A man with a machine gun came up to me - or was it a dream

I suffered a 'Hard Stop' a few years ago....

I was woken in the night by a Security Company's duty officer telephoning. "You're a keyholder for your neighbour's house on our contract, and the alarms have gone off. Could you go and check if there's a problem?"

I knew my wealthy neighbours were away again - Palma, Peru, Thailand - that the trees outside were thrashing about in a gale, and that the whipping of branches had probably set off the movement alarms again, but I threw on a coat and some slippers, and set off up the 150 yard drive to check. Halfway there, the rain came on again hard, but I continued round the outside of the Big House, checking doors and windows, with ( as usual ) no sign of entry.

Halfway back down the drive, muttering and cursing as the rain streamed off me, I was confronted by two charging police vehicles - full headlights, blue flashers and two-tone horns - slithering to a halt in front of me. The doors flew open, and a young voice shouted "Armed police. Put down your weapon. Hands up...."

I dropped my torch. I raised my hands. My raincoat hung open, showing my bare legs, my soaked pajamas and slippers, my white hair plastered down by the cold driving rain....

"What are you doing here?" came the shouted and excited challenge from behind the glaring headlights.

"I'm going back to f****** bed. Back down the drive, where I live...."

You could hear the laughter of the other cops in Bristol!

Anyway, most of them pushed off, and I brought the two 'gunslingers' in while I put the kettle on, towelled dry, and made some coffee. It emerged that 'they' were two Armed Response Units patrolling not far away - they didn't explain why - and my neighbour's house was on some sort of 'List'. He wasn't a political, or a 'mandarin', and I never found out.

The pair of 'sheriffs' looked distinctly uncomfortable sat there in all their body armour, gun belts and kit, while they wrote up some sort of notes... "Two sugars, please, and no milk".... but I told them that, next time they arrested me for 'doing my neighbour bit', they'd 'better bring their own bluddy biscuits'.
 
zoidberg said:
I suffered a 'Hard Stop' a few years ago....

I was woken in the night by a Security Company's duty officer......
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There are several things fundamentally wrong with that story. I'm not questioning the accuracy of it, I'm sure it happened exactly as described, but let me explain.

Firstly the phone call to the neighbour. If this property was considered high risk and warranted an armed response this wouldn't have been made. The last thing you want is innocent members of the public wandering around your incident. This leads me to suspect that it wasn't subject to any response plan, this was a routine alarm call that the police were made aware of and the nearest patrol just happened to be an armed unit, so they were tasked.

Secondly this patrol should (would) have been told that a key holder had been called by the alarm company so they should(would) have been forewarned about their potential presence at the scene.

Thirdly on approaching the property and seeing a drenched man with a torch walking down towards them 99% of officers would have wound down their window (just a little) and said "have you found anything mate?" This is principally because they wouldn't want to get wet, but also because they know that if the individual was a burglar he wouldn't we walking towards their headlights, especially if they have been stupid enough to approach an alarm call with their blue lights and sirens on.....

The fact that the officers went straight into an armed stop routine illustrates the point I was trying to make earlier, they are so wrapped up in their little world that they completely fail to think outside of it.
 
Apologies for resurrecting an old thread, but it seems there was even more reason for the polis to be cautious .. http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-38744322


(Just off the Holy Loch seems a bit unlikely though, what with the wreck of the Akka, Macbraynes going back and forth, never mind the Waverley's skirmishes with the Gantocks.)
 
I just love the way a politician can't resist using something that happened forty years ago to further their argument today. Mind you, speaking in police response timescales I suppose that's fairly recent... they're probably be extra patrols out there tomorrow just so they can show they have responded to this reported threat....
 
If we are still on topic....In Cardiff Bay when the Nato thingy was held a few years ago the coppers briefed us charter skippers where we could and couldn't go. When I asked what would happen if my boat strayed of course the guy said we will shoot you...don't think he was joking,and no one strayed off course.
 
Which sort of brings me right back to my very first post.... I'd would have been so tempted to ask him exactly why they would shoot me... :)
 
Triassic said:
I might have been tempted to play with them just a little.....

"Tell me officer, just how do you suppose my little sailing yacht might be a threat to the safety of that nuclear submarine, even if I did have both the space and the foresight to pack it with enough explosive....?"
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The last part reads like a threat to me.

But what do I know?
 
Precisely, where to me it reads like a question asking why he thought I may be a threat. Isn't the English language a wonderful thing....
 
Triassic said:
I might have been tempted to play with them just a little.....

"Tell me officer, just how do you suppose my little sailing yacht might be a threat to the safety of that nuclear submarine, even if I did have both the space and the foresight to pack it with enough explosive....?"
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In which case you would have failed the "attitude test" and the humourless plod involved would start using his powers to make your life unpleasant until you became more subservient and respectful of (his) authority.
 
That is indeed a very real possibility which is why I advocated caution when doing so. Of course the opposite is also true, their initial approach and conduct together with the way they delivered their message is highly likely to influence my response so it rather depends on them really doesn't it...? Some take the view that they carry a big stick to protect people, others that it is to encourage unchallenged obedience, and when you meet and deal with these individuals often enough it is amazing how quickly you can see which camp they are in.
 
Triassic said:
.....meet and deal with these individuals often enough it is amazing how quickly you can see which camp they are in.
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I understand there's usually a pair of them - or a pair of pairs, like schoolgirls seeking to go to the toilet - and that could well lead to 'mixed messages' and seriously inappropriate response.

'Good cop - bad cop', eh? I'll call them both 'sir'.... as in 'Sur! Yeessur, sur!'
 
For those who seem to think this is some sort of joke or who think it's big to make fun of, or life difficult for, those who have to make split second decisions. Note the lack of decision/reaction time available and the small size of the threat vessel.

 
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Same thing happened to me and my pal a few years ago as we were on our way to Rhu marina.. TheRIB police were polite and friendly and their SMGs were in plain view strapped to their chests.

Whatever our personal /political views, the guys have a job to do to protect the GB taxpayer's investment, why make it difficult for them???
 
As I'm approaching a fork in the channel inbound, a sub is approaching the other end of the fork, outbound. RIB with men with guns comes alongside, and tells me to keep clear. I ask man with gun which channel the sub is using, east or west? - "can't tell you that sir".

One out of two. Adds to the nautical seascape.
 
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