Apart from A Royal Navy Officer, What is a Useless Thing to have Onboard a Yacht?

I believe an umbrella was one of the 3 most useless thing

Can't remember what the third one is

BTB I once went sailing with a retired very senior naval officer - and told him this

He thought it was hilarious

Really nice chap - but have not seen him for years

A cow?
 
The sort of arrogant berk who assumes that Naval Officers know so little about sailing or the sea that they are a liability and they naturally know more.

Are other ranks acceptable on board then? One assumes so.
 
The sort of arrogant berk who assumes that Naval Officers know so little about sailing or the sea that they are a liability and they naturally know more.

Are other ranks acceptable on board then? One assumes so.

Anyone want to play 'spot the sense of humour bypass'???
 
I once had a naval officer on my boat, engine running a bit rough and she whipped off the top thingy and reset the tappets, checked the filters and the levels, changed the impellor and pronounced all OK, very easy on the eye too.

Yet to find a use for a wheelbarrow, but umbrella very handy.
 
I suppose you could include people who pronounce on the sense of humour of others when they know nothing whatsoever about it. Equally those who jump to unsupported conclusions.
 
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