Where would you rather have your money?

ernie_madoff

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1. In a bank account earning a misery in interest with a government trying everything in its power to devalue it and create some inflation.

2. In the stock market which has collapsed and is teeing up for the next big wave down.

3. In your pension fund which will invest it in the stock market before the next big wave down.

4. In a boat with a fantastic summer approaching following 2 lousy ones. It is a hard asset which you can see and touch and cant be downgraded to BB- after you bought it with a AAA rating. Also provides a useful escape option when global anarchy kicks in next year.

5. With me. I have provided my clients with a remarkably consistant 8% return over the last 20 years. pm me for details.

Roll on the summer!!
 

alandee

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Please, please, please could you send me details of your fantastic investment portfolio. With all this doom and gloom around at the moment I need somewhere safe and secure to keep all my money. I will have to have instant access though as I do a lot of night time charity work and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Times are depressing enough as it is. Regards, The Tooth Fairy. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 

calamitys38

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That's my bank account!! How come you got my details? You're not the nice Nigerian General who promised me a share of the £15million pounds in dodgy oil money, just so long as I supplied him with my Bank details are you? /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 

ernie_madoff

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I dont really deal directly with the public but am happy to help out some fellow boaters in these difficult times.

Only invest with me what you cant afford to lose.
 

leomagill

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Thanks for your kind offer Ernie but I have just planted a pound coin in my garden and expect a good size money tree by mid summer, if that fails I'll just have to go back on the game again.
 

jhr

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[ QUOTE ]
I have just planted a pound coin in my garden and expect a good size money tree by mid summer, if that fails I'll just have to go back on the game again.

[/ QUOTE ] Prepare for disappointment; money doesn't grow on trees, y'know...........
 

ernie_madoff

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Good news, a good friend of mine Alfie Stanford has just called me saying he is topping up his investment fund for 2009 offering 8% returns. Why not remortgage your boat and the money you make on the interest spread will help pay towards mooring fees and fuel etc. pm me for details.
 

David_Jersey

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I'm in /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

However for tax reasons the investment will be handled by my associate Major General Umbuga Abdullah Nikernakernoonoo (Ret'd) who is now CEO of a private Nigerian internet investment organisation.

The Major General will shortly be sending you a PM requesting your bank details to facilitate the bank transfer. He also mentioned the sum of USD100 Million for which you may take a commission of 10% in payment for your Ford Escort.



<span style="color:red"> Caution! - the value of your investment can completely dissapear </span>
 

No Regrets

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[ QUOTE ]
Good news, a good friend of mine Alfie Stanford has just called me saying he is topping up his investment fund for 2009 offering 8% returns. Why not remortgage your boat and the money you make on the interest spread will help pay towards mooring fees and fuel etc. pm me for details.

[/ QUOTE ]


Your poverty sickens me...

If you stopped wasting your pathetic sums on such a paltry amount, I could show you how to pull in a 100% return on any investments you made to me.

Festering pleb... /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 

John100156

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Hey, I know his wife! Very sad story, didn't you hear, poor soul he has died? Leaving a widow and 14 children.

They just need an honest person (you have to tick the box to say you are) and you can help her release millions of dollars from his bank account directly into yours - come on chaps we could ALL be rich....
 

David_Jersey

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[ QUOTE ]

They just need an honest person (you have to tick the box to say you are)

[/ QUOTE ]

Good. Also regulated by the FSA then /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 

leomagill

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have just planted a pound coin in my garden and expect a good size money tree by mid summer, if that fails I'll just have to go back on the game again.

[/ QUOTE ] Prepare for disappointment; money doesn't grow on trees, y'know...........

[/ QUOTE ]

Bugger! I've only just started walking properly after the last time, so which is best? ky jelly or blakes seacock grease?
 

poltergeist

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[ QUOTE ]
I dont really deal directly with the public but am happy to help out some fellow boaters in these difficult times.

Only invest with me what you cant afford to lose .

[/ QUOTE ]

With you, that would be exactly feck all!

You plum!
 
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