Brownie points

tome

tome

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 Mar 2002
Messages
8,201
Location
kprick
www.google.co.uk
I've discovered that Brownie points have a half-life of around 12 hours. This is borne out by the fact that they quickly fade away, therefore it's imperative to make use of them whilst still fresh.

I though I'd share this important research as it is especially pertinent to us sailors who generally need to top them up regularly...
 
Sounds like you have the latest carbon-fibre technology Brownie Points there. Mine last about 5 minutes with SWMBO.

Important stuff, Tome. Please give us details of your research methodology.
 
Research conducted thoroughly over several pints (sadly, only Gales at my local). However, the half-life reduces with age according to Pip who has gained considerable seniority if little wisdom.

5 minutes may say something about your age!
 
The law of limited returns must also be considered, SHMBO had me cut down five leyllandi deemed to be of no further use as they were going brown. This was no mean task and got me some serious brownie points yet after only three days away last week in the boat. I was confronted on my return with we (that means me) have got to do something about the rot in the garage side door. I fixed it but the weather has been lousy since what a waste.
Keep up the research
Trevor
 
How is it though, that the brownie point last 12 hours but the black marks last thirty odd bloody years. And they only tell you of them, long after you have forgotten. So no defence. And how come they can tell you exactly what you had for breakfast that day!!

No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer!!!

Haydn
 
There are rules, SWMBO will tell you them!!! I've never been able to understand them, but of course "I'm only a man" what would I know! I do know that there are no such things as brownie points, if there were a women would never admit it!
 
So, say the leylandii hacking earned you 500 BPs

After 12 hours, worth 250
After 24 worth 125
After 36 worth 62
After 48 worth 31
After 60 worth 15
After 72 (3 days) worth b****r all

Less than 10 don't count so no wonder she found you a new challenge

Proves the point - make use of them whilst they're still fresh, they're worth nothing in the bank
 
BPs are non-negotiable instruments, the value of which are fixed without leave of appeal. They can only be awarded by female companions, and their exchange rate is subject to lunar cycles.

I've heard that the best rate is obtained by a process called self-flagration. That is to say that upon receiving an award one might, in a supermarket, pick up a favourite Scotch only to return it to the shelf with a depreciating sigh. If this coincides with a particularly massive award and the moon is at its most favourable point, SWMBO may insist that it is added to the basket. Needless to say you will be paying, but SWM will feel that duty has been discharged and the BPs rewarded.

It goes without saying that the BP balance reverts to zero
 
Are they only awarded by females? this sounds sexist to me, not very PC atall! I will have to report it, NO! sorry, it's no good trying to bribe me! No!..............OK, a bottle of malt will do!
 
Bugger! Must stipulatre type of malt
Must stipulate type of malt
must stipulate tupe of malt
must stipulate type of malt!
 
Bugger! Must stipulatre type of malt
Must stipulate type of malt
must stipulate type of malt
must stipulate type of malt!
 
With these duplications it looks as though you have been partaking of malt already and will shortly be breathalysed by KIM!
 
Rules?

There are NO rules.. When will you boys get this! It's nothing like the off-side rule .. If you are so worried about brownie points.. chocolate brownies always go down well with a nip of the water of life ;)
 
Re: Rules?

I came across a set of rules a while back that seem quite applicable here, with a little rewording:

Rule 1 - the rules don't make any sense.
Rule 2 - get it wrong and you are in the doghouse.
Rule 3 - any questions - see rules 1 and 2.
Rule 4 - when it comes to rules, SWMBO has no sense of humour.

Is that close?
 
Re: Rules?

I have to complement you with a pretty advanced understanding of "The Rules".... for a man anyway! ;) your SWMBO must be an excellent trainer! lol

Oh dear I seem to be in contravention of your rule No.4 ...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top