Ask me how bored I am ..

paulineb

paulineb

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I'm so bored!! I want to be on my boat. I've just watched Eastenders followed by Coronation Street and am now starting on the Nuremburg Trials. Is there anyone out there that can make me laugh?

Pxx
PS Looking forward to the programme on Spontaneous Human Combustion at 11pm tonight
 
It was the "Truth about Lesbian S*x" or similar. Most interesting, not many dykes on boats though. Appears this Swedish researcher has done loads of tests and the like on women and come to the conclusion that there is hardly any difference between a straight and gay female in the way they display their preferences, inwardly so to speak. Also this was confirmed by quite a few of those interviewed who said they were increasingly being asked by straight girls for an "experience".

Seems that average session for these girls was 3-4 hours, why so quick I thought.

Now to put things in perspective I am not homophobic (nor gay!) just an interested people watcher. Not boaty, but hey ho.
 
Dykes, whilst not sounding pleasant, is a cute word in the community according to the gay girl I play golf with. (Young and stunningly attractive!)

Now it's not me that's saying it, it's the Swedish professor. Don't you go putting words in my mouth:-))
 
Well here's one that made me laugh. 'course it cvould be that your sense of humour's not as warped as mine, but I don't think so...

Never under estimate a little old Lady.....

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day. carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her,

"Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets. "

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square! "

The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

" Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand.
 
Re: Thinking head

Have you had a hair cut then? Last real piccie I saw of you was with long hair, getting ready for all that sun in Brighton (thats a bit of a pop spot with the gays, yeh?)
 
Re: Thinking head

Me think that, never. But as for the Swedish professor........she can go and yump on her wibrator.

See now your'e not bored, I'm off to search the web for a new boat! Byee.
 
If you're bored, you can always come and help me varnish!

I've just applied the 1st coat to a pair of locker doors - my first ever. I'm really pleased with myself. I'm only down the road from you and I've still got 6 coats to go.

...Lounge is now in a bit of a mess though.
 
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