Wiggo
New member
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
A: Mac?
C: No, the name's Lou.
A: Your computer?
C: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
A: Mac?
C: I told you, my name's Lou.
A: What about Windows?
C: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
A: Do you want a computer with Windows?
C: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
A: Wallpaper.
C: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
A: Software for Windows?
C: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,
track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
A: Office.
C: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
A: I just did.
C: You just did what?
A: Recommend something.
C: You recommended something?
A: Yes.
C: For my office?
A: Yes.
C: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
A: Office.
C: Yes, for my office!
A: I recommend Office with Windows.
C: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting
at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
A: Word.
C: What word?
A: Word in Office.
C: The only word in office is office.
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: Which word in office for windows?
A: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
C: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
A: Yes, you want Real One.
C: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. Just tell me what I need!
A: Real One.
C: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I
watch them?
A: Of course.
C: Great! With what?
A: Real One.
C: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
A: You click the blue "1".
C: I click the blue one what?
A: The blue "1".
C: Is that different from the blue w?
A: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
C: What word?
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
A: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
C: It is?
A: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
C: And that word is real one?
A: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
C: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
A: Money.
C: That's right. What do you have?
A: Money.
C: I need money to track my money?
A: It comes bundled with your computer.
C: What's bundled with my computer?
A: Money.
C: Money comes with my computer?
A: Yes. No extra charge.
C: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
A: One copy.
C: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
A: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
C: They can give you a license to copy money?
A: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
C: How do I turn my computer off?
A: Click on "START".......
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
A: Mac?
C: No, the name's Lou.
A: Your computer?
C: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
A: Mac?
C: I told you, my name's Lou.
A: What about Windows?
C: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
A: Do you want a computer with Windows?
C: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
A: Wallpaper.
C: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
A: Software for Windows?
C: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,
track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
A: Office.
C: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
A: I just did.
C: You just did what?
A: Recommend something.
C: You recommended something?
A: Yes.
C: For my office?
A: Yes.
C: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
A: Office.
C: Yes, for my office!
A: I recommend Office with Windows.
C: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting
at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
A: Word.
C: What word?
A: Word in Office.
C: The only word in office is office.
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: Which word in office for windows?
A: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
C: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
A: Yes, you want Real One.
C: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. Just tell me what I need!
A: Real One.
C: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I
watch them?
A: Of course.
C: Great! With what?
A: Real One.
C: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
A: You click the blue "1".
C: I click the blue one what?
A: The blue "1".
C: Is that different from the blue w?
A: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
C: What word?
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
A: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
C: It is?
A: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
C: And that word is real one?
A: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
C: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
A: Money.
C: That's right. What do you have?
A: Money.
C: I need money to track my money?
A: It comes bundled with your computer.
C: What's bundled with my computer?
A: Money.
C: Money comes with my computer?
A: Yes. No extra charge.
C: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
A: One copy.
C: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
A: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
C: They can give you a license to copy money?
A: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
A: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
C: How do I turn my computer off?
A: Click on "START".......
