficult with my then 22 footer and would have been impossible with the present boat. Since then I have thought of an alternative solution which involves approaching the buoy with stern into the wind (which is also quite a stable attitude), picking it up from the cockpit and clipping it to a tight line running between stern and bow cleats, then "walking" the attachment point forward, possibly using a line to a winch if it's blowing.

Coming into my pontoon I use a line from the centre cleat with a loop ready to drop onto the outer pontoon cleat using a boathook. This also has a line from the stern cleat long enough to hold my stern a foot clear of my neighbour. I come in fairly slowly and, after the loop is on the pontoon cleat, engage slow ahead. This keeps the boat held in position with the bow in, making it easy to arrange the permanent mooring lines (I normally leave mine attached to the pontoon) then, with engine out of gear, the stern line is shortened to bring the boat parallel to the pontoon.
 
Re: tying up

Don't worry - I'm already sh!tting myself at the prospect of moving up from 1.4 to 2.3m draught! Anxiously scrutinising my pilotage books with others on board or not!
 
I sail about half and half, either single handed or maybe with one crew member.
I enjoy both. Yes, as has been mentioned, maybe a bit more pre-planning is needed for single handing. When I'm on my own I perhaps tend to be a little bit more relaxed, ie I might just sail sedately along with the jenny rolled out, and be in no hurry. Out comes the radio with me in the cockpit... bliss! If I have a crew I almost feel compelled to put the main up and try to give them a little bit more of a 'thrill', but at least there is someone to talk to and to share the experience with, and there is an extra pair of hands when required.

Doug
 
Just to add to my previous post, some words of encouragement like others have done.
With regard to the coming alongside bit, depending upon where you would keep the boat, or indeed where your destination is, people are always more than happy to take a line for you. If you have a VHF or mobile phone with you, then use them to your full advantage. If I'm visiting another marina, particularly one I'm not familiar with, and I'm singlehanded, I'll always let them know this is the case (often before I even depart, so that they can find me a decent berth or at least be aware in advance of my requirements). It's handy to have their phone number with you too, as you can have a little bit more of a 'one to one' conversation, or at least you have another means of contacting them if you can't raise them on the VHF.

Doug
 
[ QUOTE ]
So, what's the best way ... to alleviate anxieties ...?

[/ QUOTE ]
I find that a large brandy for breakfast helps to put things in their proper perspective. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Not wishing to propogate the pedant thread, but shouldn't that be "Cowardly Custard"?

[/ QUOTE ]

Both versions in Goooooooogle!

/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

S x
 
[ QUOTE ]
Not wishing to propogate the pedant thread, but shouldn't that be "Cowardly Custard"?

I sail alone a lot. I'm getting the message.

[/ QUOTE ]
Sail alone a lot!! Hmmmm.
Delicate matter this, but there are various remedies
for Flatulence, Windeeze etc. If you would like any
further medical advice please do not hesi La De Da
De Da how do you end this sequence De Dum DE Dum
 
[ QUOTE ]
Only until sh*t happens ... but thanks, anyway!

[/ QUOTE ]You're not alone - at that point, everyone's making it up as they go - and usually far too busy to be scared until afterwards, and then there's nothing to be scared about!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top