What is the worst marine invention, ever?

[FullCircle]

Come on then, lets see what turns up here.......

Mine?

Plastic Wine Glasses

 

[flaming]

In mast furling.

(ducks for cover.......)

 

[chiefeng]

Jet Ski (ers)

Rgds
Bob

 

[jimi]

yomping

 

[BlueSkyNick]

telescopic boat hooks - all of which are too loose or too tight,
heads - noisy, leaking pumps and smelly residual water
Westerly Riviera - the conservatory on top is clearly an afterthought

 

[Major Catastrophe]

Brass signs that say:

Please do not attempt to walk on the water
Narrow boaters do it slowly
Electric boaters do it slowly
No drinking aboard (without the Captain)
Work is for people who don't go boating
Ship's Mess - Enter at Your Own Risk
The Captain's word is Law
Ship's bar open 9.00-8.59
Nobody's perfect except the Captain
FREE BEER tomorrow
God does not deduct ... time spent sailing
Old sailors never die they just get...
My boat was clean yesterday. Sorry...
Daily flogging will continue until the crew...
I'm the Captain of this ship, and...
Please do not put...toilet...eaten first
ENGLAND EXPECTS that every man will do his duty
ABANDON HOPE all ye who enter here
All beer served...passed by the landlord
AMENDED COLLISION REGULATIONS:...scream and shout
Banks rob more people than people rob banks
Beer from the wood
Browsers welcome
CREDIT GIVEN (...over the age of ...accompanied by both parents
DIRTY OLD MEN NEED LOVE TOO
Do not drop cigarette ends on the floor...
God does not deduct...time spent drinking
If God had meant...fibre-glass boats...grown fibre-glass trees
If your mother is not aboard, please tidy up...
Le Patron Mange Ici
Major Credit Cards Welcome
Marriages...by the Captain valid...duration of the voyage
Mutineers will walk the plank
NO BLOODY SWEARING
On the order 'Abandon Ship' ... follow me - YOUR CAPTAIN
One hand for the ship And one for yourself
Please check your change as errors cannot...
Please do not hog the fire
Real Ale served here
The Owner Eats Here
This is a Swell Ship for the Skipper, but hell for the Crew
Old barmen never die, for God cannot catch their eye

 

[Dyflin]

Lidl's marine grade rope...

 

[ChrisE]

You\'ll mine a rich vein here

1. Them patent batty hooky thingies for attaching t'boat to t'buoy.

2. Boomlocks, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard

3. Plastic fender clips for the guardrails, what's wrong with a clovehitch?

4. Fender socks. If they're there to keep the fenders clean what keeps the fendersocks clean, eh?

ooh, I could go on forever....

All of them are the Devil's work as far as I'm concerned.

 

[rogerthebodger]

One you missed

"Boats come in 3 dimensions

Length Width and debt "

 

[gandy]

Spinnakers

 

[Major Catastrophe]

Motoring cones, as most yachts don't seem to own one.

 

[FullCircle]

Welded shapes on fishing vessels.....

 

[FullCircle]

BMW D7 engines.....................................

 

[flaming]

"Skipper's" hats.

 

[ChrisE]

You mean this kind of thing....

 

[jimi]

Worsted harris tweed swimming trunks. Chafes the inner thighs something rotten.

 

[Andrew_Fanner]

MAIB

 

[CPD]

Chandleries /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Corossion /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

MOBO's /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Someone has to laugh at me jokes /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Twister_Ken]

Seafix RDF

 

[michael_w]

Plastic rowlocks. Possibly a candiate for the most usesless invention ever.

Elastic sail ties, the sort that whizz round the boom and catch you neatly across the kisser. Ouch!

EasyLock midi rope clutches. Slip slidin' away.