Given the surprising depth of knowledge of matters squirelline displayed by the good folk of Scuttlebutt, how does this stack-up?
1. Capture one or more breeding pairs of carnivourous squirrels (CS)
2. Provide same with nuptial suite/labour ward/nursery
3. Train offspring to attack seagulls, and the various breeds of assorted purple-pooping avians
4. Rent CS to those owning boats with polka-dotted decks.