Wednesday humor.....Full of it!!!

[Bejasus]

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!


"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."..........I think????

 

[byron]

I believe the Schitts are a well known Berlin family related to the Scheizers of Vienna and the Merdes of Paris. Contrary to rumour they are not related to the Skatas of Athens.

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<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.freeware.mcmail.com/435.htm>http://www.freeware.mcmail.com/435.htm</A>

 

[EME]

Humer ?

There are two nuns walking through a forest. One of
them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the
other is known as Sister Logical, (SL). It is
getting dark and they are still far away from the
convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following
us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I
wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15
minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to
walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach
us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split up.
You go that way and I'll go this way. He can't
follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister
Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried
what has happened to Sister Logical. Moments later,
Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me
what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man
couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing. I started to run as fast
as I could and he started to run as fast as he
could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress
up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his
pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress
up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

(And those of you who thought it would be dirty, say
3 Hail Marys and get back to work!!)


...I wanna boat please..

 

[Geoffs]

Probably related to the Blair's of London, though.

Old Chinese proverb 'Man who sail boat into rice field, soon get into paddy'

 

[Bejasus]

Ouch!!!!

"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."..........I think????