Young Friends Eating Habits

[claymore]

I'm taking some young friends of mine off on a character building cruise around the West Coast of Scotland.
Being a thoughtful and considerate person, I decided to send them a fairly detailed breakdown of the meals I was planning to prepare and serve whilst off on this jaunt.
I must confess to being mildly dismayed at the response I have received in that they have written back mentioning something called 'fajitas' and 'texmex'
I am at a loss to understand what these words mean - I can only assume that it is some form of food which the younger element eats nowadays and with so much in the news about obesity recently I really am quite worried as I would not like to encourage this sort of thing.
I had hoped they would be satisfied with one of my very special choufleur de fromage au wellington numbers but apparently not, which is such a shame as last years group really enjoyed it and wrote how much they had done so in the customer satisfaction survey forms I issued prior to disembarkation.
What do you think I should do?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[BrendanS]

Cauliflower fajitas?

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

 

[Becky]

There is absolutely no problem with this, just cook anything you like and throw chillis (including the seeds) into the mix, and they won't be able to tell what they are eating, only that like Mexican food, it is very spicy, too spicy to be recognisable. Of course, keep your food separate and watch the fun. Best of luck

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[longjohnsadler]

Young friends? I thought you were going with Jimi and Para.

I have just returned from a culinary cruise of northern Spain and can recommend Duelos y quebrantos (egg and brain hash), Pastel di carne (meat pie) or Rape al horno (baked monkfish). Whatever you do, don't attempt the Salpicon.
Another member of the forum, I forget who, won the Tobermory All-comers Award for Least Popular Evening Meal 2003, so you need to know your onions.

If you take your identity cards, you may of course qualify for free deliveries from Meals on Keels. PM me if you need any of the above recipes.

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[jimi]

Disaster strikes ...

Holland is clean out of cheese .. so I had to get some gin instead .. hope that's OK?

<hr width=100% size=1>I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

 

[longjohnsilver]

Speak nicely to boatman and get his ducks delivered.

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[longjohnsadler]

Absolutely not.
Cheese has Vitamin E, essential for night vision. Gin makes you blind and cannot be grilled on toast.
And, no, it's not too late to cancel.

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[TheBoatman]

Smiling from ear to ear, nice one although I do prefer my duck a little bigger and with a black cherry sauce?

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[webcraft]

We could perhaps offer some ethnic cuisine . . .

The good ship Fairwinds is largely victualled with Grant's tinned haggis . . . goes down a treat with Tesco's value new tatties and a tin of carrots.

(Have been totally unable to source tinned neeps - surely a gap in the market for some entrepreneurial type?)

- Nick


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[claymore]

Hmm tinned haggis - my kind of grub - if you can't get any tinned neeps, I have a cauli that is looking a little redundant?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

I believe the Jura award is up for grabs - referred to locally as the 'Craighouse Culinary Catas-trophy' I've every confidence that my Aubergine and Courgette surprise with a drizzle of cranberry will have no equal.
Will you be a party to this feast?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[cliff]

"something called 'fajitas' and 'texmex' "

Fajitas are round thin pieces of corn bread bit like VERY thin pancakes - to use them you put the filling in a strip about ¾ of the diagonal, roll the bloody thing up like you would a ciggie then fold the unfilled ¼ up to stop the filling falling out the bottom. Depending on the filling they can be quite healthy. Be warned however they can be messy to eat especially if given to "young friends" so have plenty of wipes ready. The filling can be anything you fancy - chicken salad or corned beef hash or haggis or chilli con carne (not too runny though).

For tex mex repicies see here
http://www.texmex.net/Recipes/recipes.htm#NOW

For Chicken Fajitas see here
http://www.ichef.com/recipe.cfm?task=display&itemid=87370&recipeid=87023

Other fillings at your own risk but I do recommend chilli - not powdered chilli but fresh chopped chilli. Oh yes, almost forgot lots of water to kill the pain of the chilli but if you want to be mean about it give the "young ones" some cold fizzy drink like coke (diet variety of course). Trying to wash away the chilli with fizzy drink, even beer, does not work - makes it worse for a few seconds in fact.

If you have a fridge on board may I suggest you keep the toilet paper in there. It is so soothing after a good chilli, I mean a good chilli gives new meaning to "the burning ring of fire" (apologies to Johnny Cash).

Chilli Joke?
Recently I was honoured to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chilli cook-off because no-one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges that the chilli wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're an internet writer and therefore known and adored by all.
Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chilli No 1 : Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chilli
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour Very mild.
FRANK: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
Chilli No 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chilli

JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the heimlich manoeuvre. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line.

Chilli No 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chilli
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chilli! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chilli, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a !?No No ?!?%?~?! uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Domestos. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.

Chilli No 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her.

Chilli No 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chilli using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Chilli No 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally.

Chilli No 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chilli
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chilli peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.
FRANK: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chilli which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

Chilli No 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chilli
JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chilli, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 who fell and pulled the chilli pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chilli, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
FRANK: ------------------
SALLY: Frank? Frank?


I still think keeping the bog roll in the fridge is a good idea. and maybe some Savlon as well.

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[longjohnsadler]

Re: Eats shites and leaves

Just returned from holiday and my crew has broken her collar-bone so unfortunately not going anywhere this w/end.
I believe its customary on these cruises for the crew to buy the skipper meals at his restaurants of choice so dont forget your Michelin Guide to Islay, Scarba and Beyond.
Good luck.


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[jimi]

Listen ye oirish midget .. ah aye put sliced carrot as well as lemon in my G&T .. sae nae problum wi' the vits there!

<hr width=100% size=1>I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

 

[longjohnsadler]

I'm minded of a recent post on another thread that went something like 'Minister for Health?.....Scotland?.....Dont be an oxymoron!'

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[claymore]

Cliff
The Bio indicates that you are Clyde-based. I could forgo the usual run through Bonny Doune and take in the Great Western Road if you fancy being the Fajitas Commis Chef!
Naturally its only fair to point out that you'd be sleeping with Para - I'll reword that - you'd be sharing the forepeak with Para - probably a gong in it for you

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Midget...tsk,tsk,tsk

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Re: Eats shites and leaves

The collar bone - injured in the passion of the reunion, or fell off the nag?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[longjohnsadler]

Re: Eats shites and leaves

The holiday - a second honeymoon in northern Spain except my mother was there too.
The collar bone - trapped between horse and stable wall.

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[jimi]

Re: Eats shites and leaves

Ach weel these things happen .. but tae mair important matters .. did ye get the boat tae float again on the spring tide?

<hr width=100% size=1>I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha