Belloc

[Spuddy]

just cleared out a load of books so inevitable I started cluttering up again with more.
Found one of Hilaire Belloc : poet, journalist, politician (hmm, nothing good so far) and sailor. Contains the following as summary of his cruises,
"...threading out of harbours, taking the mud, trying to make further harbours, failing to do so, getting in the way of more important vessels, giving way to them, taking the mud again, waiting to be floated off by the tide, anchoring in the fairway, getting cursed for it, dragging anchor on shingle and slime, mistaking one light for another, rounding the wrong buoy, crashing into other people and capsizing in dry harbours."
I score eleven - so far.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Hence the expression of contempt "You're sailing like a load of old Bellocs"

 

[jhr]

Slight Fred Drift but I commend this book to you:

Do you think that "rounding the wrong buoy" could be described as a cardinal sin?

I'll get me coat.

 

[Achillesheel]

Am reminded of the Ronnie Barker sketch where the autocue was giving "o" instead of "e", hence

"Hilairo Bolloc"

 

[johnalison]

I've a soft spot for Belloc as he wrote the only poem I have ever been able to memorise;

We shoot the hippopotamus
with bullets made of platinum
because if we use leaden ones
his hide is sure to flatten'em

 

[billcowan]

The polar bear
is unaware
of cold that cuts me through.
for why?
he has a coat of hair,
I wish I had one too

 

[Ocean Hound]

Re: Belloc - yet another

A sundial makes a botch,
of what is done
far better by a watch

 

[Poignard]

"Whatever happens
we have got,
the Gatling gun
and they have not."

 

[Helina]

""...threading out of harbours, taking the mud, trying to make further harbours, failing to do so, getting in the way of more important vessels, giving way to them, taking the mud again, waiting to be floated off by the tide, anchoring in the fairway, getting cursed for it, dragging anchor on shingle and slime, mistaking one light for another, rounding the wrong buoy, crashing into other people and capsizing in dry harbours."

Sounds like mr. Bean on the water !

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Spuddy]

15 "events" in the extract. Anybody got them all ?

 

[Poignard]

I haven't capsized yet [unless you count capsizing a dinghy]