A Post to Rival Jimi<s>

[TheBoatman]

Do you believe in a benevolent God?

If you do, then you are convinced that is why he made the Solent the main sailing area in the UK, put most of the racing sailors in that area to leave the rest of the country relatively un-touched by these (mad) people. He also placed the English Channel between the French and us and made the UK part of Europe but not actually connected to it. Placed the Aussies and Kiwi’s on the other side of the world. Allowed the invention of FB pies and tinned potatoes.

If you don’t then you know why the East coast cruising grounds are shallow, we have politicians and the EU, speed cameras, Jimi, Twister Ken, Claymore and me. MoBo’s. The IR and Vat man etc.

Discuss?


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[MOLLYdownUnder]

Yeah, I believe in a benevolent God, move to Australia and see his work down here like I have, Whitsundays and down to Sydney.
Got to go now 23 after midnight here and 26.8degC Lovely
regards Nick

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[StugeronSteve]

Re: Politicians and E. Coast.

Both tend to be shallow and murky.

Of course there's a benevolent God. How else could we spend so much time on here and still afford boats? /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[FergusM]

Almighty God is indeed benevolent, but he sometimes sends things to try his creatures. As it says so truly in the Book of Job. "Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards". Mind you, some men manage to avoid trouble, and stay single.

However, to get back to the benevolence of God:

When God was creating the world, He was discussing Scotland with the Archangel Gabriel.

"Right then, Gabriel, let Us see what we can do here. I will make a beautiful country, of mountains and lochs, forest and river, islands and sea. The sea will teem with fish. I will place in Scotland a race of brave fighting men, hard-working and inventive. The women will be lovely, and their singing a joy to hear. I will give the land coal, and place oil under the sea. I will give them barley, and they will make a drink called whisky, which will be the water of life itself".

"Lord," said Gabriel, "I think that Thou art spoiling the Scots."

"Ah, Gabriel," replied God. "Thou thinkest that only because thou dost not know who I am going to give them for neighbours!"

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[ChrisE]

I say, old boy, that's a trifle hard on the Irish and the Scandanavians. We don't count as neighbours merely rulers

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[Rowana]

Listen here, Mate

When your furst Lizzie popped 'er clogs, youse lot 'ad tae come for anither Jimmy frae up here to come doon tae rool youse ! !

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[ChrisE]

Did you say something?

translation, please, my good man.

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[jimi]

Re: Did you say something?

Think he's trying to say that I'm a good man for King once our dear queen departs this mortal coil

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[StugeronSteve]

Re: And then we tried....

...to introduce a few German components, in the hope of improved reliability!!!!

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[ChrisE]

Thanks and your title would be

King Jimi of Benestock?

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[jimi]

Re: And then we tried....

From Bavaria .. but that did'nt work cos they all came out the same cold mould and underneath the ill matching veneer were a bunch of sausage eating lightweights

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[Gunfleet]

Boatman, this is NBG. Far too sensible to rival jimi's posts. What are you thinking of, man? Why not try, 'Do I look all right in this spinnaker?' or 'Much made be made of a Scotchman if he be caught young... or not?' Or 'should YM syllabus include macrame, in case of longeurs in the channel?' Or 'Fray Bentos, two Michelin stars and a bottle of plonk'. What you've done is joined it up so that it more or less makes sense. That's not the point at all.

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[TheBoatman]

John
I feel a failure now, your right of course, the post could never rival Jimi's it degenerated into a sensible post almost from the off.

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[FergusM]

Now I never thought of using an Englishman to draw a straight line ...

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[ChrisE]

I think you'll find that our predecessors drew one at Hadrians Wall.

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[FergusM]

Yes, the Romans subjugated you lot, but could not hold us down - they lost a complete legion trying it.

The straightest line the English ever drew was the route south the survivors of Edward's army took after Bannockburn. They broke several speed records as well.

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[jimi]

Chris babe, or should I say bambino, I presume Mrs Enstone knows she's married to a wild latin lover and not a frigid anglo saxon? Your Itie predecessors had two attempts at keeping us out, neither of which succeeded!

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[ChrisE]

Busdrivers by any chance?

A wee gem for ye

The Scottish bus driver was giving a tour of Scotland to a group of tourists. The tour went through the countryside and the driver would point out sights of interest. He drove by this one area and said, "Over there is where the Scottish PULVERIZED the English." They drove on a little further and the driver pointed to another area along the roadway and said, "This is the place where the Scottish MASSACRED the English." Not much further down the road the driver told his passengers that on the right was the great battlefield where the Scottish WHIPPED the English.
About that time a man on the bus, with a stiff English accent, said, "My good man, didn't the English win any battles around here"? "Not when I'm driving the bus" was the response.

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[FergusM]

Re: Busdrivers by any chance?

An' ane fur ye

A Scottish bus driver moved down to live in Northumberland, and married a local girl. He really wanted to fit in, so he said to the doctor, "I want to talk like a Geordie, and think like a Geordie, and become a lecturer at Newcastle University." The doctor replied, "To make that possible, we would need to cut out 10% of your brain." "Just do it," said the Scotsman.

When he regained consciousness after the operation, the doctor said to him, "We're reet sorry, bonnie lad, we cut out 90% of your brain by mistake." "That's quite all right, old boy." came the response, in a Southern English accent.

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[ChrisE]

Funnily enough..

I'd heard the same joke with the nationalities reversed. Still I'd better get on with making a living.

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