Where has common courtesy gone in sailing?

rptb1

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Unfortunately, I think courtesy in general is fast disappearing.

Really? Everyone is so nice to me, offering me stuff, swapping stories, inviting me aboard, inviting me back. Any more courtesy and I'd have to start scowling at people just to get away and get some sailing done.

Curmudgeons who post complaints on Internet forums, however, are a different matter. ;)
 

Heckler

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Is it just me or has some of the common courtesy gone out of sailing.

In the last couple of days I helped two boats in by taking lines and tying them on. On both occasions not even a quick "thank you". It is if I wasn't there.

I also watched several boats racing each other trying to get to the quay first in case there was no other space. One was even trying to overtake another in a marina, his engine full blast!

Then the other night a boat came in nearly taking my stern off. I had to physically hold it off scraping all my elbow in doing so. He again didn't even acknowledge me.
We were tied on at the end of a quay so his stern was at 90 degrees to mine but only a few feet away as he was overhanging the quay. 4 times a day he would turn his engine on for an hour or so. I put up with it for the first 3 times but then the wind blew all his exhaust fumes into our boat. It was so bad we had to get off.
I went to complain and he said he had problems with his batteries and lots of food in his two fridges. The food would go off if he did not run his engine. I explained we were being gassed but he refused to listen. I said go and anchor and run your engine all day but he said he had a problem with his dinghy. (we later saw him using it without problem).
He also had a wind generator (the noisy sort) which went all day.
This man just would not listen so I said I was calling the port Police. He then turned his engine off but got a generator out and ran this instead.

He was without doubt the most ignorant sailor I had ever met (it was a German boat by the way).

Have you met sailors who are just plain ignorant and give sailing a bad name and is common courtesy amongst sailors disappearing?
Be careful, you will be called nasty and xenophobic for mentioning race by the self appointed policeman of racism, Eleclit!
S
 

GrahamM376

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Really? Everyone is so nice to me, offering me stuff, swapping stories, inviting me aboard, inviting me back. Any more courtesy and I'd have to start scowling at people just to get away and get some sailing done.

Curmudgeons who post complaints on Internet forums, however, are a different matter. ;)

I wasn't referring to the "boaty" community but courtesy in general. Doesn't seem to be so much respect for others these days.
 

Heckler

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I wasn't referring to the "boaty" community but courtesy in general. Doesn't seem to be so much respect for others these days.

Peeps in Portugal are nice! Mostly!
There is a big mobo parked across the way from us. A young lad has been cleaning and polishing it for the last few days, yesterday he had the radio on full char all afternoon. The most placid swmbo in the world finally snapped and said, bit loud to me. She was horrified when I called him and asked to turn it down! I must say I was expecting a feck off, he didnt, he turned it down and then off!
V nice boy!
S
 

dslittle

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Of course there would be no truth in that as you almost always meet the nicest folk on boats, it's just the occasional moron that stands out and they tend to be on newer bigger boats..

I look forwards to inviting you onto our newer bigger boat for a drink when we get up there next month!!!
 

JumbleDuck

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I wasn't referring to the "boaty" community but courtesy in general. Doesn't seem to be so much respect for others these days.

I disagree. I think there is a lot more respect for other people than there has ever been, particularly in language where offensive terms are far less acceptable than they used to be. Of course what then happens is that people who want to use offensive language whine about "political correctness gone mad" and complain that their feelings are hurt. See the Lounge for many, many examples of this.
 
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JumbleDuck

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If they hadn't understood then criticism is unfair naturally, but if they ignore people because they aren't speaking their preferred language what does that say about them?

Nothing much. It does suggest that if you go abroad you ought to make some attempt to learn the language, and that if you insist on speaking to people in your own language you are likely to get and deserve a frosty reception.
 

Seajet

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I think there are some strong regional differences in the UK. We have kept our boat in Fleetwood over winter for the last 3 years and Dunstaffnage in the Summer. I think the conditions in the NW of Scotland attract a 'better class' of cruiser and then the locals are great. Sailing down the Irish coast this summer was a pleasure and the harbour masters couldn't do enough for you. The Scillies, for me was the transition zone, as arrival in Falmouth was notably more tense and commercial. Despite the excellent harbour control in Dartmouth on three occasions we were made to feel most unwelcome when coming alongside. Finally, back in the Solent our experience is akin to a busy London street, people avoid eye contact and invariably don't acknowledge you or pass the time of day. Perhaps they are all too busy to enjoy themselves!

I don't recognise your Solent; whenever I end up alongside another boat - power or sail - we usually end up chatting and sharing a drink, I have met some fascinating people.

When rafted away from shore such as at Lymington in the river it's normal for anyone rowing ashore to ask if they can take one's rubbish to the bin or pick anything up, and when people discover I'm singlehanding they often invite me to join them for a meal either onboard or ashore; yesterday a couple in sea kayaks paddled past as we idled towards the mooring ( early on the tide ) and we exchanged hello's, same goes for cruising dinghies and just about anyone not in a hurry like the Foiler Moths in Chichester Harbour - who incidentally despite their speed and hairy handling are always remarkably considerate and courteous - I can only remember one really obnoxious chap, on a sailing cruiser I was rafted against and the fact I remember him after 22 years shows it was unusual.
 

rogerthebodger

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Is it just me or has some of the common courtesy gone out of sailing.

1. Why limit to Sailing, happens through life.

2. It's gone the same place a Common Sense . It died quite a number of years ago R.I.P.

p.s

Most foreign visiting sailors in our marina are very courteous and considerate. It's the local that have no common courtesy IMHO due to their high opinion of themselves.

Had a local sailor come past my boat creating a large wake behind a mobo he was using while I was up my mast fixing my spreader lights; no consideration at all
 

reginaldon

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I disagree. I think there is a lot more respect for other people than there has ever been, particularly in language where offensive terms are far less acceptable than they used to be. Of course what then happens is that people who want to use offensive language whine about "political correctness gone mad" and complain that their feelings are hurt. See the Lounge for many, many examples of this.

The guys and guyesses in our Yacht club are great, but generally in the town the respect and general pleasantness has improved since I arrived here in the fifties and my son has also commented on this.
 

JumbleDuck

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Be careful, you will be called nasty and xenophobic for mentioning race by the self appointed policeman of racism, Eleclit!

We should all challenge racism, xenophobia and other bigotries when we encounter them. That's part of what makes a courteous society - knowing that rudeness will be picked up on.
 

Serin

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We should all challenge racism, xenophobia and other bigotries when we encounter them. That's part of what makes a courteous society - knowing that rudeness will be picked up on.

Certainly we should. But in this case the good skipper has certainly dreamed up most of what he complains of. Takes all sorts.......
 
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Nothing much. It does suggest that if you go abroad you ought to make some attempt to learn the language, and that if you insist on speaking to people in your own language you are likely to get and deserve a frosty reception.

I quite agree, however when abroad the people abroad aren't necessarily local to that area, and it is as unreasonable to expect people to speak every language on the globe, as it is to ignore people who you do understand simply because they are unable to speak your preferred language.

If I were in Greece and a Spaniard was asking me for help in Spanish, I do hope most people would think me a complete tool if I ignored him on the basis that he wasn't speaking English. Or worse insisting that both of us used our inept Greek on the basis that we should be speaking the local language when neither of us are any good at it.
 

JumbleDuck

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Certainly we should. But in this case the good skipper has certainly dreamed up most of what he complains of. Takes all sorts.......

It's always those who most willingly heap insults on others who flare up at the tiniest perceived slight to themselves.

If I were in Greece and a Spaniard was asking me for help in Spanish, I do hope most people would think me a complete tool if I ignored him on the basis that he wasn't speaking English. Or worse insisting that both of us used our inept Greek on the basis that we should be speaking the local language when neither of us are any good at it.

In The Lounge, of course, you would be expected to ignore him because he was Spanish, regardless of the language he was speaking.
 

GrahamM376

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I quite agree, however when abroad the people abroad aren't necessarily local to that area, and it is as unreasonable to expect people to speak every language on the globe, as it is to ignore people who you do understand simply because they are unable to speak your preferred language.

Unfortunately, some people think everyone abroad should be able to speak English and one snotty nosed bitch with this point of view I challenged, was/is firmly of the opinion that English marina staff should not have to speak foreign languages. She was in Lagos marina banging on about how useless the "dagos" (her words) are but quickly did an embarrassed about face when informed my wife (who was listening) is one - which I thoroughly enjoyed.
 
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