Being retired; painful

[ducked]

I grayed part of your sentence just because that's (imho, of course) irrelevant.
That aside, I don't think it's possible to answer your question with any ideal suggestions, because the "WHAT" very much depends on individual preferences/interests.
In my experience, it's the "WHEN" that is crucial.

I mean, as we get old, we tend to dislike changes, and try to avoid them as much as possible, sticking instead to our routines, whatever they are.
Nothing surprising with that, it's just part of the human nature.
The problem is that retirement, for most of us, is one of the most radical changes we must deal with in our whole life.
So, when you are in your 60s and you are still actively working, retirement comes as a shock, because regardless of whether you liked your job or not, by then it's so embedded in your daily routine that without it you feel like you're missing an essential part of your life.
Sure, having other interests can help to plug the hole, so to speak. But more than likely, you will still perceive the missing work routine as a hole.
The only way to avoid living with that sensation for the rest of your life is retiring as early as possible, when radical changes still aren't as annoying as when you're older.
In fact, they can actually improve your quality of life, not only in practice, but also in terms of perception/awareness.
To the point that if you will retire at the peak of your working career, say in your late 40s/early 50s, the change will be even more drastic at first, but rather sooner than later your only regret will be to not have done that even earlier.

Now, I appreciate that if you already are in your 60s, you can't turn the clock backwards, and my suggestion is as useful as a chocolate teapot - sorry, if that is the case.
But hey, you asked for suggestions, and this is the best I can give!

Be younger and richer, huh? His GP would probably endorse that one as well.

 

[ducked]

Retirement doesn't have to mean no work at all. I do some exam marking which I have been doing over 20 years. It's a twice a year thing and I intend to keep up with that.

How do you get that gig?

I'm retired from university teaching in Taiwan, but have only done teacher-training practice placements in the UK, so might not be qualified.

(Sorry for the diversion OP)

 

[Skylark]

I always held the view that I “never worked a day in my life” simply because I enjoyed my work (as a mech eng). Hence retirement, especially early, made me very nervous, “am I doing the right thing” and so on.

However, now in my 8th year, it’s undoubtedly been my best career move. The trick is to keep busy but as a boy at heart I have a lot of hobbies and interests.

I almost accidentally fell into commercial sailing, corporate, deliveries and both Shorebased and boat based instruction.

Like Mr Daydream, I’ve flown model aeroplanes for many years. This is a great hobby and a good opportunity to interact with like-minded people.

Not quite as active but I’m happy being underwater, I’ve been a diver for almost 40 years.

During Covid, I rekindled an dormant interest in amateur radio including refreshing my Morse skills.

I have a couple of Old Ford’s and I’m very actively involved with the Club scene, this takes a lot of my time.

I enjoy road running and also walking. I live in a convenient location to hop on a tram to walk around a pleasant, big city in search of a coffee shop. My addiction is coffee and have regular meets with friends to catch up and put the world to rights.

My only vice is spending too much time with a stupid smart phone in my hand reading forums.

Time spent with a good book or an adorable pussy cat is never wasted.

 

[lustyd]

I grayed part of your sentence just because that's (imho, of course) irrelevant

I don’t think it’s irrelevant at all. My partner and I just retired and we’ve been living on board and sailing ever since. We couldn’t do that if she continued working.

 

[Momac]

How do you get that gig?

I'm retired from university teaching in Taiwan, but have only done teacher-training practice placements in the UK, so might not be qualified.

(Sorry for the diversion OP)

The exam marking I do is for a professional membership exam.
It's necessary for the marking examiners to have passed the exam themselves, (which I did a very long time ago).

 

[Bouba]

The French have a far healthier attitude to retirement than the Brits....in fact they plan for it in university....retirement is their main goal in a working career. Workers spend their time ticking off the days....holidays are saved so they can be had before retirement day.
Many Brits regard retirement as a death sentence....and for many it’s sadly true.
It’s a personality thing to be sure....it’s suits people like me better than others. But the reality is that you never actually retire....you merely swap employers...whether it’s a boss, a corporation or yourself....your new boss is your wife. She will control the minutes of your day and will not tolerate slackness....you are about to start working for your most demanding boss ever.
But for now relax enjoy your time off...the wife’s journey to total dominance of your time is insidious....you won’t even know it’s happening.....poor sap. Oh, and welcome to the club

 

[potentillaCO32]

I’m fortunate not to afford to retire and my hobby together with a desire to make my family as comfortable as possible drives me more than ever.

The list of things to do is endless. Walking and camping, a project to work on at home, perhaps something you have always lusted after. How about a sailing adventure. A social hobby such as golf. Surfing, sport. If finance is not an issue then grab every opportunity to enhance your time.
Sailing for me has changed my life. My mental state and given me a sense of fulfilment.

We can do anything and everything if we go for it. Update us as to what might spark an interest and go for it now. Even a new job can work wonders.

Steveeasy

This hits the spot. For me, I am working a day or 2 a week doing something completely unrelated to my career.
Also refitting a boat keeps me busy and I try to cycle every day.
Very easy to see how people beyond 50 can let their fitness go.
One of the biggest indicators of mortality apparently is your VO2 max.

 

[stranded]

One of the best things about retirement is the freedom to do what you want, when you want. But that is also one of the most invidious things.

A stolen afternoon to go fishing during mayfly season was a magical thing when I was working. Now I can go whenever I want, but I hardly ever do, it has become humdrum, and there’s always tomorrow.

Sailing had to be done when we could, taking the conditions as we found them. Sometimes that meant staying in harbour, but even that uncertainty added to the joy in the good times by making them special. Now we wait until conditions are perfect, we go whenever we like and we stop when we like. It’s lovely. But it’s duller.

In retirement we can travel longer and further and likely more comfortably than we ever could before. But we cannot recreate the sheer intensity of survival on our wits and a dollar a day, or whatever. Or that precious fortnight away from the coal face, because you really needed that, rather than simply wanting it, and it was sharpened by the knowledge that it would be over oh so soon.

So my prescription is to remind yourself every morning that you do not have all the time in the world - you might not have very long at all. And if you need something more concrete, reintroduce some time scarcity into your life by doing useful (not necessarily for you) things.

Pastimes, pah - like magazines in the dentists waiting room. But do leave some time to watch the AC YouTubes - you’ve earned it!

 

[Babylon]

Kill the TV! Get out the house! Prioritise regular social contact.

Get and train a puppy (properly or not at all).
Volunteer - kids clubs, old people stuff, sick people stuff, sports clubs, other charity stuff.
Learn something new or brush up on things you've done before - language, craft, art classes.
Take up a hobby, e.g. build and fly RC aircraft (slope and thermal soaring closest to 'sailing' skills).

Boat stuff is effectively a non-activity for the dark and cold half of each year.

What were your working skills? Are they transferrable, and where?

 

[Bouba]

Start the morning with a cable tv news show….one that makes you angry…start the day pissed off at the world.
Never volunteer…don’t offer to pick up your wife from work…or do the shopping or the lawn mowing….or these jobs will be yours for life. You will be assigned tasks…just wait for it to happen don’t jump the gun.

 

[Stemar]

The first thing, I'd say, is to volunteer for something. There are any number of organisations that need help - driving, teaching older people computer skills, working in a shop, etc. You have good DIY skills, is there a group near you that could use those skills?

Study? Open University or U3A

Am Dram? Those DIY skills would be handy for set building

 

[wonkywinch]

... the reality is that you never actually retire....you merely swap employers...whether it’s a boss, a corporation or yourself....your new boss is your wife. She will control the minutes of your day and will not tolerate slackness....you are about to start working for your most demanding boss ever.
But for now relax enjoy your time off...the wife’s journey to total dominance of your time is insidious....you won’t even know it’s happening.....poor sap. Oh, and welcome to the club

Been there, got the t shirt

 

[Mataji]

GO SAILING! Sail solo or invite some mates as crew, or offer yourself as crew. I retired when I was 60, my wife continued working for the next 13 years, I never sailed as much as in those years.

 

[dansaskip]

When I retired I just got on my boat and sailed from UK to New Zealand. That kept me occupied.

 

[WoodyP]

And to do that on a pension?

Mind boggles… make that shudders… at what would be on offer!

Could become a gigolo to wealthy widows.

 

[Bouba]

To be serious for a moment......some people don’t adapt....they can’t stop work....they can only holiday in the same spot...they can’t buy an EV.....etc etc
You have to realize that life isn’t a continuation....it’s about stages. Our grandfathers worked from age of 14 until just before their death for the same company...drank at the same pub went to the same seaside town....stayed with the same group of people all their lives.
Young people don’t have those attachments...they lease cars, not own them....a job is something they’d rather do from home...even if it’s less money. And they will go to any corner of the globe for a batchelor party.
We obviously are a transitional generation...some transition quicker than others. But the important thing is not to dwell on things, avoid depression at all costs....you are not wasting your time....you are enjoying it

 

[benjenbav]

My expectations for retirement were that I would sit in a corner for a while and that after six months or so someone would notice an even more unusual smell than normal and call the undertaker.

As a consequence I was not motivated to retire.

Having been retired three years now I have changed my mind. I find plenty to amuse and engage me and, looking back, paid work seems no more than that: a means to pay the bills. Yes, I enjoyed doing it, but now I enjoy other things.

 

[ylop]

Get and train a puppy

I’m sure that is a good idea for some, but those we know who did this seem to find them a bind. “I’d like to do that, but we’ve no one to watch the dog” or “so long as I’m back in time to walk the dog”.

My FIL was a proper “mans man” and I’ve never seen him cook a meal from scratch - but he started baking stuff. He’s not GBBO standard, and I don’t even know if he would say it was a hobby.

 

[Poignard]

Have you experience to express?

Yes, but not recent experience, alas.

 

[Babylon]

Young people don’t have those attachments...

...they will do eventually!