any better overheard comments?

[peterg]

Spoke to a salesman last week who was recalling this years Southampton Boat Show and the subject of 'customers comments' came up and how some really didn't know much about boats except that they can afford one - the funniest one he heard this year was...."why are the indicators different colours on each side?"

post more if you know any better than this!

 

[byron]

What's so funny about that Peter? It's something I have always wondered about myself. ;-)

I do know of a lady who asked me to test her on lights. One of the questions I asked her was "If you see an orange flashing light at sea what does it signify" She thought for a moment and answered sweetly "A gritting Lorry"
The answer by the way is a Hovercraft.

©2001
www.education-jobs.co.uk
www.alexander-advertising.co.uk

 

[peterg]

I thought a flashing orange light...

meant the AA or RAC man! hmm, must do some revision on my knowledge of lights and marks

 

[c_j]

What colour lights on the gritting lorry then? nm

*

CJ
chris@stone.uk.com

 

[paulineb]

Overheard outside a carpet shop in the Roman Road market, two middle-aged ladies "Oooh Vera, I'd love a length of that up me passage girl" hee hee.

Pauline B

 

[BarryD]

Two aeroplanny RT ones for you....

Cranfield tower, Golf-Charlie India you need to speak we cannot see if you just nod your head.

And;

Good morning Heathrow, Speedbird 31 ready for push back and engine start
Speedbird 31, three hour delay on push back
Heathrow ground, confirm 3 hour delay.
Speedbird 31 confirmed
Heathrow - Cancel good morning.

Barry D.

 

[markc]

I was in St Kats a couple of years ago and moored outside the yacht club waqs a US flagged super yacht [got a great tour round but that's another story]. It had cost the owner £8 million plus another £6 million for a refirb. Anyway, I overheard a couple who were looking at the boat from the quay side

Man "I would buy one of those if I won the lottery"
Woman "nah, I'd rather spend the money on a Range Rover"



M

 

[byron]

Mark, you have reminded me, also heard in St Kats, a geezer asked my mate who was on the back of his new Princess 44 "ere mate, settle an arguement between me an the missus, does one of those cost more or less than a caravan, I mean you ain't got to bovver wiv wheels or nuffink"

©2001
www.education-jobs.co.uk
www.alexander-advertising.co.uk

 

[Guest]

Also at SBS.

Father and son stood at stern of boat. Lad says ' is that where they put the petrol then dad?' No replies his father, it says 'pump out', this means if there's any water in the bottom of the boat that's where they get it out.

 

[Geoffs]

Well..........not too far out. It's mainly water!

 

[peterb]

Submarines on the surface also show flashing yellow lights. To quote from Notice to Mariners No 8:

"The showing of one of these quick-flashing lights is intended to indicate to an approaching vessel the need fo caution rather than to give immediate identification of the type of vessel exhibiting such lights. Subsequent identification of submarine or hovercraft can usually be made by observation."

Shows a certain Civil Service dry humour, I always think.

 

[andrewbarker]

Stallholder at Netley Boat Jumble Sun before last to punter
"C'mon mate £10 quid for the aerial"
Punter "But that's for Decca - my Decca doesn't work any more"
Stallholder "No - well you see you need a new aerial!"

 

[ArthurWood]

Territorial Army sergeant on field radio: "I have you in visual contact but I can not see you."

English teacher to pupil: "What is the definition of bizarre?"
Pupil: "A jumble sale, sir."

 

[Guest]

We were on a cruise ship round the Carribean and one old lady wanted to know where the crew went at night. She seemed quite happy when we told her "back to Miami".

 

[ari]

Overheard a punter at the Southampton Boat Show ask a salesman whether the price he quoted was plus VAT or ex VAT...

 

[Guest]

Standing in front of a blackened bronze statue of Marshal Zhukov on horseback, a Russian lady standing next to me said to her friend "but Zhukov's horse was white, not black!"

I told her: "yes, and so was Zhukov". It went down like a lead balloon.

 

[Guest]

In a bar, young lady asked if they had any interesting new drinks, cocktails or whatever.

"You can have an Innuendo, if you ask nicely" said the barman

"Ooh alright", she giggled " Please can I have an Innuendo?"

So the barman gave her one.