Wrong numbers - evil ideas needed

snowleopard

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Years ago our phone number was the number for the local post office. since then all local offices have gone ex-directory and you must phone a central number. unfortunately the Post Office internal directory still has our number and the idiots keep giving our number out to joe public.

not surprisingly the jobsworths won't tell me the real number of the local office, nor will they tell me who is in charge of their directory.

now i heard of someone who kept getting calls for a nearby hotel and got them to change by taking bookings from people who rang his number. i can't think of anything that would inconvenience the post office enough to make them take action.

i've seen enough cunning ideas around here to be confident that someone can devise a good way of dealing with them. any ideas?
 

pragmatist

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You could return to gainful employment and become a sub post office ? /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
 

cardinal_mark

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We've had a similar thing in the past and ended up taking bookings for squash courts, swimming lessons, creche facilities, personal training etc etc. We never heard anything about number changes, but the calls soon stopped!

Yours is a little more difficult but maybe when they ask if that's the Post Office, why not respond with something along the lines of "yes and you are through to Adam Crozier" in a squeaky Scottish accent. Wait for their request / complaint etc and then be as rude as humanly possible. Perhaps even a rant about how the public really get up your nose and hence your plans to close down the Post Office entirely in a few years.

On its own it probably wont get them to change the number but with a little invention it might make for some greast fun /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Mark
 

tonyran

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Snowleopard you did ask for evil ideas so here goes:

1. Set up an 0870 or premium rate number - the profits go to you, just depends on how much you want.
2. Set up your answering machine to request callers to dial your new number (1 above)
3. Your premium rate number goes into a new number at your home straight to another answering machine, which explains very slowly that they have dialled the wrong number and need to find out the correct number from the post office concerned. You may be able to buy some question and answer software to put on a pc. You then go through a series of pointless questions (just like the banks and insurance companies - dont forget a 5 minute loop.."all our lines are engaged, your call is important to us"...you know the usual crap before you get through to India) in fact with a bit of imagination you could really have some fun.

This is a potential goldmine. How many calls a day are you getting? I want 20% of the profits!
 

tonyran

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Snowleopard you did ask for evil ideas so here goes:

1. Set up an 0870 or premium rate number - the profits go to you, just depends on how much you want.
2. Set up your answering machine to request callers to dial your new number (1 above)
3. Your premium rate number goes into a new number at your home straight to another answering machine, which explains very slowly that they have dialled the wrong number and need to find out the correct number from the post office concerned. You may be able to buy some question and answer software to put on a pc. You then go through a series of pointless questions (just like the banks and insurance companies - dont forget a 5 minute loop.."all our lines are engaged, your call is important to us"...you know the usual crap before you get through to India) in fact with a bit of imagination you could really have some fun.

This is a potential goldmine. How many calls a day are you getting? I want 20% of the profits!
 

Bergman

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Nice try

But no cigar

They will continue to call the the present number and not the 0870 number.

So no new boat there I'm afraid.

Maybe a recorded message telling callers that PO is no good and recommending they go to a competitor.

Word will soon get back.
 

Ships_Cat

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Could you not complain to your telephone service provider that you are suffering abuse from another telephone user who is intentionally directing spurious calls to you.

I don't know about the UK but certainly here it would be fixed within a few hours even if the abuser used a different service provider to your own.

{Edit: To add weight to your complaint you could probably correctly point out that you have asked the abuser to desist but that they refuse to do so}

John
 

TheBoatman

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I smell compo here?

Go find a no win no fee lawyer and see what he or she have to say!!!

PO keep giving out your phone number, won't tell you theirs because it's secret.

Wife has taken to her sick bed because of all the calls and is now refusing conjugal rights.

Every time the phone rings the dog goes "barking" mad.

With all the calls both you and the dog have bad digestion causing un-necessarily bad smells around the house.

The cat has to be extracted from the top of the curtains a least 50 times per day.

Its got to be worth at least a couple of grand?
 

Birdseye

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Can you put your phone on divert to the number of the local MP?

Best solution is simply to answer such phone calls with something along the lines of "The Post Office does not want your business and suggests you post your mail using a private company. Thank you" end.

No harm - after all, they wouldnt be giving your number to the public if they wanted your business, would they?
 

Lakesailor

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It certainly sounds as though you could get an injunction against them. What's the position Re: Data Protection, giving out what they now know to be your details from a database they hold?
 

dedwards

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Can't you get some sort of autoredirect system like "Please press 1 for the post office or 2 for snowleopard" and then it either directs calls to the 0870 or lets them through to your own line.

Or even some system where it intercepts the call and plays a message before putting it through to your phone would do: "The post office f@rts in your general direction and mocks your silly attempts at phoning them"
 
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