Apologies if you've already seen the Stellas.

Twister_Ken

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Apologies if you\'ve already seen the Stellas.

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

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tcm

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Re: hard luck, fatipa +TK + Kim

I find myself very upset indeed that fatipa has twisted his ankle. So, I plan to jointly sue him, Ken for starting the thread, and IPC for publishing the information, for five million dollars.

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Sorry, Fatipa and TCM

i am looking forward to the claim against beneteau for erroneously fitting a clipper 331 with a holding tank and failing to inform the owner

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Metabarca

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Re: litigation

I think a class action is in order against the entire raggie industry for failing to inform us, the customers, that their products will not move if there is no wind, and that they bend over if there is too much.
After all, a boat is for getting from A to B, right? So where is the 'fitness for purpose' if your boat bends over and goes in all directions except the one in which you want to go? (Stinkies: stay out of this!)

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.comoy.com/saillinks.html>http://www.comoy.com/saillinks.html</A><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by Metabarca on 02/07/2003 17:29 (server time).</FONT></P>
 

sailbadthesinner

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Re: worryingly though

well he never realised he had the holding tank
despite the nose curling, stomach churning, eye watering evidence of his own senses

so how's he gonna spot all that mental anguish??

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Twister_Ken

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Re: worryingly though

Mental anguish? Scots? It's bred out of them. Otherwise think of the state of the national psyche everytime England beats them and rugby or football.

Where are Les Jocques BTW? Withdrawn their labour, or cut off by Hadrian's wall? S'gon awfie quiet roon here.

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colvic

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Re: Apologies if you\'ve already seen the Stellas.

If boredom is such a problem how about using Instant messaging direct to those interested?

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BrendanS

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Re: litigation

Never mind the last bit, what you need are a couple of stinkie expert witnesses to testify that indeed boats can be built that go in correct direction and don't bend over

<hr width=100% size=1>Err, let me know if Depsol enters the forum, I'll go and hide
 

Neraida

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Re: litigation

If you were in Southampton Water tonight you would have been able to record a prime example of these matters. 'Bout 7pm turned back after doing about a knot for an hour(with the tide), decided to pootle on home with sail up for a bit and motor the rest of the way, starts drizzling, then, sudden blast of wind, sea, rain and boat turning from every direction, all at once. I reckon I should sue too....... Except, it was quite good fun........... (I won't say anything if you don't).

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colvic

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Re: Burr under your saddle? nm

Not really, just thought Kim had set up a seperate Forum for this sort of "chat"

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