What things should be banned from a boat?

[Nostrodamus]

Why is it that no matter how many times I clean the cockpit when I go back there are strands of hair all over. They seem to get everywhere. The wife is either malting or putting them there on purpose to annoy me. I have told her that I am going to shave her or only allow bald people on the boat.

Certain things should be banned from boats and anyone with hair should be one of them. I know some people refuse to have sugar because it always seems to get everywhere.

Ok I all thing we agree stilettos should be banned, particularly if the wearer is male and anyone with sand on their feet or clothing should be culled within a radius of 50 meters by clubbing them to death with an opera singer selling car insurance.

What things would you ban from being on board a boat?

 

[pyrojames]

Agree about the hair, although both the wife and I have the long variety.

I put forward sand, hair accessories and Lego.

The best way to avoid sand is to make everyone swim to and from the beach.

 

[Seajet]

Solid coolboxes.

If being serious, white waterproofs, ie white at the top / shoulders, the bits one would hope to see if the wearer is overboard.

 

[FullCircle]

Anyone or anything that reminds me of work.

Until the day I retire, then I will put up a permanent momento to remind myself of what I escaped.

 

[Baggy]

Bread crumbs...

I reckon if I design a breadboard with raised edges to contain the crumbs
( not too difficult methinks ) I could become a millionare..

 

[chubby]

bread rolls with seseame seed coatings

 

[PhillM]

For a start: Computers, mobile phones and any other device that allows the outside to intrude.

Then there are work colleagues, "family" friends and other non-sailing people who "fancy a boat trip" to then get to the end of the river / harbour and then decide that "actually they dont like the sea".

 

[Nostrodamus]

Cats
A complete waste of perfectly good DNA which would be better used on a nice tasty fish.

 

[claymore]

Kippers - they stink the whole boat out.
Sunday newspapers - they get everywhere

 

[claymore]

Bread crumbs...

I reckon if I design a breadboard with raised edges to contain the crumbs
( not too difficult methinks ) I could become a millionare..

You can buy them in france with lats so the crumbs drop into a box below

 

[jerrytug]

Nosey parkers. 'what's his ensign,fender hanging down under way,look his nav lights are wrong and he's drinking vodka should I inform CG?' Nosey parkers infest all walks of life but are especially attracted to yachting,they love the 'flag etiquette' above all else,twitching their binos in the marinas,they should be herded in to cattle trucks and put to work.KNOBS! Regards Jerry

 

[Reptile Smile]

Lightning.

And mud.

And rainwater.

 

[Reptile Smile]

Porous clothing cunningly disguised as Helly Hansen waterproofs. Particularly those with the 'mobile phone' pocket...

 

[Blue5]

Bread crumbs...

I reckon if I design a breadboard with raised edges to contain the crumbs
( not too difficult methinks ) I could become a millionare..

SWMBO reckons I have a supply of biscuit crumbs and fluff which I distribute about the boat so she can clean up and then moan at me................

Perish the day she reads about inverters and such things.......the b****y Dyson will be on board............

 

[fuss]

The quantity of empty beverage cans and bottles

And also other sorts of glass bottles and plastic containers!!

 

[jordanbasset]

Grumpy men

 

[colind3782]

Grumpy men

+1

 

[mjcoon]

... The wife is either malting ...

If she is about to turn into beer, that can't be bad, surely?

Mike.

 

[doris]

I have told her that I am going to shave her QUOTE]

Didn't realise that the forum extended as far as Brazil!

 

[Robert Wilson]

SWMBO is malting

If she is about to turn into beer, that can't be bad, surely?

Mike.

'Allo 'allo! Do I detoct a titch of surcism form Moke?